as i see it (cont.) - Pt. II

[ara baliozian]

BROTHERLY ADVICE / Most Armenians stay away from community affairs

because they know from experience if they get involved they stand to lose

something: if it’s not money it will be their self-esteem and probably

both.

To those who say, "There are a great many dedicated and patriotic

Armenians who continue to be involved," my answer is: Compared to those

who stay away, they are only a tiny fraction and their involvement may

well be ephemeral. I count among my friends and relatives individuals who

after many years of involvement have given up in anger and disgust.

What’s the solution to this problem (for those who cannot see the

obvious): If you are yourself involved or are in the business of

promoting involvement: Be tolerant and kind towards your fellow Armenians

and if necessary, suffer fools gladly and pretend to enjoy every minute

of it. Remember, to serve the nation means first and foremost to serve

the people, all of the people, including those who may not always agree

with you and those whose IQ may be slightly lower than yours; and if you

are incapable of doing that, quit, resign, and stay away from community

affairs because you may end up doing more harm than good.

[ara baliozian]

FROM MY NOTEBOOKS

*********************************

Everything has been said.

What remains to be done now is to repeat

in order to remind those who pretend not to remember.

/

It is a serious blunder to confuse cunning

(which is motivated by greed)

with intelligence

(which is rooted in objective judgment).

/

Once upon a time, in the Middle Ages,

we were celebrated for being good fighters.

We still are, but only against the wrong enemy:

ourselves.

/

When I think, sometimes I am right;

but when I feel, I am almost always wrong.

/

Before you attain greatness you must achieve honesty,

and of the two, achieving honesty

may well be the more demanding enterprise.

/

The transparent ignorance of the man

who pretends to know more than he does;

unlike the silent one

who may appear much wiser than he is.

/

It is only when you try to change the status quo

that you acquire a better understanding of the powerful forces

that hold it together.

[ara baliozian]

I criticize with words.

The people are much tougher – they criticize

with their feet. I can be contradicted – and I am, every day.

But can anyone contradict the people?

/

It is only natural for those who are part of the problem

to pretend not to see the solution.

/

Is it humanly possible to ignore or forget the truth

after hearing it?

/

The astonishing ease with which people believe lies

that are to their advantage and

reject truths that are against them.

/

To how many Armenians I could say:

"As long as there are people like you in this world,

we will have wars and massacres."

/

It is not the best who brag about their identity,

but the worst.

/

I have been guilty of many blunders and sins in my life

but I have at no time advocated silencing anyone,

and what's even more to the point:

I have never been in a position to silence anyone.

I believe every one of us has an equal right

to make an ass of himself in public,

if he so chooses.

/

How do you explain the ubiquitous presence

of dime-a-dozen experts on any given subject

who pretend to know everything except how to behave in a

civilized manner?

Thus implying, being civilized

may well be un-Armenian or unpatriotic.

[ara baliozian]

If only we could teach ourselves to say:

I don't know everything and

I may not know better!

/

To think, to really think, means to go beyond

the boundaries of the already thought.

/

Where there are commissars of culture

there will be no culture.

/

On more than one occasion I have said that

Armenians are smart, sensitive, progressive,

adaptable, hard-working, and so on;

and as far as I can remember,

no one ever accused me of racism.

But when I say Armenians are

clannish, tribal, intolerant and dogmatic,

I am described as an Armenian-hating racist bigot.

One is therefore justified in concluding that

Armenians are addicted to praise

and murderously hostile to criticism;

and if this is a racist statement, so be it!

/

"You speak about Armenians loving praise

and hating criticism," a reader writes.

"But isn't that a universal failing?"

He goes on:

"My own personal objection to your kind of criticism

is that it is repetitive."

But so is praise.

And yet, no one ever complains about it.

It is true: all men are hostile to criticism;

but insecure people are even more so.

Authoritarian or fascist people, ditto!

In democracies, dissidents like Bernard Shaw

and Bertrand Russell were (and still are) universally respected.

We all know what happened to dissidents in the USSR.

I venture to suggest,

we Armenians (judging by the number of writers

we have betrayed, silenced, starved and driven to suicide)

are more like the Russians than the British.

[ara baliozian]

There is a type of arrogance

that masquerades as humility – it says in effect:

Since I am fully aware of my own worth

I don't give a damn what you and your kind think of me.

The reverse is also true:

humility that parades as arrogance:

I puff myself up because

I want to make myself visible;

and I want to make myself visible

because I am so small that

I might as well be invisible.

+

In his WISDOM OF THE SANDS,

Saint-Exupery tells us to be aware of misguided pity.

There are beggars, he explains,

who love to cling to their stench

and to expose their sores.

+

I can't read a poet

as calculating as a shopkeeper;

I refuse to listen to the sermon

of a fornicating bishop;

and no matter how hard I try

I can't respect a benefactor

as vain and ruthless

as an Ottoman sultan.

+

When two well-adjusted people meet and disagree,

there is always a chance that

they will allow their self-interest

(assuming they are driven by nothing better)

to dictate their conduct,

which also means

they may compromise and reach a consensus.

But when two prejudiced or traumatized people meet,

all verbal hell is bound to break loose,

with the result that nothing will be resolved

and a feud unto death will be born.

[ara baliozian]

APHORISMS

*********************************

By Avedik Issahakian

***************************

I.

He who does not know

is happy with his ignorance;

he who knows

is unhappy with his knowledge.

II.

Let someone else's loss

be your lesson.

III.

Suffering:

As it prolongs the passage of time

it shortens our miserable existence.

IV.

Gold begets thieves.

Thieves beget gold.

V.

If a man comes up to you and says

it is good to quarrel and fight

don't you believe a word he says.

But to make sure he knows whereof he speaks

hit him over the head once.

VI.

Happy is he who lives in a world of illusions

because for him life is filled

with sweetness and comfort.

Happy is he who can fool himself with beautiful lies

because the real world is harsh and cruel

and men's hearts full of hatred and injustice.

And finally, happy is he who likes to dream

because dreams can transform a snake-and thistle-

infested desert into a garden of delights.

VII.

I have walked over many bridges

but I have never seen a bridge

between the poor and the rich.

[ara baliozian]

The "I am right / You are wrong" mindset

is not conducive to dialogue.

The "I may be right / You may be wrong" is better.

But the best is "We may both be wrong."

The best as well as more objective because

none of us is in a position to assert to be infallible

or to know everything about anything

or to speak in the name of God.

*

The "I am right" mindset leads inevitably

to "You are dead wrong" and

"You are an ignoramus!"

which leads not to dialogue or an exchange of views

but an exchange of insults and a dead end.

*

Not to be aware of these distinctions

means to confuse Armenianism with Ottomanism or Sovietism.

*

In the review of a recent biography of Cicero

I read: "The politics of vilification eliminates rivals

but produces little that is helpful."

And I can't help thinking:

when Armenians get together

their aim appears to be not being helpful

but eliminating the opposition,

and what could be more Ottoman or Soviet or,

for that matter, anti-Armenian?

[ara baliozian]

Tuesday, July 09, 2002

***************************

Wisdom consists in (a) understanding reality

and ( in coming to terms with it.

It is not enough to say

all men are fallible or

all politicians are corrupt.

We must also accept the fact that

we too are fallible and

our own political leadership may well be corrupt.

But how many times have you heard an Armenian say

"I was wrong" or a member of the ARF admit

that his political bosses are corrupt or,

for that matter, fallible?

*

There is nothing wrong in emphasizing the positive

provided we don't cover up the negative.

But whereas we are past masters in the first endeavor,

we are in our infancy in the second –

I say this based on the manner in which

we have treated our critics.

*

On our Genocide and everything connected with it:

Somehow I can't get rid of the suspicion that

there are those among us

willing to use someone else’s crucifixion

to make a comfortable living.

[ara baliozian]

Conventional wisdom:

If I am smart, what I say can't be stupid.

And if I am good,

I am incapable of endorsing a bad idea.

What about Stalinists, Nazis and our own partisans?

Did they say -- were they remotely tempted to admit

they were stupid or bad?

Perhaps assessing oneself is at the root of all evil

because it is incompatible with honesty and objectivity.

An honest man is, as a rule, too busy defending his integrity

in a crooked world to have any time for self-flattery.

=

The surest symptom of inferiority:

assessing oneself as superior.

=

A familiar type among Armenians is the baloney artist who,

after assessing himself a genius,

feels fully qualified to be rude.

=

If the overwhelming majority of

diasporan Armenians

refuse to identify themselves as Armenian,

it may be because they have had enough

of Armenian ugliness,

the kind of ugliness that is exhibited every day here

on this forum.

Armenians who say:

If you have a Turkish surname,

or if you are A Tashnak or Ramgavar or chezok,

or Anteliassagan or Etchmiadznakan or

pro-Israel or anti-Palestinian and so on,

you cannot be my friend

(that takes care of 50% of the Diaspora);

Armenians who, after assessing themselves as better Armenians,

look down at the rest of us

as lesser men (and that takes care of the other 50%).

To which I can only say:

What the hell is the matter with you people?

How can you utter such nonsense

and consider yourselves better than anyone else,

including the lowest of the low?

[ara baliozian]

FROM THE MEMOIRS OF A RACIST

********************************************

After I published my first book, in which I had

devoted several chapters to the Genocide, a Canadian

critic with a Germanic name accused me of racism for

being unkind towards the Turks.

I was outraged!

How can I, an Armenian and a victim of Turkish

racism, be a racist? I wanted to scream.

This was 25 years ago.

I know better now.

I know now that nothing comes easier to a slave than

to emulate his master. Likewise, nothing seems more

self-righteous to a victim than to adopt the values of

his tormentors.

This insight has not made me a better man. I am still

a racist with a visceral hatred of Turks, all Turks,

with one difference however: I no longer consider it

an asset but a liability, and I refuse to delude

myself into thinking I am better than anyone else,

including Turks.

[Sip]

Sometimes it leads to an exchange of a proof (for the "I am right" hypothesis) after which everyone is happy. Except for the ignoramus that sometimes can't grasp the proof. That is when insults start flying.

 

But I do see your point when both parties are ignoramuses ... then you got nothing but insults coming up.

[nairi]

Dear Ara,

 

In what ways, in your opinion, is the West coherent? And assuming that you agree with this type of coherence and feel that it should be applied to Armenians for their survival, how do you explain for instance, Dutch language slowly, yet surely, turning into English? Or French children preferring Hollywood movies and McDonald's to French cinema and haute cuisine? Taking this into account, how different is a tribe from a coherent society when it comes to dealing with assimilation and cultural extinction? I'm genuinely interested in your opinion, as always.

 

Hope to hear from you soon,

 

Nairi

 

[ July 11, 2002, 06:36 AM: Message edited by: nairi ]

[nairi]

Since I couldn't delete this one, I edited it by deleting the contents which you can now read above this message.

 

Nairi

 

[ July 11, 2002, 06:34 AM: Message edited by: nairi ]

[ara baliozian]

Wednesday, July 10, 2002

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Institutions are not in the habit of reforming themselves.

Reforms are invariably introduced as a result of outside pressure,

such as bad press or withdrawal of support from the public.

But since most of our institutions don't depend on public support

(because they rely on the support of a handful

of non-representative wealthy merchants)

they can afford to be inflexible, authoritarian, and anti-democratic.

+

I don't make an effort to be a good Armenian.

I don't even know what that means;

and I doubt if there are two Armenians

who agree on what constitutes Armenianism.

Trying to be an honest human being keeps me so busy

that I have no time for any other enterprise.

+

Who could be more useless than an Armenian writer

writing about Armenian affairs?

No one is really interested in what he has to say;

and the handful who read him are convinced they know better.

+

A few years ago, a friend introduced me

to one of our bishops and identified me as a writer.

After giving me a compassionate look,

the good bishop informed me that Armenians don't read,

as if I didn't already know.

Shortly thereafter this same bishop

published several collections of sermons,

essays on medieval Armenian theology,

and derivative verse about the stars,

the moon, autumn leaves, and

the eternal snows of Mount Ararat.

Erasmus may have had a point when he said:

"Every man likes the smell of his own excrement."

+

Nothing is what it seems.

There are entire philosophical systems

that expose this fundamental fact of life.

There are also entire bureaucracies and enterprises

(powerful bureaucracies and profitable enterprises)

that exploit it:

from state propaganda to public relations and advertising firms.

Life may be said to be an endless struggle

between those who expose and those who exploit.

Deceivers and bloodsuckers who grow fat,

on the one hand, and on the other,

honest men who can't make ends meet,

and sometimes even end up on the gallows.

[ara baliozian]

Thursday, July 11, 2002

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toronto’s trash collectors

have been on strike now for two weeks.

Result: filthy city streets, unbearable stench,

vermin, rats, health risks,

and with the Pope’s impending visits at the end of the month,

the specter of a colossal public relations disaster.

Writing for Armenians sometimes I feel

like a trash collector who is willing to work for nothing

but whose contribution to the city’s welfare

is not only ignored but sometimes also vilified.

I write for readers in love with their own garbage

who even as they wallow in their own filth

pretend to be better than anyone else.

~

In a book of travel impressions by an English writer

(may have been Lynch)

I remember to have read something to the effect that

one should not confuse Armenian peasants

(honest, hard-working blokes)

with their Levantine counterparts

(cunning operators).

One of our drawbacks is that

very few people have come into contact with our peasants,

but the whole world has dealt with

our merchants and Oriental carpet dealers

at one time or another.

And I doubt very much if you will find

a single honest peasant among our

bosses, bishops, and benefactors.

According to Puzant Granian in an interview:

"The country of our adoption

invariably places its stamp on us.

That is one of our tragedies.

Whenever an Armenian abandons his native land

and establishes himself in the Middle East,

he acquires Levantine traits.

He goes into business, acquires a love of money,

amasses a fortune,

and begins to enjoy the pleasures and luxuries of life.

Even as a boy I could observe this transformation

in my own relatives and

developed a fierce hatred for money and wealth."

So much for those who think

all our problems can be solved with money.

Consider our situation in the Diaspora:

money has compounded rather than solved our problems,

which range from alienation and assimilation

to the proliferation of verbal garbage

and weasel words in our media.

We survived in a brutal Ottoman Empire for 600 years

but we have done nothing but

decline, disintegrate, and degenerate in the Diaspora.

[ara baliozian]

LATER

//////////////////

I am not difficult to understand

because I refuse to muddy my waters to appear deep.

On the contrary, I am so easy that some readers

are fooled into thinking they are much smarter than I am

(and they may well be).

It never even occurs to them that

what I say may have nothing to do with smarts

and everything to do with objectivity.

/

I write with the objectivity of an odar

because I have been exposed to so much chauvinist crap

that I can't imagine anyone

with the minimum degree of intelligence and self-respect

taking it seriously.

I write short essays because

I am myself easily bored with long ones.

If I can say what’s on my mind in a single paragraph,

I don't see why I should inflict ten pages on my reader.

I write about our own problems

as opposed to Turkish, Kurdish, Israeli, Balkan, and international

problems because if I cannot influence our bosses and bishops,

or, for that matter, our partisans and priests,

what chance do I have

with the President of the United States,

the Pope of Rome,

and the Emperor of China?

I write not because I hope to change things

but because writing is my business.

It may not be a profitable business

but it is a rewarding one.

Because, if you think about it,

what could be more rewarding

than exposing self-satisfied swine?

[nairi]

Dear Ara,

 

What reason should we have to keep our culture alive?

 

Nairi

[nairi]

Dear Ara,

 

What reason should we have to keep our culture alive?

 

Nairi

[nairi]

Okay, I don't know how the above message got posted twice... I hope this one will only appear once...

 

Nairi

[ara baliozian]

Friday, July 12, 2002

*****************************

One of the functions of criticism is to remind us

that some of our most fundamental assumptions

may be based not on fact but fiction.

*

When an established friend of mine

proposed to introduce me to his literary agent,

I found myself saying:

"No, thanks. I prefer to remain an angry failure

than to be a self-satisfied success."

*

The greatest boast a writer can make is to say:

"Even my enemies read me!"

*

In an Armenian context,

the light at the end of the tunnel

is bound to be the headlight of an oncoming train

carrying explosives.

*

If the historian is a militarist,

he will portray Napoleon as a genius.

If he is a pacifist, he will treat him as a criminal

more dangerous than a thousand serial killers.

All historians come with a set of

fundamental assumptions and prejudices

which they do their utmost to camouflage

in order to enhance their objectivity.

As for facts being indisputable:

consider our genocide and revisionist historians.

If a million and a half facts can be buried

by a single stroke of the pen,

then I say, there are no facts in history,

only verbal units that are as ethereal

as the shadow of an illusion.

[ara baliozian]

to be tribal means

to be divided and in constant conflict,

therefore self-defeating.

To be a nation means to resolve all internecine or tribal conflicts

and to develop a consensus.

A house divided against itself cannot stand, we are told, and so it is.

Of course, to be a nation or even an empire is no guarantee of eternal life.

Empires rise and fall.

But tribes get nowhere.

Did i understand the thrust of your question?

[nairi]

Dear Ara,

 

Thank you for your reply. Yes, in essence you did answer my question, which leads me to the next:

 

What reason should we have to keep our culture alive? I think a lot of young Armenians (including myself) are wondering what we're fighting corruption and division for when there's nothing to fight for. Our language? Our literature? Art and architecture? Is it all worth it? What advise do you have for us?

 

Thanks for publishing your work on the internet btw and allowing us to ask you questions. (If only there were more writers like you, we wouldn't need literature classes anymore...)

 

Nairi

[ara baliozian]

JUSTICE, ETHICS AND HISTORY

*************************************

There is no merit in convincing your lawyer of your innocence.

The trick is convincing the judge.

*

It is the easiest thing in the world

to establish moral superiority by one’s own code of ethics.

*

We lost not because we did the wrong thing

but because we were divided and

we failed to develop a consensus.

This has been said before, many times,

but our chauvinists and partisans

continue pretending to be deaf, dumb and stupid.

*

If only history and our enemies

played by the same rules and preferably our own riles!

*

Conflicting interests may be reconciled and often are.

Conflicting principles of morality, never!

That’s one way to explain why

winners prefer the company of winners

as opposed to that of losers

who are more interested in justifying yesterday’s blunders

than in deciding what must be done today.

*

History is a movement that does not recognize

anyone’s rules of traffic or etiquette.

What must be done may have nothing to do

with anyone’s code of ethics.

[ara baliozian]

culture means first and foremost a way of life.

if a way of life is capable of confronting the challenge of time,

nothing can kill it.

If it is a culture of losers, it is bound to perish.

Cultures are complex entities with many contradictions.

We must choose that which is best in our culture

and discard that which is against our own interests

(tribalism, dogmatism, intolerance, etc.)

But because so far we have failed to develop a consensus on this,

our history has been a succession of defeats, disasters, massacres,

dispersion, alienation and assimilation.

[ara baliozian]

AS I SEE IT

*********************

Victims and victimizers;

deceivers and dupes:

that’s how I see the world;

and I write as a victim in defense of other victims;

and I write against deceivers

because as a child I was taken in by their lies.

I was told writing was a noble profession.

It is not.

It is more like an obstacle course that stretches to infinity.

The average reader wants to be flattered;

the partisan who believes in his party’s propaganda line

as if it were holy writ

demands subservience;

bishops and benefactors are convinced

they represent two of the most powerful entities

known to man: God and capital

(make it, Capital and god).

In such an environment

literature (or for that matter, truth and honesty)

have as much chance to survive

as a sardine in a pool of hungry sharks.