lady of grace Posted February 11, 2003 Report Share Posted February 11, 2003 Guys, I have a personal story to share, and I would appreciate positive & wise comments. No sarcasm or criticism, b/c I'm sensitive. Please! Well… I had a B/F for almost two years. For the first time in my life, I had the feeling of love. We both believed that we were born for each other. To a point I would tell him, that I don’t want to have kids from him, so I would never love another creature more then I love him. Well. Some months ago, he had a emotional brake-down, and I couldn’t understand why. Then he told me the truth and I wish I never discovered. I won’t go detailed, but the hurt, the betrayal from someone else, slowly destroyed his emotions, to a point that he blocked his heart to the world and to me. I kept inspiring, giving hope, motivating him, but he would feel suffocated. So I realized I need to let him go. Its been almost 2 weeks, no news from him. His family and friends called me and told me that I was the best thing that ever happened to him, just wait for him, and he’ll come-back to you. Well, the saying out of site, out of heart. I’m going through tough times but I’m strong enough & won’t brake. And I constantly try to control my heart. Some experience! Good one, ha. Sound like a novel, but, well.. Now I believe in destiny. Some things you can’t control in life, no matter how tough you are. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azat Posted February 11, 2003 Report Share Posted February 11, 2003 Hello Lady and welcome to HyeForum. I will not pretend to know much about love or anything to be able to give you advice on it. I personally am not a believer in the theory of "if they love you they will come back" or anything like that. I think that you should not not contact him and hope that someday he realizes what is going on and comes back, I think you keep in touch and if he still does not want to come back you move on. He is not the last fish in the pond, I am sure there are many who will be as good for you and many will even be better. Good luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THOTH Posted February 11, 2003 Report Share Posted February 11, 2003 Give him a call - talk it out. But yu must ultimatly decide what is best for you. Also - you seem like your going somewhat overboard - not having children statement - etc...and why would loving your children make you love him any less - etc etc. I would be careful if I were you and try to stay more balanced - otherwise you are in for many more deep hurts. You must think of yuourself and realize that life offers much - a wide array of joys - do not become too obsessed with any one thing or any one person. it is possible to love someone without taking it too far - which it seems to me you have done. Good luck & take care. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THOTH Posted February 11, 2003 Report Share Posted February 11, 2003 Funny - you have been given opposite advice by Azat & myself. Call/do not call. I would say do not call if you are truly ready to let go. If not - then one has to try to communicate - no? There is nothing wrong with being the one to make the first move. Sometimes neither makes the move and oppurtunity is lost. But as Azat states he is not the only fish in the sea (and I do not buy this destiny of love thing - it is mostly you I think - who is a very caring person and can probably love easily). You sound young. You must realize that we all change with the passage of time and experience. You have a whole world/life ahead of you. Do not be sad. (I will not be sad in this world no more today) (did I get it right?) And if you really want to make someones day - ask Azat for his phone number/eamil or such....(joke) Again take care - no worries.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azat Posted February 11, 2003 Report Share Posted February 11, 2003 No Thoth, we both gave the same advice. I think she should call as well. I said "I think that you should not not contact him and hope that someday he realizes what is going on and comes back, I think you keep in touch and if he still does not want to come back you move on." I know it is a double negative and confusing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azat Posted February 12, 2003 Report Share Posted February 12, 2003 Dear lady, I guess I am having a hard time understanding why you just do not want to call him. Are you afraid of pushing the guy and getting some kind of an answer from him. I guess I am one of those people who likes to have answers asap, and while I know that is not the best in all conditions i do believe sitting and waiting is not the kind of games I enjoy playing. Please don't get me wrong, but is seems like you guys are in some type of a game(it's his turn, now it's my turn). If you were truly the best thing for him like his family and friends have told you than you call him and see what;s up. If he does not want to be with you then you move on with your life. And if in the future he ever comes back and you are still available you can see him again at that time with the understanding that he is emotionally not stable and he may leave you again in a 2 year period after that.* Dr. Phil, err, sorry I mean Azat --------* - relationship advice should be take from Azat only after knowing that he has been a total failure in life and love. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hyebruin Posted February 12, 2003 Report Share Posted February 12, 2003 hi lady sounds like you're on the right track! love hurts and it stinks, but i've always discovered over and over again that it (love) always always resides within and it's only the illusion that it is out there because it is shared with someone else...that doesn't mean that that other person does not love 'us'...it just means that we can experience love regardless of who is or is not in our lives:) i'm at a point right now, where i do not take b.s. from guys...i know what i want and what i need and if someone else's schedule/life/carreer/goals/mental&emotional state are not in harmony with what is good for me...then as our dear wise Azat said:'there are many more fish in the sea!'good luck, and i know you'll be fine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sip Posted February 12, 2003 Report Share Posted February 12, 2003 I really didn't understand what happened so I can't say much. At this point, it seems to me someone hurt him thus he has closed himself off and doesn't want to go through the same thing again. If so, there's not much you can do. Only he can change that belief in his head. All you can do, is to remind him how good things are with you than without you (assuming things were good with you in his life). As far as "destiny" of love ... no such thing. Sure, I probably have no chance with a Pamela Anderson, no matter how hard I try. But that's not destiny! That's just how things are (I wouldn't call it destiny). As far as you two, the future is not written in stone. Some may argue otherwise, but I am not convinced it's so. Otherwise, life would be fairly pointless, don't you think? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Accelerated Posted February 12, 2003 Report Share Posted February 12, 2003 This sux, I got so much to say, but I cant because of this: quote:I would appreciate positive & wise comments. No sarcasm or criticism, b/c I'm sensitive. Please! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lady of grace Posted February 12, 2003 Author Report Share Posted February 12, 2003 Thanks guys!Well.. I might have sounded vulnerable and too obsessive. But trust me I know what’s up. Before I met him, there were lots of men that touched my life, but not my heart. Now I don’t want to sound I’ve dated right and left, but I well understood any man’s nature. I could sense them right away what they’re all about and want from me, and they never been good enough (personality, intellect, looks) for me to get in a relationship. Well then he just reached to the bottom of my soul, where no one has ever been before. We were really compatible. Not very many people meet and click the way we did. And no, I will not call him. Because I stated the fact that its better if we stay apart, because he’ll be better off without me.. So he didn’t take this as a brake-up. He said maybe we need a BRAKE, to see what we want to do in life.. And I told him. I will be the way I used to be only if you are truly ready to value me. And that child thing, come-on, of course I will have kids. Its just there were times that my feelings were so stimulated, I would comment like that.. But overall we both were mature and new when and how to give space. Come-on, I wouldn’t pressure someone as much as I wouldn’t be pressured, then will take away the romance.. Free and happy, but wise and mature, attention, just enough to ask for more. And any man or woman, want their significant other always make them feel special, but then sometimes give doubts. If the relationship is too stable, its boring. Well… that’s it! Life goes on…and I’m not calling him. Its his call! And hope its not too late. Because feeling will go away eventually and it would be too late. And it would never be the same if he comes back.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lady of grace Posted February 12, 2003 Author Report Share Posted February 12, 2003 hyebruin Member Member # 469 posted February 11, 2003 07:04 PM --------------------------------------------------------------------------------hi lady sounds like you're on the right track! love hurts and it stinks, but i've always discovered over and over again that it (love) always always resides within and it's only the illusion that it is out there because it is shared with someone else... I totaly agree with you hyebruin. I knew all this before I met him. Trust me, never say never. You set standards in life and try to follow too hard. Also, you need to realize no one is perfect and once you get off the high horse, you'll start adjusting your high standards.I'm talking about myself, don't take it personaly. OK! getting too serious. Thank you Azat, Thoth, hyebruin, Sip, & Accelerated, you go ahead and tell me all you feel, I can handle it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gamavor Posted February 12, 2003 Report Share Posted February 12, 2003 Destiny is like topographic map. Your compass is your brain and the stars are your emotions. You are the one to choose your path. Just follow your instincts and your interests. Make sure that you know what you like and what you dislike, what you believe is good and what is bad and ultimately you will find your way. Love forgives everything! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lady of grace Posted February 12, 2003 Author Report Share Posted February 12, 2003 Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lady of grace Posted February 12, 2003 Author Report Share Posted February 12, 2003 I have to say your input into the phrase is very philosophical and sentimental. Your profile says you are a lawyer? (I've checked everyone's, don't take it personaly) Hmmmm, kind of misleading. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gamavor Posted February 12, 2003 Report Share Posted February 12, 2003 Well, Victoria's Secret products are misleading too, but as you can see I'm silent as a fish. The sole purpose of this "product" is to make the male part of the humanity to believe that what you see is what you will eventually get. That's a prime example of intentional fraud. Men's legitimate expectations are ruined and I hope the time will come when a class action suit will be filed on behalf of all victims of consumer protection regulations. PS: This is my own original Idea too:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lady of grace Posted February 12, 2003 Author Report Share Posted February 12, 2003 gamavor Member Member # 116 posted February 12, 2003 02:49 PM Men's legitimate expectations are ruined and I hope the time will come when a class action suit will be filed on behalf of all victims of consumer protection regulations. gamavor? you really got me started! Well there are guys who choose carefully and they get what they see, and both parties enjoy the product. One wears it, the other one takes it off My advice to you choose wisely. I know you can do it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gamavor Posted February 13, 2003 Report Share Posted February 13, 2003 ....last time when I was about to took it off, she said: " You are just like anybody else!" - and I said: "thank you for the complement". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lady of grace Posted February 13, 2003 Author Report Share Posted February 13, 2003 gamavor Member Member # 116 posted February 12, 2003 10:40 AM --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Destiny is like topographic map. Your compass is your brain and the stars are your emotions. You are the one to choose your path. Just follow your instincts and your interests. Make sure that you know what you like and what you dislike, what you believe is good and what is bad and ultimately you will find your way. Love forgives everything! BTW gamavor. whose words are these? Is this a plagiarism. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gamavor Posted February 13, 2003 Report Share Posted February 13, 2003 NO. The original idea might be found in the Hindu culture. There was a Russian psychologist who used the analogy with the topographic map to exemplify the importance of the human determination and right to choose. The rest are my original ideas. Muah:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lady of grace Posted February 13, 2003 Author Report Share Posted February 13, 2003 gamavor, that should teach you something. So, next time, actually tomorrow, you just watch and those products are made such that they won't be on your way of doing business Another thing, buy her the product! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QRISTINE Posted February 14, 2003 Report Share Posted February 14, 2003 Hargeli Lady of grace barov es ekel hyeforum. Kardalov ko patmutione es eka ain ezrakatsutian vor aintex voch mi vat ban chem gtnum zangelu mej.Ete du kartsum ek duk stextsvats ek erkust mimiants hamar inchu chportsel chanse, inchpes es haskatsa nerka drutiamb inqe djvar vichakum e du karox es linel ogtakar nran chisht e inchpes asvum e goiution uni naev chakatagir baits mezanits el e shat ban kaxvats nkati unem menk portselu undunakution unenek erb vor kiankum galis e aid pahe vor petk e portsel inchu apa chportsel?. Ete es linei ko depkum es kzangei nran kxordaktsei mi gutse na hima shat djvar mtatselakerpi mej e ev kportsei linei haskatsoxi derum. Ev inchpes arden du gites du sirvats ands es nra tsnoxneri ev enkerneri koxmits. Zangi xosir ev verjapes iroq shmartutione kparzvi inchpes asvum e hayerenum kexte jri tak chi mnum. Kez hajoxutuion em tsankanum iskakan sere kiankum trvum e mek angam ev ete du kartsum es vor gtel es apa charji kortsnele.Astvats kez het. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gamavor Posted February 14, 2003 Report Share Posted February 14, 2003 quote:Originally posted by lady of grace:smilies/lol.gif smilies/lol.gif smilies/lol.gif gamavor, that should teach you something. So, next time, actually tomorrow, you just watch and those products are made such that they won't be on your way of doing business Another thing, buy her the product! I quit spending money on women long time ago:) Actually, it happen when I first realized that ejaculation in female terms translates as orgasm! If I was wise enough to not spent money on women before that, by now I would have been able to buy a decent villa on the French riviera. Well, the last sentence was kind of exaggeration:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Varduhi Posted February 18, 2003 Report Share Posted February 18, 2003 quote: We both believed that we were born for each other If this is the case then he wouldnt leave you in the first place. so my advice to you is MOVE ON with your life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QRISTINE Posted February 21, 2003 Report Share Posted February 21, 2003 Hi Dear Varduhi, I have something that i would like to comment about. I truely have great respect for you and i know you are terrific person, but please don't use such diolog.I haven't been here lately so I just noticed. Please erase that for me. Thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lady of grace Posted February 21, 2003 Author Report Share Posted February 21, 2003 Qristine/Vardui..Thank you! Qristine... Thank you specially. All my life I lived with standards and now, even things are quiet and mellow b/w us, and I control my emotions well, for some reason, my instincts tell me just wait. Well.. We spoke about a week ago and been in contact since then. But its a totaly different stage. I was there for him, like you said, gave him emotional comfort. Its interesting, its seems a new beginning. I don't know. I'm cool and whatever will be, let it be. Of course I'll be wise about it! Thanks again and have a great weekend! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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