nairi Posted August 16, 2007 Report Share Posted August 16, 2007 well... in general you're right... i guess my subjective opinion comes from the fact that i don't concern myself with what men do, or how they are, or how they behave... i don't date them... You're one of them though. As per usual, Arman has started this thread with gender in the back of his mind, rather than compromise. If it was a discussion on compromise that he truly cared about, he would not have attacked women in his first post. Instead of saying: "all women want to compromise, and I hate that," he could have just as easily said: "Let's talk about compromise. What do you think?" without bringing gender as a divisive tool. He does the same with race, sexuality, and anything else that potentially forms groups and divides them, thinking he is being intelligent and different, instead of silly and shallow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yervant1 Posted August 16, 2007 Report Share Posted August 16, 2007 (edited) Sorry Yervant jan, i think the word is 'respect' real respect. Ser@, srti hamazor zark unenal@ payman e haraberutyunneri skzbnakan shrjani hamar. Someone has already mentioned that with time we all change-and so our understanding of love. Mrdkayin poxharaberutyunneri himnaqar@ bolor jamanaknerum yegel u mnalu e harganq@. Sireli Arratta Jan yerb sirum es mekin iskapes, arden harganq@ het@ne, ches karogh sirel arands harganqi. Bayts hagarag@ shitak che, k@rnas harqel mek@ yev chi sirel. Edited August 16, 2007 by Yervant1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nairi Posted August 16, 2007 Report Share Posted August 16, 2007 Sireli Arratta Jan yerb sirum es mekin iskapes, arden harganq@ het@ne, ches karogh sirel arands harganqi. Bayts hagarag@ shitak che, k@rnas harqel mek@ yev chi sirel. Even when you respect someone you are sharing your life with, you are compromising things that you may not fully agree with. In other words, compromising is not merely trying to find a midway. That's only one way of looking at it. That is a situation when you like the salt on the left side of the table, but your partner likes it on the right side, so you both agree to put it in the middle. If you don't find a midway in a situation like this, then either partner is going to have to be submissive to the other and simply "accept" the salt to be on the side of the table that their partner prefers. In doing the latter, however, you are also compromising. That is, compromising your own likes and dislikes to please your partner. I just can't picture a successful relationship where both partners are doing as they wish without either a middle-ground somewhere or one of the two compromising their likes and dislikes. Which is why I keep repeating that any relationship is about giving, taking, and losing some, no matter how much love and respect is involved. Perhaps it's my female side speaking, but I doubt this, since numerous men on this thread are saying the same thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yervant1 Posted August 16, 2007 Report Share Posted August 16, 2007 Even when you respect someone you are sharing your life with, you are compromising things that you may not fully agree with. In other words, compromising is not merely trying to find a midway. That's only one way of looking at it. That is a situation when you like the salt on the left side of the table, but your partner likes it on the right side, so you both agree to put it in the middle. If you don't find a midway in a situation like this, then either partner is going to have to be submissive to the other and simply "accept" the salt to be on the side of the table that their partner prefers. In doing the latter, however, you are also compromising. That is, compromising your own likes and dislikes to please your partner. I just can't picture a successful relationship where both partners are doing as they wish without either a middle-ground somewhere or one of the two compromising their likes and dislikes. Which is why I keep repeating that any relationship is about giving, taking, and losing some, no matter how much love and respect is involved. Perhaps it's my female side speaking, but I doubt this, since numerous men on this thread are saying the same thing. In a relationship if both partners did as they please, they might as well live separate lives because it won't work. I think this thread turned into word games, in reality we are all saying the same thing with a personal twist of course let's not forget the personal attacks and insults. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nairi Posted August 16, 2007 Report Share Posted August 16, 2007 In a relationship if both partners did as they please, they might as well live separate lives because it won't work. Which is one of the reasons why I choose to remain single. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anonymouse Posted August 16, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 16, 2007 (edited) You're one of them though. As per usual, Arman has started this thread with gender in the back of his mind, rather than compromise. If it was a discussion on compromise that he truly cared about, he would not have attacked women in his first post. Instead of saying: "all women want to compromise, and I hate that," he could have just as easily said: "Let's talk about compromise. What do you think?" without bringing gender as a divisive tool. He does the same with race, sexuality, and anything else that potentially forms groups and divides them, thinking he is being intelligent and different, instead of silly and shallow. And this is where nairi replies to me without replying to me directly. It's that stage of the thread where she is already fed up after buttons being pushed. Thinking she is psychic and knows my motivations, she will spill her opinion because it's better to ignore everything else. She would much rather make assumptions and generalizations, all the while claiming she hates generalizations and mice who make them. When I stated that I talk about women, because as a man, this thread is written from the perspective of me as a man, she wouldn't believe that and why should she, right? She won't have that! How dare anyone introduce anything related to subjective perceptions, and the ability to differentiate between things! That is how racists are born! After pointing out nairi's hypocrisy, she became even more inflamed and irate. That is the way she is. She cannot possibly stand dissent, disagreement or anything or anyone that has views that fall way beyond her ideological prism of no stereotypes, men are evil, women can do no wrong, and "I am always right because I can't stand criticism." Edited August 16, 2007 by Anonymouse Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nairi Posted August 16, 2007 Report Share Posted August 16, 2007 Get a life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arpa Posted August 16, 2007 Report Share Posted August 16, 2007 (edited) Get a life. Nairi. Are you my alter ego? Eeven if we may have different physique. Who is this "anony-clown" anyway! He has not said anything relevent to our quest. It is doubltful that he is Armenian, reads and writes in Armenian. Show me! What the hell is his mission? He is all over the inernet, all the way from hayastan.com to hyeforum. Does he really HAVE A LIFE? Or is his aim to make LIFE miserable to th erat of us. Dear mods. Is it not time to "KILL/ban" him, and have him find another masturbatory playground? And leave space for those with a full count of marbles speak? I know. I know. My PM box will probably overflow with hate mail. Not to worry. I know how to delete them. Edited August 16, 2007 by Arpa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stormig Posted August 16, 2007 Report Share Posted August 16, 2007 Note to self: Don't go to Ed's house for dinner on "Mexican" night. BTW, I am loved by everyone at work. Where does that leave me and my fart? Oh wait, I respect people's noses by curbing my most natural - and I do mean natural - right even if some people have no qualms with polluting my breathing air with that "cool" thing they call smoking or making a commotion out of being reminded about some manners... What's the big deal about compromise, adapting, trade-offs, and middle-ways? It's not just with couples, it's a fact of life with almost every kind of relationship out there. To not go through any of those would mean either you live on an island or are like those German eldsters who die and the police find out only when they break into their houses N years later. Still, of course, to each their own. I see little in the way of a relationship between, say, a woman's making a man (whatever) over and compromise. It's ruts and growing old, losing that joie de vivre and turning on themselves or something... My observation is that this is more common with aging females, but then it is also common knowledge that teenage guys, who are no less affected by mid-life crises later on in their lives and ending up doing stupid things, are also interested in only sex during a certain period of their lives, exceptions not screwing the rule. Big whoop. Let's discover America all over again/make America over... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nairi Posted August 16, 2007 Report Share Posted August 16, 2007 Nairi. Are you my alter ego? Eeven if we may have different physique. Who is this "anony-clown" anyway! He has not said anything relevent to our quest. It is doubltful that he is Armenian, reads and writes in Armenian. Show me! What the hell is his mission? He is all over the inernet, all the way from hayastan.com to hyeforum. Does he really HAVE A LIFE? Or is his aim to make LIFE miserable to th erat of us. Dear mods. Is it not time to "KILL/ban" him, and have him find another masturbatory playground? And leave space for those with a full count of marbles speak? I know. I know. My PM box will probably overflow with hate mail. Not to worry. I know how to delete them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anonymouse Posted August 16, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 16, 2007 Nairi. Are you my alter ego? Eeven if we may have different physique. Who is this "anony-clown" anyway! He has not said anything relevent to our quest. It is doubltful that he is Armenian, reads and writes in Armenian. Show me! What the hell is his mission? He is all over the inernet, all the way from hayastan.com to hyeforum. Does he really HAVE A LIFE? Or is his aim to make LIFE miserable to th erat of us. Dear mods. Is it not time to "KILL/ban" him, and have him find another masturbatory playground? And leave space for those with a full count of marbles speak? I know. I know. My PM box will probably overflow with hate mail. Not to worry. I know how to delete them. Hayastan.com? I have never even been on that website my little urchin. It seems I am upsetting the balance of the force between Nairi and her woodland friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Takoush Posted August 16, 2007 Report Share Posted August 16, 2007 No Sip, after I eat the Mexican I jump into the hot tub and enjoy a nice bubble bath with a cigar and chardoney wine pal. and so my German shephard You know Sip what I think? I think after all that the poor German shephard collapses for hours or goes into a coma. At least I think that it's a possibility, don't you think? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Takoush Posted August 16, 2007 Report Share Posted August 16, 2007 (edited) That is what sets apart great men from average men, because the former have a different purpose in life and don't have the needs of an average person. Yes it's true. Though I was merely stating the other side of the coin as well. But most people are in the category of an average person. Coming to relationships, there are many little things that one can compromise to accomodate for the legitimate needs or even weeknesses of the partner. But that doesn't mean one has to compromise who he/she is. Small things are well worth to give up to make your other half happy, but to give up your fundamental values to change yourself so as to satisfy the whims of your partner is not the right way to go IMO. For example, if I like to listen to classical music but I am asked not to do that I will say NO. But if I have to lower the volume not to disturb then I will do that, that really does not change who I am. The bottom line is love, respect and mutual understanding. When these are in place you don't have to think hard to figure out what needs to be compromised and what needs not. A loving partner will never ask you to give up what is important for you but will in fact sacrifice some of his/her things to accomodate you. If this is mutual then both will live in a happy and harmonious way and willingly change themselves to be better persons. Yes Sasun, then you and I think alike; because I said similar thoughts with slightly different wordings. Of course I agree. Edited August 16, 2007 by Anahid Takouhi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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