This is what completely fascinates me about religion ... it's stories like yours, man! You take this complete and utter garbage, and let it into your heart and mind .. and it starts making you feel good! It's like a bad drug that once it cripples you with its highly potent and addictive nature, you just can never let go of it. It will make you feel great ...you will start craving more and more of it ... you will make any and all excuses to justify why it is soooo good. But to what end? Then one day, you discover you lived your whole life fooling yourself in a fantasy ... so what did you do? Did you really live?