Azat Posted November 1, 2006 Report Share Posted November 1, 2006 The blind man’s seeing eye dog pissed on the blind man’s shoe. The blind man said, “Here Rover, here’s a piece of beef for you.” His wife said, “Don’t reward him.” “You can’t just let that pass.” The blind man said, “I’ve got to find his mouth, so that I can kick him in the ass.” ------- When God created woman, he gave her not two breast but three. When the middle one got in the way, God performed surgery. The woman stood before God with middle breast in hand and said, “What do we do with the useless boob?” And God created man. ------- Gramps turned eighty the other day and everybody was there. And he was dressed up in a brand new suit sitting in his big armchair. When a beautiful, young, naked woman stood up in front of the group, she offered gramps some super sex and he said, “I’ll take the soup.” ------- Harut went to the neighborhood dance and he won the big door prize. It was a toilet brush and he took it home and the next week one of the guys said, “Hey Harut, how was that toilet brush, the one you won from the neighbors?” Harut said, “Oh it works pretty good, but I prefer toilet paper.” ------- Farmer had a champion bull bred 200 times a year. The farmer’s wife said, “Two hundred times, isn’t that wonderful dear?” “Maybe you ought to watch him. Maybe he’ll show you how.” Farmer said, “He’s a heck of a bull but it wasn’t all with the same cow.” ------- Movses: Did you hear about the sorryyyyy shipment that got stolen? Edward: No, who do you think did it? Movses: Well, they don’t know but the cops on the lookout for hardened criminals. ------- Azat said to his friend, “Boy I think my wife died.” His friend said, “Well what do you mean you think?” “Well the sex is still the same but the dishes are stacking up.” ------- Amy: Did you know that diarrhea was hereditary? Maral: No I didn’t. Amy: Yea, it runs in your jeans. ------- Edward: Why do they call it PMS? Sip: PMS, well I don’t know why. Edward: Because mad cow was already taken. ------- Gams: What do you get when you cross holy water with castor oil? Armen: I don’t know, Lefty, what do you get? Gams: A religious movement. ------- Harut: What did the elephant say to the naked man? Azat: What did he say? Harut: Its cute but can you really breathe through that thing? ------- vava: We come from people who brought us up to believe that life is a struggle, and if you should feel really happy, be patient: this will pass. ------- The penguin joke? Two penguins are standing on an ice floe. The first penguin says, “You look like you're wearing a tuxedo”. The second penguin says, “What makes you think I'm not?” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Error 404 Posted November 2, 2006 Report Share Posted November 2, 2006 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sip Posted November 2, 2006 Report Share Posted November 2, 2006 Q: How to Hellen Keller's parents punish her? A: They rearrange the furniture. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExtraHye Posted November 2, 2006 Report Share Posted November 2, 2006 Q: Why did Bill Gates divorce his wife? (He didn't it's only a joke) A: She didn't do windows. I heard this from some guy at a meeting Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harut Posted November 2, 2006 Report Share Posted November 2, 2006 pap, pap, vor yes metsanam, inchem darrnalu? bala jan, du ches metsanalu... du rak unes... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harut Posted November 2, 2006 Report Share Posted November 2, 2006 Harut: What did the elephant say to the naked man? Azat: What did he say? Harut: Its cute but can you really breathe through that thing? good thing we don't... otherwise the regular sex would be like having sex under the water... we had to hold our breath... and imagine.... mom, mom, i can't breathe, i'm dying... let it go, son, let it go... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harut Posted November 2, 2006 Report Share Posted November 2, 2006 good thing we don't... otherwise the regular sex would be like having sex under the water... we had to hold our breath... and imagine.... mom, mom, i can't breathe, i'm dying... let it go, son, let it go... abarantsin qamakov shnchel a sovorum, nstum a kashvits atorrin, xeghtvum a... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExtraHye Posted November 2, 2006 Report Share Posted November 2, 2006 pap, pap, vor yes metsanam, inchem darrnalu? bala jan, du ches metsanalu... du rak unes... Whats so funny about this? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ED Posted November 3, 2006 Report Share Posted November 3, 2006 Harut: Azat dzadza, why you say sorryyyyy and Disneyland have lots in common? Azat dzadza: Harut jan, because they both cause you to stand around for an 2 hours waiting for a two minute ride! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ED Posted November 3, 2006 Report Share Posted November 3, 2006 Amy: What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend? Maral: About 45 pounds!! Amy: What is the difference between a husband and a boyfriend? Maral: About 45 minutes !! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gamavor Posted November 3, 2006 Report Share Posted November 3, 2006 Q: Why did Bill Gates divorce his wife? (He didn't it's only a joke) A: She didn't do windows. I heard this from some guy at a meeting This reminded me another Microsoft classic. On the morning after the first wedding night, Bill Gates' wife made the following comment: "Now I know why it is called MICROSOFT!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Takoush Posted November 4, 2006 Report Share Posted November 4, 2006 Amy: What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend? Maral: About 45 pounds!! Amy: What is the difference between a husband and a boyfriend? Maral: About 45 minutes !! Ed, do you have one track mind? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ED Posted November 4, 2006 Report Share Posted November 4, 2006 Ed, do you have one track mind? yes! why have more? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yervant1 Posted November 4, 2006 Report Share Posted November 4, 2006 Hey Edward do you remember the 8-Tracks? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ED Posted November 4, 2006 Report Share Posted November 4, 2006 Hey Edward do you remember the 8-Tracks? how could they made me forget the 8 tracks ?? one was for warm up (berry white), and for grand finaly was Tom Jones. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yervant1 Posted November 4, 2006 Report Share Posted November 4, 2006 how could they made me forget the 8 tracks ?? one was for warm up (berry white), and for grand finaly was Tom Jones. I bought my last 8-track in Athens in 1976. It was Giannis Parios who was a Greek pop icon at the time. IMO 8-tracks were the shortest lasting invention ever in audio industry, even less than the Beta-video format. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maral Posted November 4, 2006 Report Share Posted November 4, 2006 Amy: What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend? Maral: About 45 pounds!! Amy: What is the difference between a husband and a boyfriend? Maral: About 45 minutes !! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maral Posted November 4, 2006 Report Share Posted November 4, 2006 Hey Edward do you remember the 8-Tracks? Yervant! I remember 8 Tracks! I have Jesus Christ Superstar on one! (embarrased to admt it,but I remember all the songs too!) dang that brings back memories of living in Massachusettes,driving around in Camaro and then later on a big ol' station wagon with the 8 tracks blasting,ahhh we were so cool Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yervant1 Posted November 4, 2006 Report Share Posted November 4, 2006 Yervant! I remember 8 Tracks! I have Jesus Christ Superstar on one! (embarrased to admt it,but I remember all the songs too!) dang that brings back memories of living in Massachusettes,driving around in Camaro and then later on a big ol' station wagon with the 8 tracks blasting,ahhh we were so cool Is that the one with Roger Daltry of who? I think 8-Tracks were the only stereo tapes available at that time, but it's size didn't help and compact cassette came in stereo very quickly which put the nail in the coffin for 8-Tracks. Yeah I remember the Camaro years too, my brother-in-law had a white Trans-AM. I bought Cutlass-Supreme 2-Door instead of Monte Carlo Sport, these were the cool cars at the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ED Posted November 4, 2006 Report Share Posted November 4, 2006 Is that the one with Roger Daltry of who? No Yervant, it was Ian Gilan of deep purple who sang Jesus, Jesus Christ Superstar by Andrew Loyd Weber Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maral Posted November 4, 2006 Report Share Posted November 4, 2006 welcome to the Old Farts club kiddies Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ED Posted November 4, 2006 Report Share Posted November 4, 2006 Azat took his blind date to the carnival. "What would you like to do first, Anahid?" asked Azat. "I want to get weighed," said Anahid. They ambled over to the weight guesser. He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize. Next, the couple went on the Ferris Wheel. When the ride was over, Azat again asked Anahid what she would like to do. "I want to get weighed," she said. Back to the weight guesser they went. Since they had been there before, he guessed her correct weight, and Azat lost his dollar. The couple walked around the carnival and again he asked where to next. "I want to get weighed," Anahid responded. By this time, Azat figured she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake. Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, "How did it go?" Anahid responded, "Oh, Waura, it was wousy." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maral Posted November 4, 2006 Report Share Posted November 4, 2006 that was great! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MosJan Posted November 4, 2006 Report Share Posted November 4, 2006 No it's not !!! Xerj Azat / @engeroj@s glxin el inch ases chi galsi Iy MArd mi Kargin Axchik chenq gtnelu es im @engeroch hamar HA aa@ ?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ED Posted November 4, 2006 Report Share Posted November 4, 2006 this one is special for Taqush "It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Hagop says as he stepped out of the shower, "Anahid, honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn naked like this?" "Probably that I married you for your money," Anahid replied. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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