as i see it (cont.) - Pt. II

[ara baliozian]

Monday, June 10, 2002

**************************

#

No one ever warned me

that understanding and

sharing your understanding with others

amounts to making yourself vulnerable

to the verbal abuse of hooligans.

#

If what you say doesn't make sense

no one will bother with you.

But if what you say makes sense,

stones will fly.

The truth shall set you free, we are told.

But collectively, we have been slaves of lies

for such a long time that

we cannot conceive of truth as a liberating force.

Or, as Hagop Baronian put it:

"Truth is a language that if not spoken is forgotten."

#

Individuals, nations, and empires fall

not by an act of God

or historic conditions beyond their control

but by inner failings

whose existence they refuse to acknowledge.

[ara baliozian]

LATER [10 June, 2002]

****************************

#

By joining a party,

a partisan acquires the privilege of viewing

members of the opposition as enemies,

chezoks (non-partisans or neutrals) as nonentities,

and critics as malcontents:

thus hitting not two but three birds with one stone.

#

More often than not, it is in our efforts to appear smarter that we expose ourselves as fools. # It makes little sense to support one side against another when both sides belong to the dustbin of history. # There is a type of hostile reader who resents you because you dare to be ahead of him without his consent. # One reads not to get at the truth or to find the final answers to the most important questions. One reads in the hope of coming across an idea that combined with one’s own experience will create a spark that may illuminate a dark corner of one’s psyche.

[ara baliozian]

Tuesday, June 11, 2002

****************************

#

The shortest book in the world:

A HISTORY OF ARMENIAN SOLIDARITY.

You may now guess the title of the longest book.

#

Two of my favorite quotations

which may be said to be variations on the same theme:

Saint-Simon: "My self-esteem has always increased

in direct proportion to the damage I was doing to my reputation."

Tolstoy: "The higher I rise in the opinion of others,

the lower I sink in my own."

#

Writers like Raffi, Baronian, Odian, Zarian, Shahnour, Massikian

and many others prove that criticism and patriotism

are not incompatible concepts;

blind patriotism by contrast is almost always symptomatic of fascism.

[ara baliozian]

LATER [11 June, 2002]

*******************************

#

I am not surprised to read the following headline

in one of our weeklies:

THOSE WHO WERE NOT AFRAID OF SOVIET INJUSTICE

ARE NOW AFRAID OF ARMENIAN JUSTICE.

#

Advice to a young Armenian writer:

Be brief. Be honest. But I repeat myself.

If you are honest, you are bound to be brief.

Charlatans and windbags love big words,

long sentences, interminable sermons,

and speeches that stretch from here to eternity.

#

When an Armenian asks you a question,

you can be sure of one thing:

he knows the answer.

#

It’s not easy being an Armenian writer

who writes for Armenians;

as a matter of fact,

it can be as demanding as being an Italian tenor

who sings for Italians.

Which is why most Italian tenors,

like most Armenian writers,

prefer odar audiences.

More money, fewer critics.

[ara baliozian]

Wednesday, June 12, 2002

*****************************

#

The more successful you are in fooling men,

the less successful you will be in fooling reality.

#

Sometimes it may seem as though

I were a voice in the wilderness,

but I am not.

Armenians who think and feel as I do

happen to be in the majority

but they no longer care to raise their voices,

or, for that matter,

to identify themselves as Armenians.

#

There is an idiot in all of us,

including the most wise.

Likewise, there is a killer in all of us,

compliments of our crocodilian ancestors.

This may explain why sometimes intelligent men

are deceived by fools,

and decent men are misled by criminal psychopaths;

and here, I could make a long list of famous men

who supported Hitler, Mussolini, and Stalin.

[ara baliozian]

ON BENEFACTORS

*****************************************

#

If we are to believe Plato,

great wealth and compassion are incompatible concepts;

but if we are to believe our hirelings,

yes-men, flunkies, and brown-nosers,

our benefactors are noble specimens of humanity

motivated only by compassion;

and if we are to believe our cynics,

who cares what motivates them as long as they give?

The question: how much of what they give

reaches its destination is seldom raised.

And worse: what if, by supporting thieves,

bloodsuckers, gravediggers, and dividers

(or institutions that legitimize and certify our divisions)

our benefactors end up doing more harm than good?

And now, let’s rise from the abstract to the concrete

(as Marxists were fond of saying):

in an article about one of our celebrated national benefactors

I remember to have read once:

"He massacres anyone who stands in his way."

It is to be noted that this article was written anonymously:

an index of the writer’s fear

of the bloodthirsty disposition of the benefactor.

If it’s true that "there is a Turk in all of us"

(in the words of one of our elder statesmen),

it must also be true that there is

a Sultan Abdul Hamid in every benefactor.

#

At least two Armenian benefactors

have contacted me for the same purpose:

their memoirs.

That’s the only time the wealthy think of writers:

when they are in the market for immortality;

and the only reason they think of Armenian writers is that

they know they (writers) come cheaper than janitors.

#

A fellow Armenian (a white-haired elderly no-nonsense type)

knocks on my door, introduces himself, barges in,

and demands to know if I am really an atheist.

I tell him, I don't believe in the god of our priests.

He is too puzzled by my answer to pursue the matter.

What I fail to add is that,

the true atheist is he who uses someone else’s crucifixion

to make a comfortable living.

[ara baliozian]

ARMENIAN ETIQUETTE

****************************

If you are wrong you will be corrected.

If you are right you will be insulted.

ON CAPITAL

****************

If money can solve our problems,

why is it that so far it has failed to do so?

INTOLERANCE

*******************

At one time or another I have been accused

of all those things that I have exposed and condemned,

including fascism, racism, anti-Semitism and intolerance.

I don't mind pleading guilty to the charge of intolerance:

I am indeed intolerant of stupidity and ignorance

parading as knowledge and wisdom.

I am also intolerant of greed, double-talk,

tribalism, chauvinism, yes-men, brown-nosers,

Ottomanism, Stalinism, cowardice, treason,

arrogance, and I could go on and on….

If by being tolerant of these things

I will be a better Armenian, I say,

No thanks! I'd much rather be an honest human being.

MONEY AND RELATED ATROCITIES

***************************************

Marxist historians have suggested that

Jesus was crucified not because he claimed to be

the son of God but because he challenged

the economic structure of the state

by his violently hostile attitude

towards money-changers.

It has also been suggested that our Genocide

was a result of the envy and hatred

which poor Turks felt towards wealthy Armenians.

Whoever said money is the root of all evil

he sure knew what he was talking about.

[ara baliozian]

Thursday, June 13, 2002

*******************************

#

In a letter from an Armenian poet:

"After writing for Armenians all my life,

I am beginning to hate Turks less."

#

Where there is an Armenian church

you will also find a wealthy merchant with a guilty conscience.

#

Loyalty: this word reminds me of a dog that barks at you

even when you have no designs on its territory or master.

#

To "belong" only for the pleasure of looking down

at those who don't belong:

the things men do to entertain a false sense of superiority!

#

When I speak against charlatans,

honest men are not offended because

they know they are not my targets.

It’s different with the charlatans

who think attack is the best defense.

[ara baliozian]

Friday, June 14, 2002

***************************

#

I love being a writer.

What I can't stand is

smart-ass know-it-all Armenian readers.

But I also know that

if it weren't for them

I would run out stimulation.

Please note that I am not saying inspiration

because that would elevate jackasses

to the status of muses.

#

Some of my readers go out of their way

to make themselves hateful in my eyes

on the assumption that they are thus

making themselves lovable in the eyes of others.

They live in a stiflingly narrow world of their own

in which there are only two ways of thinking:

their way and the wrong way.

There you have it:

the origin of all fascist thought.

#

And then there are readers

who take sides because either

they can't think for themselves

or they are afraid to stand on their own two feet.

#

If you examine the background

of all man's inhumanity to man,

you will invariably find someone who asserted:

"I know what's right and wrong

and I say I am right and you wrong!"

or "I know what's good and evil

and I say I am good and you evil!"

Bertrand Russell once said that

one of the functions of philosophy is to introduce

doubt by questioning the validity of all certainties.

Even more to the point,

a contemporary French philosopher said:

"I am willing to worship the man

who is searching for the truth

but I would gladly kill him

if he says he found it."

[ara baliozian]

ONE POTATO, TWO POTATO

************************************************

A wise man once said that

people who brag about their ancestors

are like potatoes:

the only good thing that belongs to them is underground.

I grew up among Greeks:

potatoes par excellence.

I will never forget the American,

who, after listening very patiently to a Greek

bragging about Greek contributions

to philosophy, democracy, astronomy,

physics, athletics, medicine, geometry, literature, and so on,

demanded to know:

"And what have you done lately?"

Those among us who like to boast

about the achievements of our forefathers,

should ask themselves that

as well as the following questions:

Would our forefathers be proud of us?

Will our children and grandchildren brag about us?

Does anyone ever brag about an ancestor

whose sole contribution has been

bragging about ancestors?

[Sip]

Obviously you haven't met some of the real "geniuses" we have at UCLA. Sometimes I wonder how the hell they got out of elementary school ... not to mention how they ended up in a university

 

Ever heard the expression "dumb as a box of nails?" well, some of these kids are dumber

[ara baliozian]

ON REPETITION

***********************

#

To those who accuse me of repeating myself,

I say: If the same question is raised again and again,

it would be irresponsible on my part

to change my answer

for the sake of introducing variety

in someone’s humdrum existence.

#

To those who find me predictable, tedious and redundant,

may I repeat my initial reaction to this charge:

Please, feel absolutely free to ignore me.

I for one will be more than happy to have fewer

intellectually superior philistines in my audience.

#

Sartre: "Let us not be afraid of repetition."

#

If repetition is a crime, who is the victim?

If repetition is a transgression, where is the harm?

[ara baliozian]

ARMENIAN READERS

*****************************

#

Everything I write is an answer to a specific

question, objection, or criticism.

And yet, some of my readers complain

that I ignore them.

I suspect what these readers want is not answers

but attention, flattery, propaganda, and lies.

To them I say:

It’s been a pleasure disappointing you.

#

Sometimes I am urged by readers

to prove my usefulness

by joining one of our institutions,

the implication being that words are cheap,

writing an exercise in futility,

and literature a waste of time.

First of all,

our institutions have no use for people like me.

In their eyes I am a fault-finder, a malcontent, and a whiner.

What they want are good soldiers,

yes-men, and above all contributors.

Men with fat bellies and

fatter bank accounts, certainly!

Believers, yes.

Dupes? Of course!

Skeptics, no.

Critics, even less.

As for literature being a waste of time:

this is not an Armenian or civilized concept

but one worthy of bloodthirsty barbarians and fascists.

Is it conceivable that

that’s all we have learned

from our former lords and masters?

#

If I have 50 readers,

49 of them are sure to know better.

Ah! The pleasures and privileges

of being an Armenian writer.

#

If you write you will make mistakes

and there will always be readers

who will be glad to correct you

(simply because everyone loves

to assert his superior knowledge),

and editors who will demand revisions

(because that’s what editors do).

But if you are a leader

you can always surround yourself with yes-men

who will cover up your blunders

and misrepresent your defeats as moral victories,

and they will do this in the hope that

on the day they become leaders

they too will have achieved infallibility.

Abuse of power in Armenian history:

what a book one could write on that subject,

and probably one of the longest

in the history of world literature.

#

No one can silence a phony expert

as effectively as another phony expert.

That’s because in a battle of egos,

the bigger ego is bound to triumph.

#

I have had readers who spent so much time

crapping on me that

they eventually drowned in their own crap

and were never heard from again.

[ara baliozian]

THE DEATH OF GENGHIS KHAN

*****************************

By Avedik Issahakian

In his golden bed lies Genghis Khan suffering from a

terminal disease.

"Vizir, Death cannot be far," he whispers to his Minister

of State. "I command you to man the barricades, towers, and

boundaries of the capital. Watch over the palace day and

night, so that death shall not dare to enter. And if you

catch sight of him, arrest him and have him killed."

Saying this he stood up.

"Vizir, give me my sword so that if Death comes near me I

shall impale his heart."

The command was carried out.

"Vizir, I can't lift it, it's too heavy. Give me my

dagger."

This command was also carried out too.

"Vizir, I can't move my arm. Who is holding me back?"

"No one, my lord. Who would dare to hold back the arm of

the man who conquered the world?"

"Vizir, it's getting dark, I cannot see. Who put out the

lights?"

"No one, my lord. Who would dare to put out the lights of

your palace?"

"Vizir, I cannot breathe. Someone is sitting on my chest.

Hang that impudent malefactor!"

And now, there is complete silence.

Death has crept silently into the palace and is standing

over the Khan.

"It is I," he whispers, " it is I who is holding back your

arm; it is I who has darkened your eyes; it is I who is

sitting on your chest."

"How did you enter, bandit!" demands the Khan in a final burst.

But all strength now drained, he lets the dagger fall from

his hand.

"Vizir, Death has come. Why did you let him in? Treason,

bribery!...."

"I did not come from afar," says Death. " I have always

been with you, inseparable. When you were young, you

defeated me, but I fought on and wore you down. I have

now defeated you. Express your last wish and let us be on

our way."

"Vizir, I command you to poison all the fountains, rivers,

seas, and oceans of my empire, so that everyone shall die

with me."

The Minister did not hear this last command, for Death

had paralyzed the Emperor's cruel tongue.

"That is my work," said Death with anger in his voice.

"Make your will and testament and let us be on our way."

"Vizir, have the following inscription on my tomb: Genghis

Khan conquered the world, but beside Death, the world is

nothing but a speck of dust. Death alone is the master,

the only invincible warrior, the only Eternal Truth...."

(Translation by Ara Baliozian)

[ara baliozian]

LIES

***************

#

"Don't believe everything you read in the papers,"

he says, after which he swallows hook, line and sinker

every word in a commentary, editorial or article

that supports his set of prejudices, misconceptions and fallacies,

which amounts to saying,

he believes in all lies that legitimize his favorite lies.

#

There is a cause-and-effect continuity in life

which we cannot always establish

because our perception of reality

is never equal to its many complexities.

A volcano appears to us

as a sudden eruption because,

unlike dogs, birds, and sheep,

we have lost some of our sensory perceptions.

Reality, or getting at the truth,

is more like a movement towards,

as opposed to a fixed point

on which we can stand and say

"This is it, we have arrived!"

Perhaps there is no such thing as truth,

only layers upon layers of propaganda, lies, and half-truths,

and after you peel them all off,

you end up with nothing but victims:

victims of liars who think they have truth

or god on their side.

#

Most liars repeat someone else’s lies.

They are too lazy, stupid or cowardly to invent their own.

#

Search for the truth not in order to find it

but in order to uncover ten thousand lies.

[ara baliozian]

Monday, June 17, 2002

***************************

#

No one can be as unteachable as a teacher.

Teachers and learning might as well be as

mutually exclusive as lawyers and ethics.

#

It’s not easy civilizing barbarians.

But what is infinitely harder is

civilizing barbarians who brag

about their past civilization.

#

The message of our chauvinists boils down to this:

"We are the best of all possible people

living in the worst of all possible worlds."

It follows:

Our salvation lies only in educating the world.

But since so far we have failed in that enterprise,

and the chances that we may have better luck in the future

might as well be nil,

it is our destiny to remain perennial losers and victims.

#

I no longer read our pundits.

More often than not, I don't even have to read their first line

to guess what the last will say.

#

When an Armenian speaks about Armenia

and says the same things as Hitler did

when he spoke about Germany,

I have every reason to smell a rat and to say

there is something rotten in the state of Denmark.

[ara baliozian]

BOOMERANG

************************

The daughter of a famous Armenian writer

calls me from Italy and informs me that

writing for Armenians is a waste of time.

I don't have the heart to tell her that

I have been told that many times,

beginning with my father

when I was fourteen

and my mother almost every day.

One reason I go on writing for Armenians is that

during the last three decades

that I have been writing,

I have made so many enemies

who have done their utmost to silence me that

I hate to give up the idea of reminding them

as often as I can

that they have been

and continue to be

sources of inspiration to me.

[ara baliozian]

FROM MY DIARY

*************************

#

On being told that I am a church organist,

she says (loud enough for me to hear):

"I can't stand organ music!" – implying:

"If he wants to impress me,

he must do better than that."

Such a typically Armenian reaction!

#

If only our chauvinists had the ability

to make patriotism interesting --

instead of using it as an excuse to bore the daylights

out of their readers.

#

To how many of our chauvinists I could say:

I am familiar with your line of reasoning

because I too was brainwashed.

#

In the hands of a gifted writer (Celine comes to mind)

even anti-Semitism becomes interesting – as opposed to

regurgitated mullah crapola.

#

The Armenian identity is such a vaguely defined

and poorly understood concept that

even Armenians who are no better than

"Christian Turks" or "Turkish gypsies"

feel qualified to brag about their superior brand of Armenianism.

#

Karekin Nejdeh: "It is the height of ignorance

for a political party to think that

it can deny the value of morality in its own conduct

and maintain moral integrity within its ranks."

[ara baliozian]

NOTES / COMMENTS

****************************

#

The internet is not the best medium

of communication and dialogue because

it encourages first (instinctive) reactions

at the expense of second thoughts,

and according to Euripides:

"Among mortals second thoughts are the wisest."

#

Chekhov: "Love, friendship, respect

do not unite people as much as

common hatred for something."

Our leadership has known this for some time;

hence, their unspoken slogan:

"There is no business like shoah business."

#

We will mature as a nation only when

we take ideas as seriously as money.

[sen_Vahan]

"The daughter of a famous Armenian writer

calls me from Italy and informs me that

writing for Armenians is a waste of time.

I don't have the heart to tell her that

I have been told that many times,

beginning with my father

when I was fourteen

and my mother almost every day."

 

An Armenian writer, when he starts writing, tries to focus on the problems of the nation. Am I right? I think that's natural for the writer to worry about the problems in the society but I do not understand why all the Armenian writers do ONLY that? I do not know (or maybe do not remember... .) an Armenian writer-philosopher as Dostoevsky, Tolstoy, etc. Where this come from? We cannot thing big if our writers/intellectuals focus only on the national problems.

 

"One reason I go on writing for Armenians is that

during the last three decades

that I have been writing,

I have made so many enemies

who have done their utmost to silence me that

I hate to give up the idea of reminding them

as often as I can

that they have been

and continue to be

sources of inspiration to me."

 

So, then we are also a source of inspiration for you... I am glad to know that! Please, do not consider us as your enemies and we do not try to silince you.

[Sip]

Well, I for one have found some of the points pretty cool. I haven't agreed with all of them but it is fairly interesting reading.

[ara baliozian]

Wednesday, June 19, 2002

*********************************

#

Raffi: "Even those among us

who have taken it upon themselves to educate the people

are nothing but uneducated ignoramuses."

#

Sometimes I am asked:

"Why are you so consistently negative?"

My reply: Negative is in the eye of the beholder.

To be against lies is positive;

but not to the liar, of course.

#

The torch of truth burns many asses.

#

To ignore or cover up our problems

is also to reject in advance all possible solutions.

#

A fool will trust his enemy and alienate his friend

because his friend will not flatter the idiot in him.

#

An Armenian is a foreigner to another Armenian.

#

I believe there is a special place in hell

reserved for people who think

what they know is good enough for them

and no one and nothing can change that.

[ara baliozian]

Thursday, June 20, 2002

***************************

#

On more than one occasion I have been asked:

"Why do you hate yourself and your fellow Armenians?"

My answer:

It is a bad mistake to equate criticism with hatred.

It is a worst mistake to assume that just because

someone loves himself he is worthy of love.

#

Malcolm Cowley: "No complete son-of-a-bitch

ever wrote a good sentence."

#

Hagop Garabents: "Once upon a time we fought and shed our

blood for freedom. Now we are afraid of free speech."

#

A good chauvinist should be blind in one eye;

both, of course, would be preferable.

[ara baliozian]

FRIENDS / ENEMIES

**************************

#

"La donna e mobile" says a famous Verdi aria.

So are (alas!) Armenian friends.

I have made and lost friends on the flimsiest of reasons.

I have made friends simply because I was Armenian,

and I have lost friends because

I did not share their hatred of Jews and American

or their love of mullahs and bin Laden.

#

"An Armenian loves to eat / and he eats to hate,"

says the lyrics of an Armenian song.

And speaking of eating/hating:

"One Armenian eats one chicken,

two Armenians eat two chickens

and three Armenians eat each other."

I assume if four or more Armenians get together

the result may well be a Roman orgy.

#

In a letter from a friend:

"If, as you say, Armenian literature is a dead end,

why not give up writing?"

I write for two totally non-literary reasons:

to fight boredom and

to acquire friends;

and with every book I have published,

I have acquired a new friend;

also (a second alas!) two enemies…or is it twenty-two?

[ara baliozian]

Friday, June 21, 2002

****************************

In Fouad Ajami’s review of

Sandra Mackey’s recent book

THE RECKONING: IRAQ AND THE LEGACY

OF SADDAM HUSSEIN,

I read that the history of the Middle East

has so many tribal twists and turns,

most of them hidden from public views,

that it would be no exaggeration to say that

no one can claim to know all of them.

Which may explain why

even so-called Middle-East experts

continue to have fundamental disagreements

among themselves not only on what’s to be done

but also on what took place and why.

It follows, any layman who pretends to know

what he is talking about is simply

a loud-mouth, arrogant ignoramus

who simply mouths the clichés and prejudices

of a so-called expert whose objectivity, integrity and expertise

have been established only by members

of his own club or tribe with its own narrow agenda.

The Middle East is not a religion

with clearly defined dogmas but

a vipers’ nest of contradictions and interests

that only God may be able to resolve

and so far even He has preferred to keep His distance.