Jump to content

Harut ?


Sip

Recommended Posts

This one is from wacky Indian site

 

There was once a Indian and an Pakistani who lived next door to

each other. The Indian owned a hen and each morning would look in his

garden and pick up one of his hen's eggs for breakfast.

 

One day he looked into his garden and saw that the hen had laid

an egg in the Pakistani's garden. He was about to go next door when he saw

the Pakistani pick up the egg. The Indian ran up to the Pakistani and told

him that the egg belonged to him because he owned the hen. The Pakistani

disagreed because the egg was laid on his property.

 

They argued for a while until finally the Indian said, "In my

family we normally solve disputes by the following actions: I kick you

in the balls and time how long it takes you to get back up, then you

kick me in the balls and time how long it takes for me to get up, who

ever gets up quicker wins the egg."

 

The Pakistani agreed to this and so the Indian found his heaviest

pair of boots and put them on, he took a few steps back, then ran toward

the Pakistani and kicked as hard as he could in the balls. The Pakistani

fell to the floor clutching his nuts howling in agony for 30 minutes.

 

Eventually the Pakistani stood up and said, "Now it's my turn to kick you."

 

The Indian said, "Keep the damn egg!"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Next time you get asked an annoying Indian question, answer it like

this...

Q. What does that red dot on women's forehead mean?

A. Well, in ancient times, Indian men used to practice archery

skills by target practicing by aiming at their wife's red dot. In

fact, that is one of the reasons why they had many wives. You see,

once they mastered the art of archery and hit the target....

 

Q. You're from India, aren't you? I have read so much about the

country. All the wonderful places, the forests, the snake charmers,

the elephants. Do you still use elephants for transportation?

[note: This one we were actually asked in August '93 by a real

estate agent when house-hunting in Boston.]

A. Absolutely. In fact we used to have our own elephant in

our house. But later, we started elephant-pooling with our neighbors,

to save the air. You see elephants have an "emissions" problem.....

 

Q. Does India have cars?

A. No. We ride elephants to work. The government is trying to

encourage ride-sharing schemes.

 

 

Q. Are all Indians vegetarian?

A. Yes. Even tigers are vegetarian in India.

 

Q. How come you speak English so well?

A. You see when the British were ruling India,they employed Indians

as servants. It took too long for the Indians to learn English. So the

British isolated an "English-language" gene and infused their

servants' babies with it and since then all babies born are born

speaking English.

 

A variation to the above is a compliment ---

"You speak very good English."

Response: Thanks. So do you.

 

Q. Are you a Hindi?

A. Yes. I am spoken everyday in Northern India.

 

Q. Do you speak Hindu?

A. Yes, I also speak Jewish, Islam and Christianity.

 

Q. Is it true that everyone there is very corrupt?

A. Yes, in fact, I had to bribe my parents so that they would let me

go to school.

 

Q. India is very hot, isn't it?

A. It is so hot there that all the water boils spontaneously. That is

why tea is such a popular drink in India.

 

Q. Are there any business companies in India?

A. No. All Indians live on the Gandhian prinicples of

self-sufficiency. We all make our own clothes and grow our own food.

That is why you see all these thin skinny Indians -- it is a lot of

hard work.

 

Q. Indians cannot eat beef, huh?

A. Cows provide milk which is a very essential part of Indian

diet. So eating cows is forbidden. However in order to decrease the

population of the country, the government is trying to encourage

everyone to eat human meat.

 

Q. India is such a religious place. Do you meditate regularly?

A. Yes, sometimes I meditate for weeks without food and drink. But it

is difficult to keep my job, because I have to miss work when I

meditate like that. But the bosses there do the same thing. That is

why things are so inefficient there.

 

Q. I saw on TV that people there walk on burning coals. Why do they

do that?

A. We don't have shoes. So we burn the botton of our feet to make it

hard so that we can walk.

 

Q. Why do you sometimes wear Indian clothes to work?

A. I prefer it to coming naked.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 month later...
  • 2 months later...
  • 6 months later...
  • 2 months later...
  • 10 months later...

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
×
×
  • Create New...