Invited to a wedding

[Trixy5234]

i was invited to an armenian wedding on july 6th and i was planning on going. i don't know the bride and groom..i was invited by the bestman's family. anyway i wanted to know how i should act and how to be proper and what to do, considering im white and not armenian. my friend told me i was going to be the only white person there. i dont feel wierd at all. but do you think they'll be all like what the heck is she doing here and stuff? oh and my friend said i needed to learn to dance. i dunno...any input would be wonderful thank you.

[hasmiek]

haha, don't worry, just be relaxed and everything wil be ok. My boyfriend is white and has no problem at all fitting in, because he acts naturally. Your friends will probably introduce you to lots of people and they will take care that you have a good time, and lead you trough the official stuff.

 

at the wedding there will probably be some traditional dancing, but that's not so difficult...the people there will teach you...be relaxed and have fun!

[khodja]

Lindsay,

 

Are the couple getting married and their families recent arrivals to the US? What country did they come from. The imput you get will depend on the answers to these questions.

[Twilight Bark]

Dear Lindsay,

This may be nitpicking, but Armenians are white; just not Northern European sort of white. If you narrow the definition of white to the Nordics, you would also have to surrender all the accomplishments of the Near Eastern and Mediterannean civilizations to non-whites, and define it as an extreme latecomer to the adventure of "civilization". There is no need to do that, is there?

 

As for your question, there is no standard answer. The customs vary quite a bit depending on the country the particular Armenian families come from. I know for fact an Istanbul Armenian wedding (in North America) where not a single Armenian song was played; 95% of the songs were Turkish, and the crowd sang along with those songs only to lose its "energy" when the rare non-Turkish song came every now and then. On the other hand, such a scene may be considered justifiable grounds for aggravated assault by a "nationalist" family from Lebanon . The Western-Armenian (i.e. those not directly from the Armenian Republic) families expect their guests to show up for the church ceremony. On the other hand, those from Armenia may be pleasantly surprised that you bothered to show up for the church ceremony rather than directly going to the party. They also apparently expect you to drink a bottle of vodka or Armenian brandy to wash down a whole lamb's worth of meat, as well as the matching amounts of other dishes.

 

As for the "dances", I find the whole "belly dance" routine in poor taste, but I would be in a small minority. I think you should just relax and be yourself. And remember that what you see at Armenian weddings has next to nothing with the traditional Armenian culture, and is a manifestation of what happens to a small and weak culture when it is surrounded by the cultures of power.

[khodja]

I am starting to "GET IT." Those of us who are the descendants of Armenians who arrived upon US shores circa 1920 or earlier are NOT considered TRULY Armenian. No one mentions us at all. We are TOO American for some of you here.

[Twilight Bark]

Dear Hagarag,

What do you mean?

[Twilight Bark]

All right, I get it. Let me summarize my take on the subject then. Arabized Armenians often have Arabized weddings, Turkified Armenians often have Turkified weddings, Armenians from Armenia proper often show a melange of influences including Russian, and last but certainly, definitely, categorically not the least, Americanized Armenians often have Americanized weddings. And I don't even know if these are the exceptions or the rules. Now this was enlightening, wasn't it?

 

There.

[Harut]

hey Lindsay, don't worry a bit! everything is going to be just fine.

 

there were 2 non-Armenian girls during my cousin's wedding last year. they probably had more fun than i did.

 

just eat, drink and dance. i doubt there is going to be anything traditional. even the most of the music palyed today are in modern style with an Armenian twist in it. so you'll pick it quick.

[Trixy5234]

oh i have no trouble being comfortable...two years in a row i attened the marchs in little armenia (north hollywood) and most of my friends are armenian...i was just wondering if the familys would like not want me there or something.

oh and twightlight bark im sorry about the "white" thing...im german...my family has been here since ww2...but i just said white cause thats what im considered...thats the box i check when i register for school and such...there is no german-american box

to answer someone elses question...they are from actual armenia...they moved to glendale a few years ago im thinking like 6 or 7 maybe

 

[ May 28, 2002, 04:52 PM: Message edited by: Lindsay ]

[Twilight Bark]

If someone is going to be uncomfortable, don't let it be you

 

As for checking boxes, in the absence of a specific "Armenian" entry in the questionaire, an Armenian would have to mark "white" unless he/she has a parent from another explicitly listed "group" ("pacific islander" sounds cool to me ; what the heck mark that anyway ) and chooses to mark that instead. Otherwise, Armenians are as "white" as Germans are "white", whatever that means.

[Harut]

that's Hollywood.

i don't think so

that's the box i check too. even though i'm probably not as light as you are.

[Trixy5234]

actually i dont know about you guys but when i registered for college this summer there was a seperate box for armenian

[THOTH]

I have some relatives that adopted a non-Armenian daughter - she is perhaps 18-22? now - and I last saw her several years ago at an Armenian wedding (we danced around in circles alot - typical stuff I always thought...) - anyway - not only does she speak fluent Armenian - she is knowledgeble of (at least some) Armenian history (and certainly culture)...and she dances "Armenian" better then almost anyone I know (certainly very enthusiatically)...anyway, Lindsay - why are you aorried about fitting in? Just be yourself and have fun!

[Twilight Bark]

Dear Garo or MosJan,

Could you move the out-of-topic discussion to its own topic? Sorry for the nuiscance.

Thanks.

TB

 

[ May 29, 2002, 02:13 PM: Message edited by: Twilight Bark ]

[Harut]

Please continue your master-slave conversation in forum Other.

 

thank you

[Bakersfieldian]

Here's an honest idea of what to expect at an Armenian wedding if you are non-Armenian.

 

Make sure to dress really nice but not too flashy. The other women will be staring at you a great deal and talking out of jealousy. The men will be checking you out because they are men and you look different and good. This again goes back to the women talking about you because the men are paying attention to you.

 

Don't drink too much no matter how much they push on you.

 

Make sure your nose has been warned about the excessive amounts of cheap cologne and perfume.

 

Don't ask what's in the food. Don't worry, it's all good. We killed off the bad cooks centuries ago (technically, they were breed out because Armenian mothers won't let their son marry a girl who can't cook).

 

Other then that, have restrained fun.

[Sip]

This is just too freaky!!! I almost always either mark "Pacific Islander" or "Philipino" on every application I file and I always thought I was the only one

[koko]

Baker...

Is soooooo right! Unfortunatly...lol.

 

but one thing that is for sure is that armenians from todays Armenia in general dress very flashy and has huge amounts of make up- the women.

 

But weddings are fun,i think youll be accepted the way u are. If only u are comfortable!