Guest Posted October 27, 2000 Report Share Posted October 27, 2000 Men vs. Women http://mldebay.homestead.com/files/WOMAN.jpg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 27, 2000 Report Share Posted October 27, 2000 lol....highly entertaining... what were the answers for the feminist quiz?;...i'm horrified i might qualify....LOLjoke, joke... kevorkian; ashamed or proud....neither...he's a well educated lunatic...so maybe both...lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 29, 2000 Report Share Posted October 29, 2000 Mi mard gnum e meqenayov Abaran. Abarani janaparin milician kangnacnum e.Es mardu motel prava chi linum ev erb abaranci milicioner@ motenum e meqenayin, es mard@ pravayi tex@ haylin e cuyc talis. Milicioner@ nayum e haylun ev asum. -Ay mard ba vor miliciayi ashxatox eir shut aseir, ar gna !!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 31, 2000 Report Share Posted October 31, 2000 An Israeli doctor said, "Medicine in my country is so advanced, we can take a kidney out of one person, put it in another, and have them at work in six weeks." A German doctor said, "That's nothing! In Germany we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have them at work in four weeks." A Russian doctor said, "In my country medicine is so advanced that we could take a half a heart from one person, put it in another, and have them both looking for work in two weeks." An American doctor, not to be outdone, said, "Hah! We are about to take an a**hole out of Texas, put him in the White House, and half the country will be looking for work within the year." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 1, 2000 Report Share Posted November 1, 2000 We used to make such jokes on the Soviet Army. The exerpt beloiw has been emailed to me with assurances that it is a real story _____________________________A directive from the US Department of Defense was sent to all Armyunits in the field. It reads: "It is necessary for technical reasons that thesewarheads must be stored upside down, that is, with the top at the bottom andthe bottom at the top. To prevent anyone making a mistake, and in order thatthere will be no doubt as to which is the bottom and which is the top, forstorage purposes, it will be noted that the bottom of each warhead has beenlabeled with the word 'Top.'"' !!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 6, 2000 Report Share Posted November 6, 2000 English club. Smell of expencive cigars and brandy. Two gentlemen are sitting silently in deep armchairs. After a while:First Gent: Christmas is coming.Second Gent: Oh yeah, Christmas is coming.After a whileFG: Christmas is good, but sex is better.SG: Oh yeah, sex is better.After a whileFG: Sex is better, but Christmas is more frequent.SG: Oh yeah, Chistmas is more frequent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 17, 2000 Report Share Posted November 17, 2000 I received this from a friend._____________________________________________NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCETo the citizens of the United States of America, In the light of your failure to elect anybody as President of the USA andthus to govern yourselves and, by extension, the free world, We hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties over all states, commonwealths and other territoriesincluding New Jersey. To aid in the transition to a British CrownDependency, please comply with the following acts: 1. Look up "revocation" in the now official Oxford Dictionary ($75). Start spelling English words correctly.2. Learn at least the first 4 lines of "God Save The Queen"3. Start referring to "soccer" as football4. Declare war on Quebec and France5. Arrest Mel Gibson for treason6. Close down the NFL. Learn to play rugby7. Enjoy warm flat beer and steak and kidney pudding. Train waitresses to be more aggressive with customers and not to tell you their names before you eat.8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday, this has been replaced with November 5th.9. All members of this British Crown Dependency will be required to take 6 weeks annual vacation and observe statutory tea breaks.10. Driving on the left is now compulsory - recall all cars to effect the change immediately. 11. Report to our Consulate General in NY - M Wragg - for your new passport and job allocation.12. Have Meg Ryan report to the Prince Andrew´ s Bedchamber.13. Add the Royal insignia to the top of theWashington Monument - and the Queens Christmas speeches to the Lincoln Memorial.14. Stop referring to the World Series of Baseball and instead call it the National Series of USA, Cuba and Japan.15. Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due(backdated to 1776)." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 17, 2000 Report Share Posted November 17, 2000 1)Good! it's about time those mistakes were corrected.2)No! Don't do that, it's boring!3)Whatever you call it...4)I'm not involved so I woul'nt know5)I'm not involved...6)NFL and Rugby...There really IS no difference....Both are sports played by people who actually ENJOY having the life crushed out of each other. Think it makes the look like "real men"7)Steak and Kiney puddings are horrile! But come on, who doesnt enjoy cold, sparkling fresh beer? Yum!8)yeah!!9)AND appropriate fag breaks10)As long as we get to wherever it is we are going.11)I hope you like the jobs you get, this fantasy want my idea after all!12)I dont know what Andrew and meg Ryan's habits are, not interested, so no comment.13)Christmas speeches? PLEASE no! guaranteed to cure insomnia though, doctors can put that on prescription instead of prozac.1415) NO COMMMENT! My conclusion is, I think the two should merge together instead, We wont needto cross the pacific! so we can all meet in starbucks, and then down the pub, perfect! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 17, 2000 Report Share Posted November 17, 2000 quote:Originally posted by MJ:2. Learn at least the first 4 lines of "God Save The Queen"GSTQ by the Sex Pistols??? Well, awwlllright! Had that one squared away 20 years ago! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 21, 2000 Report Share Posted November 21, 2000 I just received an email from a good friend. In the light of the events of the latest few days, I think it may provide us with a source of another laugh "i just noticed that you posted total of 666messages at the forum. there needs to be a new topic for discussions on Armenians and Satanism. inch-eq kartsoom? " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 21, 2000 Report Share Posted November 21, 2000 You must quickly get to 777 which at one time was touted as the saintly version of 666. 668 - The neighbor of the beast Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 27, 2000 Report Share Posted November 27, 2000 quote:Originally posted by Sulamita:There is a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere where the following groups of people are stranded:2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman2 French men and 1 French woman2 German men and 1 German woman2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarian woman2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman2 Armenian men and 1 Armenian womanOne month later on this absolutely stunning deserted island in the middle of nowhere, the following has occurred:One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in a menage a troisThe two German men have a strict weekly schedule in which they alternate with the German woman. The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.The Bulgarian men took a long look at the endless ocean and one look at the Bulgarian woman and they started swimming.The Irish began by dividing up their island,Northside and Southside, and by setting up a distillery. They do not remember if *** is in the picture because it gets sort of foggy after the first few liters of coconut whiskey, but at least the English are not getting any.And finally...The 2 Armenian men are still waiting for someone to introduce them to the Armenian woman. That's not true cuz i was born in Bulgaria and Bulgarian girls are fine and ,secondly, if a proper introduction is what they want, that means Armenian men have more class than u are willing to give them. Interestingly, you always admire that in European "gentlemen." Nayir Yevrobatsinerun erads aghdodutyunnerun.------------------x ~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 28, 2000 Report Share Posted November 28, 2000 (blonde joke) A guy is sitting in the bar with three blonde women and he turns to one of them and asks " do you wanna hear a blonde joke?" the woman turns to him and says "sure but let me tell you that i am 6ft 200 ibs and a weightlifter,my friend is 6'2'' 210ibs and a wrestler and my other friend is 6'5'' 230 and a powerlifter" the guy says " okay but ill have to say the joke 3 times" [This message has been edited by Alex Kornev (edited November 28, 2000).] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 5, 2001 Report Share Posted January 5, 2001 Announcement by the Israeli radio: “We are pleased to announce that after 40 years of hard excavation work Israeli archeologists discovered a piece of copper cord underneath the ancient city of Jerusalem. This important artifact is evidence that intelligent Hebrews were using telephone communications long before Bell’s discovery. A week later, an announcement by Radio Yerevan: “After 40 years of hard and enduring excavation work Armenian archeologist found… NOTHING underneath ancient Erebuni. This lead us to the conclusion that ancient Armenians were well aware of the wireless….” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 5, 2001 Report Share Posted January 5, 2001 GAMAVOR, you made my day today! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 5, 2001 Report Share Posted January 5, 2001 Good One Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 6, 2001 Report Share Posted January 6, 2001 Radio Yerevan: Who are the stupidest people on Earth?- …Despite of that, Georgians have excellent cognac. Who is Leonid Brejnev’s lover?- We really do not want to interfere in Maia Plisetzkaia’s private life. Hello. My name is Ana and I am 17 years old. Yesterday my boyfriend and I went for a walk in the park and we were late. I was back at home at 2’00 AM. My ma yelled at me severely and I cried. Tell me please did I something wrong.- You tell me, young lady? When will the Judgment day come?- When Chinese finally realize that for very long time they ate only the garnish. Is it true that Adam loved Eve?- Yes. Who else? What would a decent man do after having sex?- He would go home. How the porcupines multiply?- Just like the rest of the mammals but very, very carefully. Is it true that Oscar Waild was homosexual?Radio Tbilisi: - Yes. However, we respect him not only for that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 6, 2001 Report Share Posted January 6, 2001 Gamavor ::))))))))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 8, 2001 Report Share Posted January 8, 2001 Radio Yerevan: What is the difference between flirt, love, and marriage?- Flirt is this and that without… love is this and that with… and marriage is… without this and that. Is it allowed to make love at the “Red Square”?- Yes, but there would be many advisers. Could you tell me please at what age men cease to be sexually active?- Sorry- we cannot answer this question. All of our associates are under 90 years old. Is it possible for the ordinary folks in Armenia to make ends meet, relaying solely on their salaries?- We really do not know. We have never tried. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 17, 2001 Report Share Posted January 17, 2001 Doctors' CommentsActual Comments on Patient Charts -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993." "The patient refused an autopsy." "On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely." "She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce." "The patient has no past history of suicides." "She is numb from her toes down." "Patient has two teenage children but no other abnormalities." "Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital." "Patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days." "Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch." "She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night." "While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home." "The skin was moist and dry." "Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches." "I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy." "The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead." "Skin: Somewhat pale but present." "Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Smith, who felt we should sit on the abdomen, and I agree." "Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year." "Discharge status: Alive but without permission." http://sendafriend.com/doctors/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 17, 2001 Report Share Posted January 17, 2001 What sperm cells and lawyers have in common?- One in a million turns into a human being. PS: Sorry colleagues, I could not resist to post this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 17, 2001 Report Share Posted January 17, 2001 quote:Originally posted by gamavor:What sperm cells and lawyers have in common?- One in a million turns into a human being.PS: Sorry colleagues, I could not resist to post this.May I introduce you one out of a million, Gamavooor... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 21, 2001 Report Share Posted January 21, 2001 quote:Originally posted by gamavor:What sperm cells and lawyers have in common?- One in a million turns into a human being.PS: Sorry colleagues, I could not resist to post this.Well.....thank you lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 21, 2001 Report Share Posted January 21, 2001 CORRECTION! "Very few in a million...." Cheers Nvart! [This message has been edited by gamavor (edited January 21, 2001).] [This message has been edited by gamavor (edited January 21, 2001).] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 21, 2001 Report Share Posted January 21, 2001 Duk Orbat ek lav er Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.