as i see it - Pt. III

[sev-mard]

Unlike the insane, the sane know how to check their insane impulses.

 

 

Sometimes they do, but definately not always, especially in country like America.

[ara baliozian]

Saturday, November 22, 2003

************************************

Humility, even self-effacement: I no longer consider them virtues but realistic assessments.

*

If it weren't for our hooligans, everything I say could be dismissed as false and malicious fabrication. But it is not their mindset that I want to expose - after all, every community has its share of skinheads and hoodlums, dupes and fanatics - but the unspoken sentiments and thoughts of their role models and authority figures in whose defense they speak.

*

In the Armenian ghetto where I grew up there were Armenians who looked more like Mongols, Tartars and Germans than Armenian but they identified themselves as Armenian. I say this to point out the fact that the only way to survive in an intolerant environment, where the offspring of mixed marriages are stigmatized as bastards, is to conform even if it means to misrepresent and to lie.

*

A hooligan is equipped to understand only other hooligans - and that may well be his greatest punishment.

*

Never marry a woman whose only asset is desirability because marriage will make all other women more desirable.

*

What have I done for Armenia?

I have translated some of her writers into English.

A couple of skinheads, who have not read my translations and don't know which writers I have translated, have said that my translations are bad and my choice of writers worse. But our academics who have both read and reviewed my translations have delivered a more favorable verdict.

What has Armenia - or rather, my fellow Armenians have done for me?

They have done their utmost to reduce me to the status of a Soviet-style non-person or an abominable no-man. And I can almost hear the voice of a reader who is familiar with the history of our literature saying: "So what else is new?"

*

My favorite Armenian sayings:

Hagop Baronian: "Truth is a language that if not spoken is forgotten."

Gostan Zarian: "Our political parties have been of no political use to us; their greatest enemy is free speech."

Hagop Garabents: "Once upon a time we shed our blood for freedom; we are now afraid of free speech."

*

My favorite Turkish proverbs:

"When the house is finished, death enters."

"Among ten men, nine are sure to be women."

*

My favorite books:

The best book on the Caucasus and one of the very few non-fiction books that I have read three times and plan to read again: THE SABRES OF PARADISE by Lesley Blanch. There are many Armenians here, not all of them admirable specimens - one notable exception: a young Armenian girl called "the Pearl" who is abducted by Muslim warriors, falls in love with her captor, and when her family shows up to pay the ransom and take her back home, she refuses to go with them.

*

Two American novels that I have read three times:

LOLITA by Vladimir Nabokov, and

FAREWELL , MY LOVELY by Raymond Chandler.

*

Two favorite short stories:

"The Lady with the Pet Dog" by Anton Chekhov, and "Dead Yellow Women," by Dashiell Hammett.

*

Two books that changed my life:

THE IDIOT by Dostoevsky, and

AN INTRODUCTION TO ZEN BUDDHISM

by D.T. Suzuki.

*

The only book that I never get tired of rereading:

Arnold J. Toynbee's RECONSIDERATIONS (Volume 12 of his STUDY OF HISTORY).

*

My favorite biography:

THE LIFE OF MAHATMA GANDHI by Louis Fischer.

*

My favorite autobiography:

Jean-Paul Sartre's WORDS.

[ara baliozian]

Monday, November 24, 2003

******************************

QUESTION: What happens when an expert on any given subject meets an ignoramus who thinks he knows all he needs to know?

ANSWER: Whatever it is that happens when the Immovable Object meets the Irresistible Force.

*

The less mature the mind

the more inflexible the views.

*

The hardest challenge an Armenian writer confronts today is to convince non-readers to read him, and the next hardest is to prove to them that he is neither an enemy nor a lunatic but a fellow human being exercising his fundamental human right of free speech.

*

Shamyl, a Muslim warlord and the central character of Lesley Blanch's THE SABRES OF PARADISE on first seeing a lobster:

"Shaitan himself must look like this." When told it made delicious food:

"For the giaour."

And on first seeing monkeys:

"They are Jews that were punished for offending Allah."

*

I remember to have read somewhere that tragedy cracks the heart wide open and forces the beauty out.

If this is a rule, we must be the exception.

*

To accuse our turn-of-the-century leadership in the Ottoman Empire of incompetence is not the same as justifying the Genocide. I have at no time suggested or implied that stupidity is a capital offense. Neither is saying what must be said.

*

It is all a matter of disposition. If a man is disposed to learn, he will learn even by contemplating a bird in flight, a flower in bloom, or a grain of sand. But if he is not, even a teacher with the wisdom of Socrates, Confucius and Christ will be of no use to him.

*

There is something profoundly evil in perverting morality in the name of morality; and yet, this is exactly what all ideologies and organized religions have done.

*

We understand ourselves by observing others because they make visible that which we prefer not to see in ourselves.

*

Secret ambitions: to write two accessible books

on Bach and Hegel.

*

The ambition of every slave is to be a master. To put it differently: the only thing that oppression has taught us is to oppress - and since we cannot oppress others, we oppress one another.

*

Other writers that I have admired sometimes to the point of obsession: Thomas Mann, Charles Peguy, Plato, Simenon, and Cabrera Infante. For seven years THE MAGIC MOUNTAIN was to me what the Bible is to a born-again.

*

Propaganda is produced by a minority that is against thinking and consumed by a majority that cannot think.

*

In all political movements, lust for power is invariably hidden behind noble slogans: the greater the lust, the nobler the slogans. On the political stage, whenever God is summoned, the Devil is sure to enter.

[ara baliozian]

Tuesday, November 25, 2003

**********************************

In his recently published travel impression [RETURN TO THE HOMELAND, Yerevan, 2003, 331 pages (in Armenian)] Markar Sharabkhanian writes that Hovannes Shiraz once referred to Armenian bureaucrats in Yerevan as "hooligans" (sriganer).

I am not surprised.

It is the same in the Diaspora.

Give an Armenian nonentity a title and he will turn into a hooligan even when he deals with writers twice his age. Their slogan: "If it ain't broke, break it, shatter it to smithereens and pulverize it!"

*

Because I refuse to take orders from fools, I am thought of as a megalomaniac; and because I refuse to conform, I am dismissed as an arrogant eccentric. In the kind of world we live in, fools conspire with other fools into believing they know better, and being fools they believe it.

*

Reality invents characters that fiction cannot imagine. Which is why I prefer to observe characters than invent them. Who would have thought a hundred years ago that the offspring of survivors of Ottoman massacres would support Islamic fascists and view Jews and Americans as the source of all evil? If you speak with these Armenians, you will be told all about Israeli and American fascists. What you will not be told is the number of their Armenian victims.

What motivates these Armenians to think and feel as they do? I have no idea but I suspect historic amnesia has something to do with it.

*

Who is a Jew? Nobody knows. Even some Jews don't know they are Jews. It makes sense. The Jewish Diaspora has a millennial history of dispersion, persecution, assimilation and intermarriage. It stands to reason for some Jews to adopt non-Jewish names and identities and hide this fact from their children. It follows that we may never know to what degree anti-Semitism is an expression of self-hatred.

As for Armenians who traces their family trees all the way back to the Mamigonians and Bagratunis (such Armenians exist, believe it or not!), they should be reminded that the Mamigonians were of Chinese descent and the Bagratunis identified themselves as Jews.

As for Turks: can anyone prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that half of Turkey is not half-Armenian?

*

In a recent interview, Cabrera Infante suggests that Latin America should be renamed Mongrelia because its inhabitants are mongrels. (See LATIN AMERICAN WRITERS AT WORK: THE PARIS REVIEW. Edited by George Plimpton. New York, 2003, 325 pages). This may also be true of Canada, the United States, all of Europe, the Middle East and the Caucasus.

One good thing about mongrels is that they may be less disposed to massacre one another and more skeptical about charlatans like Hitler preaching racial superiority.

*

According to Garcia Marquez (in the same book) the world is divided into two groups. "Those who shit well and those who don't; it makes for very different characters. But historians don't say these things because they are not important."

*

I am grateful to all the editors who by rejecting my work forced me to find my own voice.

*

"Why do you complain so much?" one of our high-ranking bureaucrats once demanded to know. "Do you think you are the only writer who has been treated badly?"

"No, of course not!" I replied. "That is why I speak with the strength of many."

He said nothing, but I could sense that he would have preferred if I had kept my mouth shut, dug a hole in the ground, crawled into it, and buried myself alive.

*

If I have had a series of negative experiences,

what I write is bound to be negative.

And if you have had a series of positive experiences,

what you write is bound to be positive.

It would be absurd of me to write as if I have had your experiences and vice versa.

Instead of insulting each other names, let us learn from each other's experiences.

If we insult each other, we both lose.

If we learn from each other, we both profit.

You may now guess which of these options is favored by Armenians.

[ara baliozian]

Friday, November 28, 2003

***************************

The worst kind of disagreements begin with the words:

"I agree with everything you say, but…."

*

I analyze our status quo.

My critics analyze me.

I analyze my critics.

Result: the status quo remains a dead end.

*

After dealing with Armenians for nearly a quarter of a century, after being dependent on them as a writer, after being at their mercy, so to speak, and after being exposed to their lies and insults, I have developed an emotional allergy for all varieties of Armenian nonsense and I am more than willing to concede that I am not a good candidate for Armenian heroism, martyrdom and sainthood.

*

Perhaps Nietzsche is right: The danger in dealing with fools is that one is liable to become a fool too.

*

To how many of my fellow Armenians I could say: "The only time I agree with you is when you are silent."

*

An angry reader once said to me: "Perhaps you should remind yourself once in a while that even the worst priest in the world never stops from being a man of God." And I was reminded of the bishop who once referred to another bishop as "that sriga (hooligan)!"

*

In great historians (Thucydides, Spengler, Toynbee) objectivity outweighs bias, which also means that being critical of one's own people and culture outweighs demonizing the enemy.

*

Why is it that honest men are seldom or never referred to as smart?

*

Armenianism should not be confused with Stalinism, fascism, fanaticism, and hooliganism.

*

The easiest thing in the world: to pretend to be better than you are. The hardest: to be successful in convincing others that you really are what you pretend to be.

I have seen so many fail in that respect that I find it much more sensible to portray myself as much worse than I am hoping thus not to stray too far from reality.

*

I have never been attacked by a pack of hungry wolves, but I can imagine what it must be like because most of my readers and critics are Armenians: the first nation to accept Christianity and practice cannibalism.

*

We live as though our problems were insoluble; but we argue as though all of us had a minimum of two solutions for every one of our problems.

*

Every nation re-writes history.

We are as much revisionists as the Turks.

Case in point: we are told again and again that,

since we were at the crossroads of empires,

we didn't have much of a chance for

peace, progress and prosperity.

What we are not told is that empires are not born but made,

and at the origin of every empire there were two tribes or warlords willing to negotiate, compromise and unite against a third.

So that, on the day one of our bosses or bishops says to the other: "I am willing to abdicate my position as number one

and help you to unite the community,"

we too may have a chance to become an empire

in a world of disintegrating empires.

But as long as our leaders place their titles, powers and privileges above the interests or even the survival of the community, we are destined to maintain our status as perennial losers forever at the mercy or at the crossroads

of bloodthirsty empires and savages

who have understood something we have refused to understand again and again: namely, there is strength in unity and a house divided against itself cannot stand.

 

******************************

Saturday, November 29, 2003

*******************************

To readers who take it upon themselves to tell me what to write and how to write it, and sometimes even how to live, I say:

You may not be aware of the fact that for every writer today we have at least a hundred charlatans parading as commissars of culture. You are not my first, neither will you be my last. So much so that it has become part of my daily routine to deal with the likes of you. Allow me therefore to refresh your memory with some of the ground rules this game is played.

My function as a writer is to express my thoughts and feelings as honesty as I can.

Your function as a reader is to read and understand me. And since I am not a politician running for office, I don't really care if I have your support or agreement. Furthermore, I have no idea who you are, what you do for a living, and what it is exactly that motivates you to disagree with me; but I have every reason to suspect that if I were to appear in your workplace, office, or clinic (if you are doctor) and tell you how to run your business, you would not be favorably disposed towards me - even though we have no history of laymen persecuting plumbers, lawyers or doctors. But we do have a long history of commissars silencing and even murdering some of our ablest writers. You may now consider your place and role in the order of things and behave accordingly.

The very best we can do as Armenians is to prove to ourselves and the world at large that we are capable of behaving in a civilized manner and that Ottomanism and Stalinism are not the only things that we have learned from our Ottoman and Soviet experiences.

Finally, let us consider another scenario: If I were to change my mind with every reader who disagrees with me, I would end up projecting the image not of a human being with a unique perspective but that of a chameleon or a parrot. In other words, I would reduce myself to an object of ridicule with nothing to contribute but empty and redundant verbiage.

My final message to you and to all our crypto-commissars, neo-commissars and phony-commissars:

Thank you for reading me thus far and if this is the very last thing you ever read by me, thank you again and you may stay assured that I for one will not miss you and your words of wisdom.

[Sasun]

we are told again and again that,

since we were at the crossroads of empires,

we didn't have much of a chance for

peace, progress and prosperity.

What we are not told is that empires are not born but made,

and at the origin of every empire there were two tribes or warlords willing to negotiate, compromise and unite against a third.

So that, on the day one of our bosses or bishops says to the other: "I am willing to abdicate my position as number one

and help you to unite the community,"

we too may have a chance to become an empire

in a world of disintegrating empires.

But as long as our leaders place their titles, powers and privileges above the interests or even the survival of the community, we are destined to maintain our status as perennial losers forever at the mercy or at the crossroads

of bloodthirsty empires and savages

who have understood something we have refused to understand again and again: namely, there is strength in unity and a house divided against itself cannot stand.

 

Very good point! I think not being united and being selfish has been the most important factor of our troubles. Not to say that our geographic location didn't play againts our interests. I am convinced that a location where there had been no Turks would be much more beneficial. Perhaps we could be the same divided loosers but at least we wouldn't die like cattle.

[Twilight Bark]

.

.

What we are not told is that empires are not born but made,

.

.

.

we too may have a chance to become an empire

.

.

I stopped reading Mr. B some time ago, but upon seeing Sasun's response (which is when I check this thread) I had to say something. There are few sights more pathetic than a nerd lusting for an "empire". I am sure there are many self-evident "truisms" in whatever Mr. B wrote, but the apparent thought "Akh, wouldn't it be swell to have had a bloodthirsty empire" immediately disqualifies him as a true intellectual, and reduces him to a nerd who preferred accumulating encyclopaedic information over real life and wisdom. His myopic and capricious refusal to see that Armenian culture (for all its many faults) has never had much interest in dominating others, and that not being able to put together a focussed bunch of bloodthirsty thugs was not the real reason for their lack of "imperial glory" is tiring. They would have probably goofed up royally if they tried I suppose (not being natural at that sort of thing), but they never really did. And that is something to be proud of, not lament on.

 

Who are our thinkers today? Do we have any that is worthy of the description?

 

Depressed,

TB

Edited December 1, 2003 by Twilight Bark

[Sasun]

TB, I agree with you about the Armenian culture not being "imperial" although that could be because we never (almost never) had an empire. I am not sure about that, certainly at no point have Armenian intellectcuals or artists longed for an empire

As far as Ara's "imperial ideas", I didn't see it the way you saw. Maybe I am wrong, but I understood it like "Fools, you are talking about empires but if you ever want to have one you should be united..." Well, you could say that the author of such a statement wants an empire. But since Ara has expressed many thoughts against tyranny I am inclined to think that's not what he means. Perhaps he simply means a united entity such as the EU or USA.

When I replied I actually had in mind a united Armenia first of all - any empire certainly is based on the unity of the core nation.

[Twilight Bark]

TB, I agree with you about the Armenian culture not being "imperial" although that could be because we never (almost never) had an empire. I am not sure about that, certainly at no point have Armenian intellectcuals or artists longed for an empire

As far as Ara's "imperial ideas", I didn't see it the way you saw. Maybe I am wrong, but I understood it like "Fools, you are talking about empires but if you ever want to have one you should be united..." Well, you could say that the author of such a statement wants an empire. But since Ara has expressed many thoughts against tyranny I am inclined to think that's not what he means. Perhaps he simply means a united entity such as the EU or USA.

When I replied I actually had in mind a united Armenia first of all - any empire certainly is based on the unity of the core nation.

Dear Sasun,

 

Armenian culture is not imperial not because it has never had an empire, but because it has rarely ever even tried. It can be argued that Kurds never had an empire, but their culture has the basics of being "imperial". They would have one if they could get their act together. However, even Tigran's "empire" was built mostly by a power vacuum to the south, almost "by invitation". Again, measure "imperial" qualities of a culture by its ambitions, not in its abilities to carry through; the second belongs to another discussion. Armenians simply are not an "imperial" people; period.

 

As for Mr. B's longings, I don't really care. Take away his erudition, take away utterly trivial mainstream-level sloganeering that one can readily find in any American newspaper or magazine, and take away his bitterness about the (apparently shocking) fact that stupid people act stupidly (and their implied guilt in his lack of a Nobel literature prize), what is left of Mr. B in terms of original thought and philosophy is, well, nothing. Which is no big deal. I mean, he is under no obligation to be bright, wise, or deep. My lamentation is that the Armenian intellectual scene is so arid and sterile that an utter mediocrity appears to many as a modern-day prophet.

 

Sadly,

TB

[ara baliozian]

******************************

Saturday, November 29, 2003

*******************************

To readers who take it upon themselves to tell me what to write and how to write it, and sometimes even how to live, I say:

You may not be aware of the fact that for every writer today we have at least a hundred charlatans parading as commissars of culture. You are not my first, neither will you be my last. So much so that it has become part of my daily routine to deal with the likes of you. Allow me therefore to refresh your memory with some of the ground rules this game is played.

My function as a writer is to express my thoughts and feelings as honesty as I can.

Your function as a reader is to read and understand me. And since I am not a politician running for office, I don't really care if I have your support or agreement. Furthermore, I have no idea who you are, what you do for a living, and what it is exactly that motivates you to disagree with me; but I have every reason to suspect that if I were to appear in your workplace, office, or clinic (if you are doctor) and tell you how to run your business, you would not be favorably disposed towards me - even though we have no history of laymen persecuting plumbers, lawyers or doctors. But we do have a long history of commissars silencing and even murdering some of our ablest writers. You may now consider your place and role in the order of things and behave accordingly.

The very best we can do as Armenians is to prove to ourselves and the world at large that we are capable of behaving in a civilized manner and that Ottomanism and Stalinism are not the only things that we have learned from our Ottoman and Soviet experiences.

Finally, let us consider another scenario: If I were to change my mind with every reader who disagrees with me, I would end up projecting the image not of a human being with a unique perspective but that of a chameleon or a parrot. In other words, I would reduce myself to an object of ridicule with nothing to contribute but empty and redundant verbiage.

My final message to you and to all our crypto-commissars, neo-commissars and phony-commissars:

Thank you for reading me thus far and if this is the very last thing you ever read by me, thank you again and you may stay assured that I for one will not miss you and your words of wisdom.

 

Monday, December 01, 2003

***********************************

So far we have allowed others to determine our fate as a nation - the Turks in our Ottoman phase, the Russians in our Soviet phase. And now that we are our own masters - or rather, now that history has thrust on us the responsibility of determining our own fate -

are we doing a better job than our former masters?

During our Ottoman phase we produced Baronian, Odian, Zohrab, Zabel Yessayan and many others.

During our Soviet phase we produced Bakounts, Mahari, Aram Khachaturian, Levon Saryan, and so on.

As I survey our cultural scene today, I see nothing but a desert of mediocrity. I use the arts here as a symptom and a means rather an end in themselves. Great nations and great cultures produce great minds. But perhaps produce is the wrong word. Accommodate or allow the development of great minds would be more accurate.

But an environment dominated by mediocrities will view excellence as a threat and will do its utmost to obstruct its path.

*

Memo to a reader:

Either read me with an open mind or don't read me at all. And remember, the first victim of a closed mind is yourself.

*

If wrong, I can always rely on my readers to correct me.

I can even rely on them to correct me when I am right - especially when I am right.

*

Dupes eager to fall for self-flattering slogans have always outnumbered those who can think for themselves. It didn't take much to convince Germans into thinking they belonged to a superior race even as they behaved like swine. And consider the Islamic fascists at the turn of the century in the Ottoman Empire, and even today, massacring innocent civilians in the name of a "compassionate and merciful" Allah.

*

Ignorance, Socrates said and never tired of repeating, is the source of all evil, especially the kind of ignorance that parades as superior knowledge ("I know better!").

*

Preaching patriotism is a dishonest way out of an argument. Because if you have reason on your side, you will have no need of slogans, cliches, and mumbo jumbo.

*

The unspoken slogan of our commissars of culture: "Brown-nosers good! Dissenters, bad!"

There you have it: crypto-Stalinism by other means.

*

The only time it is safe to identify an Armenian as a writer or poet (as opposed to scribbler or versifier) is when he dies - preferably killed by a murderous regime. Which is why to escape the notice of our bureaucrats and hooligans (all of whom operate on the assumption that they know better) I prefer to identify myself as a scribbler.

*

In our environment there is more profit in kissing ass than in kicking ass. But even in kissing ass, the supply so outweighs the demand, and the competition is so stiff that, the chances are the average ass-kisser will have as much difficulty in making minimum wage as the average ass-kicker.

*

I have had many arguments with many Armenians but as far as I can remember I have lost all of them. Either because my arguments were not persuasive enough or my adversaries started the argument with the assumption that they knew better; and when an Armenian makes such an assumption, even the Irresistible Force cannot budge him.

*

 

Tuesday, December 02, 2003

*********************************

Perhaps I project my own inadequacies on the nation - or is it the other war around? By observing the inadequacies of the nation, I see my own.

Does it really matter?

What is the alternative?

To pretend I am better and our leaders are right even when wrong? Isn't that the central message of our propaganda? Isn't that what our charlatans do? Of what possible use would I be to anyone if I were to join their ranks?

*

To say we are the best in a nasty, ruthless, dishonest world is to hope that some day the world will see the light and be a more congenial place. Which also means to adopt a passive stance and do nothing.

If, on the other hand, we want to face facts and come to grips with reality, we have no choice but to admit that we are as bad as the rest of them and the only reason we have not fallen as low as the Turks, the Germans, or the Americans (in their treatment of the natives and slaves), is that history has not presented as with the opportunity.

*

I never ask myself what I can do for my homeland but what my homeland can do for me, not because I am a self-centered megalomaniac but because the function of the state is to serve the people.

Someone, some day will have to teach our leaders and their hirelings that the difference between fascism and democracy is this:

under fascism the people serve the state;

under democracy it's the other way around: the state serves the people, which is why, even the head of state is called a public servant.

*

If my critics were to ignore me I would sink into anonymity and oblivion without leaving a footprint in the sand. But as long as they read and contradict me, they allow me to penetrate their consciousness and disturb their inner balance.

*

Whenever the subject of prayer comes up I don't mind admitting that the last time I prayed was in 1949. But it occurs to me now that perhaps everything I write is also a prayer - if not in the sense of a direct appeal to the Good Lord (Who, if He exists, He must have His hands full with far more serious problems than our petty internecine squabbles) than to the common sense and decency of my fellow men (which cannot be said to be in contradiction with divine values and objectives).

*

A spirit of contradiction can be a valuable asset if it is directed against oneself. Directed against others it might as well be a sure symptom of a closed mind.

*

Wednesday, December 03, 2003

*******************************

At all times and everywhere philistines have been in the majority. My guess is, every prehistoric cave painting was interrupted again and again by philistines who said to the painter: "Make yourself useful. Go out and kill an animal. We can't have paintings for lunch."

When one of our eminent national benefactors said to one of our poets: "Poetry is of no use to us!" he was echoing the very same sentiments of prehistoric kibitzers whose spiritual and intellectual horizons never went beyond hunger and lunch.

I respect the benevolence of our benefactors but I loathe the values they legitimize: money is everything, ideas trash. Capitalists are princes, poets paupers.

*

When late in life Verdi made a recommendation to a conservatory and was ruled out, he wrote an angry letter

whose first line reads:

"If I had been born a TURK I might have got what I asked!"

*

I have been silenced by partisan editors,

corrected by uninformed ignoramuses,

and insulted by chauvinists because I refuse to recycle chauvinist crap:

I must be on the right path.

*

In a book published in 1836 and titled HINTS ON ETIQUETTE by that most prolific of all thinkers and sources of wisdom, Mr. Anon (short for Anonymous) we read the following: "Shopkeepers and retailers of various goods will do well to remember that people are respectable in their own sphere only and that when they attempt to step out of it they cease to be so."

[ara baliozian]

TB, I agree with you about the Armenian culture not being "imperial" although that could be because we never (almost never) had an empire.

if i had a choice between being a loser and winner,

i would choose being a winner.

if some armenians choose being losers

it's not because they were born losers but they were made losers.

i guess losers too are not born but made.

and when they realize they had no choice in the matter, they console themselves by saying they are morally superior.

but why is it that we could not be a morally superior empire?

[ara baliozian]

Thursday, December 04, 2003

************************************

In a recent interview, Freud's grand-daughter is reported to have said: "The 20th Century produced two major charlatans: Hitler and Freud."

My first thought: Her legal claim on the Freud estate and a fraction of his royalties must have been rejected by a court of law. (In this connection see also Aram Saroyan's memoir of his father, LAST RITES).

*

Was Freud a charlatan?

Was Columbus a charlatan when he thought he had discovered not America but a new way to reach India?

Was Aristotle a charlatan when he said women have fewer teeth than men?

Did Einstein expose Newton as a charlatan?

*

A headline in our local paper today reads: "BUSH PROVES TO MUSLIMS HE'S JUST AN UGLY AMERICAN." And I suppose, Muslims prove to Americans they are beautiful Arabs?

*

In a French dictionary I read a definition of tolerance which says, among other things:

"Tolerance is a proof of intelligence because it allows us to enrich ourselves by contact with beliefs and practices that are not our own. Its aim is to replace brute force with reason."

It follows: where there is intolerance there will also be ignorance and stupidity.

*

There are two kinds of terrorists:

the naïve dupes and the cold-blooded killers.

The first are as much victims as those they kill.

The second are no better than bloodthirsty fanatics in search of a cause that will legitimize their killer instincts.

*

I have been in and out of hospitals recently and I have discovered that young and pretty nurses are more considerate and cause less pain than old and ugly ones.

In nursing, it seems, as in so many other fields of human endeavor, disposition counts more than experience.

*

If we can be morally superior losers, why can't we be morally superior winners? - forgers of an empire that liberates rather than oppresses and exploits the natives. Not a military empire but a moral one whose strength lies not in brute force but in its dedication to such principles and ideals as justice for all and respect for fundamental human rights.

*

In his ONE DAY IN THE LIFE OF IVAN DENISOVICH,

Alexander Solzhenitsyn writes:

"Who is a Zek's worst enemy? Another Zek."

Zeks too, I thought.

*

If Gandhi is right, even the most dehumanized and cowardly liar and dupe retains within him a divine spark. To those who insult and reject me, I say: I don't write for you but for the human being buried within you. I write for that tiny divine spark that lies buried beneath layers of prejudices, illusions, and fears.

*

The aim of our political leadership and the genocide industry they support and promote is to reform the mindset of present-day Turkish leaders.

The aim of our intellectuals (from Abovian to Zarian) has been to reform the mindset of our leaders.

Without knowing it, both our leaders and intellectuals share a common aim: to battle Ottomanism with words and ideas.

Obviously, a lose/lose proposition.

*

On page 5 of THE ARMENIAN REPORTER (November 15) I read a long review of a book in Turkish written by a Turkish scholar which proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Ottoman Empire was thoroughly corrupt.

In the same issue of the REPORTER on page 28, I read an article translated from the Russian and written by an Armenian that says present-day Armenia is thoroughly corrupt and that the very same bureaucrats assigned to fight corruption are themselves criminals busy amassing vast fortunes at the expense of the people.

At the end of the article, the translator has appended a comment in italics wherein it is stated that the corruption in Armenia must be blamed not on our criminals but on the World Bank and the International Monetary Fund.

There it is: our penchant to put the blame on others - if it's not the Turks than it must be the corrupt West.

My question is: In what way are we better than self-righteous Islamic fascists who view the infidel West as the source of all evil? What right do we have to gloat over the corruption in the Ottoman Empire (which collapsed a hundred years ago and has thus been assigned to the dustbin of history) and cover up, even explain and justify our own criminal conduct?

 

*******************************

Friday, December 05, 2003

*******************************

Where there is an Armenian community there is also a matrix or network of power within which bishops rule in the name of God, benefactors in the name of Gold, and political bosses in the name of heroes and martyrs that have acquired mythological status like characters in Homer. Such concepts as the will of the people, the rule of law, accountability, and respect for fundamental human rights are reduced to irrelevance. Gone are the days when our intellectuals fearlessly analyzed and exposed our leaders as cynical opportunists and charlatans.

*

Where intellectuals are marginalized to the point of irrelevance, there will be control freaks and bullies who will denigrate anyone who dares not to parrot their propaganda line. And I cannot help wondering why is it these self-appointed guardians of our identity and culture refuse to read our major writers and share their understanding with us, instead of wasting their precious time reading and denigrating minor scribblers like myself.

*

If we are smart but not smart enough to solve our problems it may be because the solution to our problems has nothing to do with smarts and everything to do with honesty. It follows: our problems are not difficult. What's difficult is for dishonest man to admit dishonesty.

*

Losers are not born but made and self-made losers will have no difficulty in convincing themselves to be morally superior winners.

*

Whenever I see the photo of an Armenian writer

in the company of a boss or bishop,

I can't help thinking, "There goes the neighborhood."

*

Chinese saying: "When in a hurry, slow down."

*

A reader who insults me condemns himself to read everything I write (to make sure he was right to insult me)

and to see cryptic references to himself in almost everything I say.

*

The best comment on traditional values I remember to have read is by Churchill while in conversation with an admiral:

"Don't talk to me about naval tradition!

It's nothing but rum, sodomy and the lash!"

 

*********************************

Saturday, December 06, 2003

*********************************

A dishonest leadership will support and promote dishonest advisers, scholars and pundits who will concentrate their efforts on dehumanizing and demonizing the enemy and on covering up their own dishonesty.

*

A conflict cannot be resolved without compromise and compromise will be seen as a failing in an environment that deals only in sham certainties.

*

In the U.S. you have the heroes of September 11

and you also have the bloodsuckers of Enron.

It is the same with us. With one difference.

Our bloodsuckers continue to be in charge of our destiny.

*

In her READING CHEKHOV (New York, 2001),

Janet Malcolm devotes several pages

to a short story titled "The Beauties,"

whose central character is a 16-year old Armenian girl

of such dazzling beauty that

the narrator has a near-death experience.

Writes Chekhov (as quoted by Janet Malcolm):

"Whether it was envy of her beauty,

or that I was regretting that the girl was not mine,

and never would be,

or that I was a stranger to her;

or whether I vaguely felt that her rare beauty

was accidental, unnecessary, and, like everything on earth,

of short duration; or whether, perhaps,

my sadness was that peculiar feeling

which is excited in man

by the contemplation of real beauty, God only knows."

*

In his SAVAGE CHIC (Los Angeles, 2001), Kardash Onnig

describes a similar experience in the presence

of a 14-year old Armenian girl by the name of Nora:

"Her eyelashes moved up and down like butterflies," he writes, "her eyebrows met like Frida Kahlo's

and she had a soft smile and a voice

that could melt even my heart….

She stood there in the middle of the room

with a proud smile…tears filled my eyes [and]

through my tears I saw an angel thanking me."

And I can't help thinking that

whenever a friend of mine returns

after a visit to the Homeland a born again patriot

eager to dedicate his life to the welfare of his people

he is moved neither by the landscape

nor the deplorable conditions of his fellow countrymen

but by an angelic apparition similar to those

seen by Chekhov and Kardash.

*

To those who say I repeat myself:

Only if you insist on reading me - for which many thanks!

*

We speak too much of genocide and not enough of genosuicide. Genocide is what happened to us at the turn of the century in the Ottoman Empire. Genosuicide is what's happening to us today.

*

About national identity: the two most penetrating observations that I remember to have read are by Kafka and Romain Gary.

To the question "What do you share in common with Jews?" Kafka replied: "I don't even share anything in common with myself."

And Romain Gary, when asked by a French journalist, in what way his Jewish identity had influenced him, replied: "It changed the way I shit."

[Armat]

If*

The aim of our political leadership and the genocide industry they support and promote is to reform the mindset of present-day Turkish leaders.

The aim of our intellectuals (from Abovian to Zarian) has been to reform the mindset of our leaders.

Without knowing it, both our leaders and intellectuals share a common aim: to battle Ottomanism with words and ideas.

Obviously, a lose/lose proposition.

*

Hi Ara,happy holiday season.

Just out of curiosity what would be a win, win situation for Armenians.

[Twilight Bark]

if i had a choice between being a loser and winner,

i would choose being a winner.

if some armenians choose being losers

it's not because they were born losers but they were made losers.

i guess losers too are not born but made.

and when they realize they had no choice in the matter, they console themselves by saying they are morally superior.

but why is it that we could not be a morally superior empire?

 

Sorry, I missed this "indirect reply", since I usually check this thread when somebody other than Mr. Baliozian posts something.

 

The little snippet Mr. Baliozian wrote has such a high concentration of misconceptions, straw-man arguments, and incoherent thoughts that I really have to push myself to address it without brushing it aside.

 

The simple, obvious fact that the ancestors of today's Armenians have never been imperialistic has nothing to do with choosing to be losers. They did not choose to be losers. They chose to remain Armenian, and chose not to be imperialistic. Plenty of Armenians did choose to become imperialistic, by way of assimilating into the Turkish/Kurdish element. Plenty of Armenians are still making that choice by assimilating into their host cultures, and by buying into their new national mythology based on past (and sometimes present) "imperial" glory. What is the point of turning Armenians into yet another imperialistic culture, or lamenting that it has not been one? If it is the physical welfare of Armenians that is the issue, individual Armenians have always had the choice to be become imperialistic by simply assimilating into any one of the invading jerks. Look no farther than today's "imperialistic" Turks; they include millions of descendants of Armenians who did just that.

 

All too often, when a "reform-minded" Armenian opens his mouth, what comes out is some pathetic road-map explaining "how to become more Turkish than the Turks". Well, we always had that option, hadn't we? What's the point of becoming Turkish in all but name?

 

I readily accept that, in the "old days", becoming imperial was probably the best way for national survival, when the nation was constantly surrounded with (or often swallowed by) imperial powers. We somehow managed to squeak past total extermination despite our refusal to turn our culture into an imperialistic one. Today, however, it is both too late to take that route, and counterproductive by way of losing, yes, the "moral high ground". That we have, even if that made us "losers". If we turn away from it now, we will be losers AND pathetic, lousy thug-wannabes (much like the "geek" that wants to hang out with the "jocks"). That is not an improvement.

 

As for a benevolent empire. The United States is the only example one can possibly conjure up in that regard. Not only is the US a glaring "exception" because of it being founded on "ideals" rather than an ethnic group or the authority of a dynasty, but its history is full of hypocrisy, genocidal campaigns, utter disregard for human dignity, unabashed expansionism, and raw jingoism. While the US has been (mostly) a force for good for much of the 20th century till now, its founding, history, geography, and size makes it one of a kind. To suggest that today's Armenia can become a benevolent empire akin to the US is too ridiculous to be funny. As for the pointless lamentation about the past, the "best" that Armenians could do in their region and circumstances was to become more or less like the Turks (without genocide), Romans, or Persians. And many did. But that brings me back to the beginning of my argument.

[ara baliozian]

Monday, December 08, 2003

********************************

I once met a girl from Turkey who was fluent in Armenian but identified herself as a Turk probably because (I now guess) she thought among Armenians she would get more respect as a Turk than as a half-Armenian.

*

Honors, titles, popularity: I have none and I don't consider that fact a liability. I understand Sartre who rejected the Nobel Prize because he was afraid it would turn him into a pompous ass.

*

All tragedies begin with a happy ending.

*

We don't suffer from a scarcity of famous or wealthy or gifted men; we suffer from a scarcity of honest men.

Time can be a merciless critic. I'd rather have time on my side than a thousand yes-men, brown-nosers, flunkies, philistines, crackpots, and baloney artists.

*

When you hate you cannot reason; you can only destroy; and the first thing you destroy is your ability to reason.

*

Never brag about Armenian civilization,

but if you do, take care to do it in a civilized manner.

*

Never insult an Armenian writer:

being one is insult enough.

*

It is only natural for those who are part of the problem to pretend not to see the solution.

*

All political parties, regardless of nationality and ideology, have a tendency to promise more than they can deliver; sometimes they even promise heaven and deliver hell.

*

Anyone who is committed to an ideology or religion will have his own version of the past.

Believers are natural-born revisionists.

*

********************************

Tuesday, December 09, 2003

********************************

An Armenian will contradict you not because he disagrees with you but to show off his erudition and brilliance as a debater. I call this the David Anhaght complex, after one of our greatest medieval philosophers who was called "Invincible" because he never lost an argument. Every Armenian has heard about him but I have never met an Armenian who was familiar with any one of his ideas.

*

I came across a new word today, "dittoheads" - said of people who cannot think for themselves and are therefore condemned to recycle someone else's propaganda or verbal crapola.

*

Jules Renard: "Cyrano's tongue is longer than his nose."

Of how many of us it could be said that we have the tongue of giants but the brains of midgets.

*

During an argument with a fellow Armenian I am always tempted to ask: "Are we exchanging views or settling scores? And if you are settling a score, are you sure you have the right victim?"

*

Our literature may be dead but our book industry is very much alive sustained as it is by the vanity of our pseudo-intellectuals and the profit margins of our printers.

*

What if Abel had murdered Cain?

What if Armenians had committed genocide against the Turks?

The identity of the victims would have changed but the history of mankind would have remained the same.

*

Tyrants neither explain nor reason. They lie and threaten. Even when they say nothing they lie. Even the blank spaces between their lines and words are menacing. Even their punctuation marks thirst for blood.

*

Like all men, Armenians too have their good and bad sides,

but they reserve the worst when dealing with their own kind.

*

I have readers who hate me but love reading me,

only in the sense that Jack the Ripper loved the company of women.

*

*******************************

Wednesday, December 10, 2003

*******************************

Every snowflake has a solid nucleus which may be a speck of dust from a distant volcano, a Siberian coalmine, or the dried up dung from the Arabian desert. Remember that next time you allow a snowflake to melt on your tongue. And remember too that yellow snow is not caramelized snow.

*

The lightest body in the world: the woman you love.

The heaviest: the same woman you no longer love.

*

What could be more morally repellent than to use someone else's heroism to justify your own cowardice,

or someone else's honesty to cover up your own dishonesty,

or, as Zaroukian once put it, to lament about someone else's crucifixion even as you nail another to the cross?

*

The hatred of an Armenian for a Turk is rivaled only

by the contempt of an Armenian for another Armenian.

*

When a man ceases to love a woman, he puts the blame on the woman, never on his own judgment.

*

"You are a writer," some of my readers inform me, after which they issue directives, something they would never dare to do with a bus driver, a plumber, or a garbage collector.

*

Kurdish proverb: "Those who don't go to war

roar like lions."

*

Hebrew proverb: "He is great whose faults can be numbered."

[ara baliozian]

Just out of curiosity what would be a win, win situation for Armenians.

if they give up charlatanism and double-talk

and adopt honesty as a collective policy.

[ara baliozian]

Thursday, December 11, 2003

********************************

Armenian tourists in Yerevan are warned by their guide to be prepared to see some very strange things:

"…things that may disappoint you to the point of despair; and things that may astonish you to the point of exhilaration."

I am now quoting from Markar Sharabkhanian's recent book of travel impressions.

Here we also read the following lines from a local editorial:

"During the Soviet era the people were in a state of eternal slumber - they neither saw nor complained. Today, in a free and independent Armenia, they see as well as complain…but they continue to snooze -- this time around with eyes wide open. When will all this end? Will it ever?"

*

An apologist for the Establishment will tend to view all dissent and criticism as treason and betrayal. And vice versa. A critic will see in all apologists a collaborator with the forces of darkness -- be they Ottoman, Soviet or Armenian.

In the Ottoman and Soviet eras our establishment types collaborated with the enemy "to save the nation" -- or so they said to cover up the fact that their number one concern was number one. Today, their successors in Yerevan speechify and sermonize to cover up the same obvious fact. Plus ca change plus c'est la meme merde.

*

As for our pundits and academics who are fully aware of what's going on but prefer to deliver lectures on medievalism and massacrism: they do so because if they were to come to grips with today's reality their podiums may be yanked from under their feet and they may be cast into an abyss of anonymity. In other words: they'd rather be part of the same merde than relinquish even a tiny fraction of their privileges.

*

Our history has shaped our character (negarakir)

and our character has shaped our destiny (jagadakir).

Raffi was wrong when he said "Treason and betrayal are in our blood."

No such thing is in our blood or DNA -- if only because there is no DNA for treason and betrayal. Everything begins and ends in the convolutions of our brains. Which means we are free to change our character and destiny. Whether we will do so or not remains to be seen.

"When will all this end? Will it ever?"

*

But perhaps we shouldn't complain too much. After all, we live in a world where Christ was crucified, Socrates poisoned, Gandhi assassinated, and as recently as mere decades ago, millions of innocent civilians were murdered simply because they belonged to this or that tribe, nation or race. We should feel privileged indeed for being alive. Perhaps we should get used to the idea that the greatest privilege our fellow men can bestow on us is to allow us to die of natural causes.

*

Speaking of DNA:

I no longer think of Armenians and Turks as nations apart but as fractions of mankind that share in common 99% of their DNA. As for the balance of 1%: I ascribe it to Original Sin (present in all of us) exacerbated by propaganda (ditto). The Turks hated and massacred us because they were misled by their propaganda; and we hate them today because we refuse to see this obvious fact.

*

Why is it that all crimes against humanity are committed in the name of a noble idea: Allah, justice, patriotism….

*

Sister Mary de Lourdes: "Every bigot was once a child free of prejudice."

*

Olaf Stapleton: "A nation is just a society for hating foreigners."

*

Tyrants are not afraid of writers,

only of being exposed as liars.

*

********************************

Friday, December 12, 2003

********************************

The main reason of Armenian alienation and assimilation in the Diaspora is not social and historical conditions beyond our control (as I was brought up to believe) but other Armenians, and more particularly, Armenians who lack political consciousness to such a degree that they are fascists and don't know it, very much like Moliere's character who spoke prose and didn't know it.

*

I am not even remotely tempted to use words that were not used by Homer, the Bible, Shakespeare and Chekhov - words like dichotomy and deconstruction for instance - and whenever I hear someone else using them, I lose interest in what follows.

*

More on our pundits and academics:

Their stated aim is to enlighten the masses; their unstated aim: to show off their erudition and intellectual superiority. Hence, the astonishing ease with which they reject or question all ideas that do not fit into their narrow range of sentiments and thoughts, which they assume to be the alpha and omega of human wisdom. I have heard relative nonentities without a single original idea in their heads reject Marx, Freud, Spengler, Toynbee, Sartre and Jung as if they were dealing with misguided dupes.

*

William James: "A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices."

*

What's the difference between a Turkish and an Armenian audience? I don't know what a Turkish audience is like because I never had one, but if you want to know what an Armenian audience is like, imagine a Turkish audience.

*

With every book I publish, I acquire a new friend and lose two old ones. Any day now the number of my readers will bear a negative sign.

*

I feel most alone when in the company of my fellow Armenians.

*

*******************************

Saturday, December 13, 2003

*********************************

The absence of God plays a more important role in the life of atheists than the existence of God in the life of most believers - judging by the way they live.

*

Is it humanly possible to ignore or forget the truth after hearing it?

*

According to an old Chinese saying: "Those who make idols don't believe in them." The same applies to our sermonizers and speechifiers, who, very much like merchants, deal in certain commodities not because they believe in them but because there is a demand for them.

*

Jules Renard: "We are down here to laugh. We won't be able to in purgatory or in hell; and in heaven, it may not be considered good manners."

*

Lacordaire: "We talk plainly only to those we love."

*

We cannot experience all of reality, only a tiny fraction of it, so tiny in fact that it might as well be invisible to the naked eye. It is only by sharing our experiences and thoughts with others that we may acquire a better understanding of the world. And to say "my experience is pure gold but yours counterfeit" is the source of all ignorance, prejudice, intolerance, arrogance, and fanaticism.

*

My definition of bliss: The awareness that one is no longer dependent on the charity of swine and on the approval of dupes.

*

Giambattista Vico: "Crowded city life produces men who are unbelievers, who regard money as the measure of all things, and who lack moral qualities, particularly modesty…. Emancipated from ethics generally,

they live by mutual spying and deceit."

*

I don't look for enemies; they find me.

*

While reading Markar Sharabkhanian's deeply felt travel impressions of Armenia wherein there is a great deal of talk about homeland and dedication to patriotic principles and ideals, I am reminded of Goethe's dictum: "Homeland is where a man is allowed to work and provide for his family"; and what the Irish are fond of saying about Ireland: "It's a good place to die."

*

In our local paper today I read about a man who was found guilty of abducting, beating, raping and killing a five-year old girl. On hearing his sentence (25 years imprisonment), he is reported to have said: "I am a sick man, I should be sent to hospital not prison." I agree, provided he also agrees there is only one way for him to prove he has regained his sanity and that is by committing suicide. I can't imagine any sane man living in peace with that kind of crime on his conscience.

*

All neighborhoods are tough if you don't know the rules of their games.

*

There is something fundamentally wrong in an environment where those with fat bellies adopt a morally superior stance.

*

Jules Renard: "The sleep of the just? But who says the just can sleep?"

*

Turks hate us because they have been brainwashed to believe we are giaours with evil designs on their homeland.

Why does an Armenian hate another Armenian?

Who brainwashed him?

For what purpose?

Explain that and you will expose the roots of our tribalism.

*

To think, to really think, means to go beyond the boundaries of the already thought.

[Yeznig]

My lamentation is that the Armenian intellectual scene is so arid and sterile that an utter mediocrity appears to many as a modern-day prophet.

Well put indeed. Any perusal of our contemporary press shows this to be the case. Mind you, one can say so with equal correctness when speaking about the vast bulk of the Canadian or US press too. Controlled by people of money honest intellectuals are driven into corners. But let us not despair. For those intellectuals driven into the margins do not despair either. The best, instead like Baouyr Sevak announce that:

 

If around me all is darkness

I shall flare and sparkle for my fellow men and women

Hurling myself to the ground

I shall block the path of despair.'

[ara baliozian]

Sunday, December 14, 2003

**********************************

Sophia Loren to Vittorio de Sica in an American movie titled IT HAPPENED IN NAPLES: "You are not a lawyer, you are a pig!"

Vittorio de Sica (offended): "But a man can be a lawyer and a pig at the same time."

*

I don't write about Armenians even when I write about them. I write about human beings, subservience and liberation.

*

Feminists are right when they say there is a pig in all men. What about feminists themselves?

According to Camille Paglia, feminists are "desensualized, desexualized, neurotic women, who, displacing their personal problems with sex on to society, purvey an appalling diet of cant, drivel and malarkey."

*

The dialogue between men and women boils down to an exchange of grunts and malarkey. Hence, their inability to reach a consensus.

Where there is no dialogue or dialectic, there will be no synthesis.

*

You see, even when I write about pigs and malarkey, I write about us and our failure to liberate ourselves from the shackles of the past.

*

Most of us are satisfied by the tiny corner of reality we have experienced and when we contradict or reject another's testimony, what we mean to say is: "My reality is everything, your reality nothing!"

*

It is not only the West that speaks with a forked tongue but also our own institutions when they promote nationalism and practice tribalism. The same applies to religions and ideologies that preach tolerance and practice fanaticism thus legitimizing criminal conduct.

*

It never pays to go down into the gutter to prove you are right and your adversary wrong. If you are right, let the evidence speak for itself. If you are wrong, why compound the felony?

*

******************************

Monday, December 15, 2003

*******************************

The last book Tolstoy read ten days before he died was THE BROTHERS KARAMAZOV.

*

If I were a rich man I would share my wealth.

I would be a benefactor. I would be popular. I would make headlines in our weeklies. I would count among my friends nine bishops, three archbishops, two patriarchs and at least one catholicos. I would sport medals identifying me as a Nakharar of Vaspourakan, a Sparabed of Avarair, a Prince of Cilicia, a King of Armenia and an Emperor of Transcaucasia. (Have you noticed that even people who hate reading fiction, love living in it!)

But these are things that are destined to remain beyond my wildest dreams. As an overworked and underpaid scribbler, all I have to share now is my misery .

*

A wise man is shaped by what he understands,

a fool by what he cannot understand.

*

Chauvinism overestimates a tribe, a nation, or let's say, a fraction of mankind and underestimates the rest and, in doing so, it misunderstands the world and everyone in it.

*

If you want to know more about a political party, speak to its opposition, because everything a partisan says will be contaminated by partisan propaganda.

*

When an Armenian writes about Turks, and vice versa - when a Turk writes about Armenians - they behave like sermonizers preaching to the converted.

*

There are two kinds of partisans: the idealists and the opportunists. The idealists join a party because they want to serve the people. The opportunists join a party because that's where the power is. And because opportunists are by definition unprincipled, cunning and ruthless, they will either eliminate the idealists or use them as front men

*

****************************

Tuesday, December 16, 2003

*******************************

All closed systems of thought - be they religions or ideologies - promote intolerance even when they preach fraternity, equality, love, compassion and mercy.

*

I am a stranger in a strange land even when I find myself in the company of my fellow Armenians. Even? Make it, especially!

*

The rich are greedy. They are not satisfied with the money they have. They want to be happy too.

*

Money and power might as well be interchangeable units. They will attract the greedy and the unprincipled as surely as excrement attracts flies.

 

Wednesday, December 17, 2003

*********************************

By tribalizing the nation, our political leadership has failed to nationalize it. If we see the future as an extension of the past or if we judge the future by past experience, we shall have to admit that optimism in our case is not a virtue but an aberration motivated by wishful thinking.

*

The problems with speechifiers is that even when they whisper they speechify; even when they reflect in silence and solitude they engage in thundertalk (borodakhosioutiun).

*

You cannot trust the solution to a problem to those who created the problem or to those who profit by the problem. The first will never admit the existence of the problem and the second will never do anything against their own interests.

*

A fanatic is one who thinks if he screams loud enough no one will notice the total absence of meaning in his words.

*

A partisan defending a fellow partisan is like a wolf defending another wolf to an audience of sheep.

*

An idealist who allows himself to be used by opportunists is either an honest dupe or a cynic.

*

To those who accuse me of being undiplomatic,

I say: No one is paying me to lie.

*

Where liars are in charge, honesty is seen as treason.

*

If you say something remotely intelligent,

you will be contradicted by imbeciles.

*

Vast distances are conveyed to my mind less by astronomical calculations in light years than by the distance that exists between what an Armenian thinks he is and what he really is.

[ara baliozian]

Thursday, December 18, 2003

*********************************

Every tribe and nation has its share of heroes who, in the eyes of their enemies, are no better than serial killers.

*

A question about the sacred soil of our beloved Homeland: In what way is our mud different from Azeri, Georgian, or Turkish mud?

*

Armenian saying: "It is easy to lust for fame,

much harder to achieve greatness."

*

Another episode from Markar Sharabkhanian's

RETURN TO THE HOMELAND:

When on seeing a large reproduction of Stalin at a flea market, the author is unable to disguise his astonishment bordering on shock, he is told by the annoyed vendor: "This, my dear sir, is not meant for gentlemen tourists like yourself but for card-carrying members of the Communist Party."

The author comments:

"Unfortunately, these characters exist and continue to operate in Yerevan and elsewhere, and not always behind the scenes either. Driven by nostalgia, they like to reminisce endlessly about the good old days…."

Unfortunately, we have this type here too - I mean in the Diaspora, and I mean Stalinists of both the neo- and crypto- variants - gentlemen who accuse you of McCarthyism if you dare to say anything remotely critical of Bolshevism.

*

Elsewhere in Markar's book, when someone counts twelve guests around the dinner table, and says something to the effect that, all is now needed is a Jesus Christ, someone else comments: "It may not be so easy locating a Christ in Armenia."

And I could not help reflecting: "A Judas, on the other hand…."

*

It is widely known among citizens of a democracy

that politics is the second oldest profession

and that in many ways it resembles the first.

Fascists agree but they think this does not apply to fascism.

Which amounts to saying,

"Our bordello madams, unlike yours, are virgins."

*

No two leaves of grass, grains of sand, and flakes of snow are alike. Neither are two human beings. We, all of us, can contribute a different perspective and in doing so widen our horizons and develop our powers of perception.

Intolerance maims our humanity and narrows our horizons. It is a form of self-castration.

*

If we were to define good as anything that enhances the brotherhood of all men, and evil as anything that legitimizes the opposite disposition, we shall have to conclude that there is something evil in all forms of tribalism, nationalism, patriotism, chauvinism, racism and orthodoxy.

*

To recycle propaganda means to allow others to do your thinking for you; which also means to abdicate your responsibility as a human being and to repudiate one of the most precious gifts God or the forces of the universe have granted you: your brain.

*

The evil is not Turkish, German, Italian, or Russian fascism; but fascism, period! including Armenian fascism.

*

A reader writes that my writings give him a headache.

I could make a long list of Armenian writers who were starved, murdered, and committed suicide.

What's a little headache?

*

*********************************

Saturday, December 20, 2003

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To a diehard partisan ideologue or man of faith, all political parties and religions, except his own, are based on deceit and their sole aim is to swindle the ignorant masses.

I call this "the mullah complex."

*

It's easy to have all the answers if you don't ask the right questions.

*

If you are weak, negotiate.

If you are desperate, terrorize.

*

The mightiest weapon against visible as well as invisible dragons is common sense.

*

Failure is nature's way of letting us know we may be on the wrong path.

*

A reader once accused me of dehumanizing my fellow Armenians. Whereas one of my most frequent reproaches to myself is that again and again I have attempted to humanize them by seeking to reason with them and again and again I have been disappointed, insulted, torn to shreds, and cannibalized.

*

The Diaspora is sometimes thought of as a destroyer of Armenianism. But as an Armenian born and raised in the Diaspora, I don't feel in any way threatened by odar values. I wish I could say the same about Armenian values - or values that parade under the label of Armenianism.

*

Nigoghos Sarafian: "Our history is a litany of lamentation, anxiety, horror, and massacre. Also deception and abysmal naivete mixed with the smoke of incense and the sound of sacred chants."

I should like to see one of our professors or vodanavorjis produce such a sentence!

*

When the eyes see but the brain does not register, the eyes might as well be blind.

*

******************************

Saturday, December 20, 2003

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It is only our degraded present condition

that allows us to brag about our glorious past.

*

Chauvinism: a false sense of superiority that is the surest symptom of real inferiority. It is by exposing and combating this inferiority that we may achieve the brotherhood of all men, be they Jews and Arabs, Armenians and Turks, Patagonians and Hottentots.

*

There are as many versions of the past

as there are nations, tribes, religions, ideologies, and historians.

Only God knows what happened and why,

but so far He has refused to share His version with us.

Even when two historians agree on the facts

they will disagree on their interpretations.

*

If two historians agreed on everything,

one of them would be redundant.

*

Mirabeau on Talleyrand: "He would sell his soul for money,

and he would be right, for he would be exchanging dung for gold."

*

Faith can remove only those mountains that were raised by our own fears, ignorance, and doubts.

*

May I confess that I don't always read my critics. It is painful in the extreme reading thoughts that I entertained as a child but rejected when I became an adult.

*

Great nations speak big lies;

small nations speak bigger lies.

*

Propaganda is a plant that needs the manure of rhetoric.

*

Jean Rostand: "There are great many people whom I should be tempted to ask before listening to them: Is it you who are about to speak, or are you planning to play me a propaganda record?"

*

One may predict the actions of an intelligent man but not those of a fool. That's because logic is predictable, lunacy is not.

*

A problem has only one correct solution but countless wrong ones.

*

If so far we have failed to apply the correct solution (honesty/solidarity) to our central problem (charlatanism/fragmentation) it's because we have allowed our lunatic fringe to take over the leadership of the nation.

*

No one is beyond redemption, granted; and it is possible for some fools to see the light; but not for fools who have assessed themselves as just about the smartest operators in the world.

*

To those of my readers who demand solutions, I ask:

Are you sure that's what you want?

What if what you really have in mind is only a verbal formula or incantation that will transform a self-satisfied jackass to a philosopher?

Because, if that's what you are after, my answer to you is: Sorry, my good friend, I am not in the abracadabra business.

*

If what you say makes sense,

let your words speak louder than your emotions.

[ara baliozian]

Sunday, December 21, 2003

****************************

When it comes to murder, it's "cherchez la femme."

But when it comes to controversies in multicultural environments like Canada and the U.S., it's more likely to be "cherchez ethnic rivalries."

Cases in point:

Whenever a Turk says anything remotely kind about Turkey in our local paper, a Greek, Kurd or Armenian is sure to expose him as a liar in the next issue.

*

One reason Camille Paglia hates feminists is that she is Italian and most feminists in the U.S. are spoiled Jewish princesses.

*

As recently as three weeks ago, the German conductor of our orchestra was fired by the mainly Anglo-Saxon board of directors. The German community (about 40% of the population here) rose to the maestro's defense by writing dozens of angry letters to the editor. The board recanted and invited the maestro back from Berlin at its own expense. The maestro came, insulted the board, and was fired all over again.

One could says that World War I and World War II were fought all over again here and again the Allies prevailed.

*

I just finished Markar Sharabkhanian's RETURN TO THE HOMELAND, a compulsively readable travelogue with candid close-up views of many places and people - from opulent villas in suburbs to humble cottages in remote valleys; from presidents and bishops to beggars and floozies; and from first-rate intellectuals (marginalized in the Homeland and ignored in the Diaspora) to second rate vodanavorjis (versifiers) in important political positions in the capital.

*

A curious detail: Armenians, it seems, don't have a word for corruption, or, if they do, they don't use it. What they say is "corrooptsia," which sounds even more shady in its Russian variant. And corrooptsia, very much like Mark Twain's weather, is something everyone talks about but no one does a damn thing.

We too have corrooptsia here in the Diaspora, of course, but we also have a vociferous contingent of hirelings who rise to the defense of their sources of income whenever anyone dares to mention the word.

Why should things be different there?

*

*****************************

Monday, December 22, 2003

*******************************

While reading NAPOLEON'S EXPEDITION TO RUSSIA: THE MEMOIRS OF GENERAL DE SEGUR, I am reminded of a recent commentary by my good friend Ben Bagdikian pointing out parallels between Bush and Napoleon on the one hand, and on the other, Saddam's Iraq and Czar Alexander's Russia.

The parallels are there, no doubt, but the dissimilarities are even more glaring.

In his youth and inexperience, Bush is more like the Czar; and in his megalomania, Saddam is more like Napoleon - minus the Corsican's military genius, of course.

Napoleon was defeated by Russia's vast distances and severe winters - conditions that are absent in Iraq.

Even more to the point, the democratically elected and popular President of the mightiest military power in the world today invaded a relatively small, backward, and tribal country ruled by a ruthless dictator hated by the majority of his own people.

*

****************************

Tuesday, December 23, 2003

****************************

In his new biography of Glenn Gould, Kevin Bazzana writes that Gould revolutionized the Russian musical landscape by introducing not only J.S. Bach (ignored until then as a purely religious composer) but also Shoenberg, Berg, Webern and Krenek (condemned under Stalin as "formalists").

*

In NATASHA'S DANCE: A CULTURAL HISTORY OF RUSSIA, Orlando Figes writes that Tolstoy, a born-again Christian (long before the expression became fashionable in America) rejected the divinity of Christ, for which reason he was excommunicated by the Russian Orthodox Church and received many death threats by the Russian lunatic fringe.

Further down we read that Nabokov's loathing of Communism was such that he even supported McCarthy and the war in Vietnam.

Nabokov also denigrated both Basternak and Solzhenitsyn probably because, Figes suggests, they were awarded the Nobel Prize and he wasn't. It should be noted, however, that Nabokov also belittled many others, not all of them Nobelists - among them, Dostoevsky, Freud, Mann, Rilke, Faulkner, and Hemingway.

*

The Talmud: "Silence is good for the wise,

how much more so for the foolish."

*

G.B. Shaw: "You'll never have a quiet world till you knock the patriotism out of the human race."

[ara baliozian]

Wednesday, December 24, 2003

*********************************************

If a flock of sheep are devoured by a pack of wolves,

who is to blame?

The wolves or the shepherds?

*

The aim of all nationalist historians is to un-ring a bell.

*

If an American Indian were to write a history of the United States, will it enjoy the imprimatur of the White House?

*

"The Armenians are our Indians," a Turkish diplomat is quoted as having stated during a visit to the White House, during which the question of the Armenian Genocide had been raised.

*

Pity the scumbag whose role models were white trash.

*

Mullahs disapprove of American movies because they show scantily dressed females. But they themselves promise their sexually famished teenagers 73 compliant virgins in heaven if they die while engaged in killing infidels.

Who is more guilty of sexploitation: Yankee producers or Arab imams?

*

I may react to an honest disagreement but not to an insult. How does one react to an insult without going down to the gutter where the other has the advantage?

*

Once in a while I am reminded that I am wasting my time because Armenian leaders (the perennial targets of my criticism) don't give a damn about what a writer thinks or says, Isn't that the same mistake that was committed by French kings and Russian czars?

*

It is to be noted that neither the French nor the Russian Revolution was a purely national episode. It was, if anything, a human manifestation.

I tremble to think what will happen to our leadership on the day Armenians shed their inbred subservience, recover their humanity and reach the realization that despotism is not an inevitable fact of life.

*

********************************

Thursday, December 25, 2003

*********************************

In defense of a politician, a reader writes: "It's easy for you to say: you are only a writer" - as if writers were in the habit of speaking lies and calling them promises.

*

Who is to say how much we owe to our blunders?

*

Glenn Gould counted among his fans Stravinsky, Samuel Beckett, Roland Barthes and Leonard Bernstein (who once said he had almost had an orgasm while listening to him play). But the greatest tribute to his genius as an interpreter of Bach came from Sviatoslav Richter, who, after hearing him play the Goldberg Variations in Moscow in 1957, decided then and there never to include that piece in his repertoire.

*

Zarian thought a writer could be truly creative only in his own homeland; and yet, his most productive years were spent in Istanbul, Paris, Venice, Milan, New York and Beirut, and his most arid years in Yerevan.

*

An Armenian poet once bragged to me that he had reached the age of fifty and was still alive, and that, among Armenian poets, that was no mean accomplishment. What he failed to add was that he had survived only in his own mind. Since Armenians as a whole remained unaware of his existence, he might as well be dead and buried. After all, there is more than one way to kill a poet and ignoring him can be as effective as a bullet in the neck.

*

One reason there are atheists is that

there are believers who behave like swine.

*

Where there are sermonizers and speechifiers there will be scapegoats; and where there are scapegoats there will be victimizers who consider themselves morally superior.

*

Armenians with full bellies preach hatred of the Turks; but hungry Armenians emigrate to Istanbul where they have a better chance to avoid starvation.

*

The trouble with superpatriotic Armenians is that they love only Armenians who agree with them. The rest, they dismiss as trash.

*

Fascists silence writers because they are fully aware of the fact that in the realm of ideas they are destined to lose. Censorship is an admission of defeat.

*

********************************

Friday, December 26, 2003

********************************

To test my loyalty as a Canadian citizen,

a loud-mouth coworker once demanded of me:

"If Canada were to declare war against Rumania…or is it Aramaea?"

"Armenia," I corrected him.

"Whatever….Would you be willing to fight?"

To which I remember to have replied:

"If I were to say, yes, I would be more than willing to invade my homeland and slaughter my fellow countrymen, I assume I would then qualify as a good Canadian in your eyes. But my question to you is, Would I also qualify as a decent human being?"

*

In an environment or medium like the internet that allows one to be anonymous and invisible, even the most cowardly may engage in daring verbal assaults. One could even say that, nothing comes more naturally to a faceless coward than to behave like a brazen bully and to use his inaccessibility as a license to kill - if not literally than metaphorically.

*

In a biographical sketch of Baruir Massikian (1914-1990) I read: "In 1946 he prepared a 320-page manuscript titled A STORY ABOUT GOOD AND EVIL, which he submitted to a literary contest. But because the award was given to a partisan hack, he tore the manuscript to shreds. Armenian literature thus lost a work that judging by his other published works could not have been without merit."

*

Matthew Arnold once defined poetry as "criticism of life." By that he meant that, when a poet speaks of life in poetic terms, his hidden message is: "This is the way life ought to be but isn't!"

*

******************************

Saturday, December 27, 2003

*******************************

One of the most frequently raised questions or counter-arguments against those who adopt a critical stance is: There are so many positive things about Armenia and Armenians: why concentrate on the negative?

I call this the "Red Sylva" argument because I first came across it in an article written by Sylva Gaboudikian (also KAPUTikian) in response to an Armenian-American tourist who had complained about the unbearable stench of Yerevan latrines. In her vitriolic retort, Red Sylva demanded to know: "How can anyone think of latrines after viewing the awesome grandeur of Mount Ararat?"

I wonder if anyone dared to ask Red Sylva: But what's so hard about maintaining sanitary washrooms? Is it conceivable that you find stench so edifying that you have no wish to abolish it?

*

I am reminded of Erasmus of Rotterdam who once remarked: "Everyone loves the stench of his own excrement." Please note that even Erasmus did not go as far as saying: Since I enjoy my own stench, you should too! And yet, this is exactly what the Red Sylva argument demands that we do.

*

Another widely used argument à la Red Sylva goes something like this: "Corruption is universal. Where there are human beings, there will be corruption. If you want to expose corruption and criticize corrupt officials, criticize the world and human nature and leave Armenians alone!"

Yes, yes! There is corruption everywhere. Corruption is universal. But what is even more universal is the desire to expose and combat it. If you are for corruption, say so and don't use human nature as a justification or extenuating circumstance. Murder and rape are universal too and as old as mankind. How would you feel if someone you love were raped or murdered and at the trial of the guilty party, his lawyer said: "My client pleads not guilty, your Honor, on the grounds that murder and rape are universal and as old as mankind"?

Nothing further.

*

The message of all dissidents of all ages

may be abridged thus:

The emperor has no duds,

no dick,

no balls,

and no brains.

*

Solzhenitsyn once said:

"No regime has ever loved great writers,

only minor ones."

He should have said:

No regime has ever loved literature,

only recycled crap.

Or even better:

No tyrant has ever loved honest men,

only brown-nosers.

*

The greatest enemy of patriotism

is not treason but objectivity.

*

If Armenians are smart,

why is it that there are a great many alienated and assimilated Armenians out there

(85% according to some estimates)

who don't think it's smart being Armenian?

*

I write for the toughest audience there is, namely, Armenians who hate to read and

Armenians who verbally massacre anyone who fails to parrot their sentiments and thoughts.

I refer to these gentlemen as Armenians but it would be more accurate to qualify them as

more royalist than the king,

more Catholic than the Pope,

more Bolshevik than Stalin,

and more magnificent than Suleiman.

[Armat]

If I said nice posts Ara then I am reminded often when people say nice colors Armat as though I am in the business of interior decorating.

Anyway I am reading you and taking in what I can. I often feel stupid, ignorant in a good way, by pretending to know it all is a good sign of a hypocrite. Come to think about it we do have lot of experts in all fields Armenian related and yet we still have thousands of Armenians immigrating out of Armenia.

[ara baliozian]

If I said nice posts Ara then I am reminded often when people say nice colors Armat as though I am in the business of interior decorating.

Anyway I am reading you and taking in what I can. I often feel stupid, ignorant in a good way, by pretending to know it all is a good sign of a hypocrite. Come to think about it we do have lot of experts in all fields Armenian related and yet we still have thousands of Armenians immigrating out of Armenia.

dear friend:

frankly, i can't tell if your comment is an expression of agreement or disagreement.

please enlighten a poor benighted scribbler.

thanks. / ara

[Armat]

Yes Ara I am in agreement with your last posts.Lately I am having a hard time of even having an opinion.I guess it is true that more one knows more one feels how little he knows.