Top Ten Reasons Why

[ExtraHye]

10. You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.

 

9. If you get tired, you can wait 10 minutes and go at it again.

 

8. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.

 

7. You don't have to compliment the person who gives you some.

 

6. It's OK when the person you're with fantasizes you're someone else, because you are.

 

5. Twenty years from now you'll still enjoy the candy.

 

4. If you don't like what you get, you can always go next door.

 

3. It doesn't matter if the kids hear you moaning and groaning.

 

2. Less guilt the morning after.

 

1. You can do the whole neighborhood.

 

[THOTH]

Whoo hoo - funny

 

But - as an old guy - I can attest that not all of the negatives that seem to be attributed to getting older (#5 for instance...I mean I very much still do enjoy my sweets as it were...LOL) are in fact true (at least not yet...) - though many other good points certainly...

[THOTH]

LOL - forwarded this list to my wife and just got a response back - "no Trick or Treating for you this year!"

[ExtraHye]

LOL - forwarded this list to my wife and just got a response back - "no Trick or Treating for you this year!" 

[Armat]

[ Edited October 29, 2003 by Armat

[MJ]

The 21 Rules Of Halloween

 

1. When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see

if it's really dead.

 

2. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.

 

3. Do not search the basement, especially if the power has gone

out.

 

4. If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which

they should not know, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of

grief in the long run. However, it will probably take several rounds to

kill them, so be prepared. This also applies to kids who speak with

somebody else's voice.

 

5. When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER pair off and go alone.

 

6. As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.

 

7. Never stand in, on, or above a grave, tomb, or crypt. This would

apply to any other house of the dead as well.

 

8. If you're searching for something which caused a loud noise and find

out that it's just the cat, GET THE HELL OUT!

 

9. If appliances start operating by themselves, do not check for short

circuits; just get out.

 

10. Do not take ANYTHING from the dead.

 

11. If you find a town which looks deserted, there's probably a

good reason for it. Don't stop and look around.

 

12. Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you

know what you're doing. (does anybody REALLY know what they're doing

when it comes to playing God? K.)

 

13. If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at

least twice, more if you are female. Also note that, despite the fact

that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's

still moving fast enough to catch up with you.

 

14. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic

behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing

hairiness, and so on, kill them immediately.

 

15. Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are

listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (you're in

trouble if you recognize this one), anywhere in Texas where chainsaws are

sold, the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine.

 

16. If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road, do not go to

the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help. If you think that

it is strange you ran out of gas because you thought you had most of a

tank, shoot yourself instead. You are going to die anyway, and, most

likely, be eaten.

 

17. Beware of strangers bearing tools. For example: chainsaws, staple

guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers,

butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any devices made from

deceased companions.

 

18. If you find that your house is built upon a cemetery, now is the

time to move in with the in-laws. This also applies to houses that had

previous inhabitants who went mad, committed suicide, died in some

horrible fashion or had inhabitants who performed satanic practices.

 

19. Dress appropriately. When investigating a noise downstairs in an

old house, women should not wear a flimsy negligee. And carry a

flashlight, not a candle.

 

20. Do not mention the names of demons around open flames, as these can

flare suddenly. Be especially careful of fireplaces in this regard.

 

21. Do not go looking for witches in the Maryland countryside.

[Arpa]

Halloween story.

Armenian, except that they did not know halloween in those days, they called it carnavale, just like now they dressed up and used makeup, mascara and because of that in some languages "maskara/maskhara" means clown.

Carnavale is based on the Latin "carnivale", i.e tha last day for consumption of meat/carne, just like mardi gras means fat Tuesday i.e. the day before Ash Wednesday when all consumtpion of animal fat/meat must cease.

 

Anyway, it was the night of carnavale and everybody was concocting pranks, a few youth were sitting on the porch telling ghost stories and trying to see who could spook who. One of them came up with the most spooky idea. The house was not too far from the local cemetery. The game of dare was who could go deep into the cemetery and return in the middle of the night. It was a dark and dreary night, scary just by itself. There would be a prize of 5 drams. Nobody dared, finally the biggest and the boldest of them offered to do it. The terms were, as proof of his deep penetration he would drive a stake into the ground and leave it there. They would investigate the next day and pay him the prize based on how deep he had gone into the graveyard. The young man took th stake walked bravely into the dark, they could hear his footsteps crushing the dry leaves until they could not hear him anymore. All of a sudden they heard this blood curdling scream and knowing that soemthing terrible had happened they all ran towards the sound an they found their friend sitting onthe ground next to a grave paralyzed, unable to move, he could not talk either except that he was pointing to the ground between his leg....

He had driven the stake right though his shalvar and had virtually nailed himself to the ground.

[Arpa]

Another spooky Armenian story.

It was the nigth before carnavale. IT was dark dreay and drizzly night. The iwnd was wicked blowing the leaves around and pelting the peoples faces with cold freezing rain. A man on horsback was traveling from one village to another. His route would go right through the local cemetery. He was very leary cutting right through the graveyard so he drove his horse of the path to circumvent the cemetery. All seemed to fine and the man was congratulating himsel for being so brave when all of a sudden the horse uttered a sharp shriek and began standing on his hind legs and stopmping the ground. The driver could hardly control his horse amd keep him from galloping away in a frenzy. He could not understand why the horse was so spooked when all of a sudden he noticed why. There was this white ghost over a huge gravestone waving his arms and beckoning them towrads itself. The man, being a skptic and cynic, like you know who, would not succumb to ghost stories so readily, yet it was very clear, it was white shape that seemed very light and that it was using its arms and hands calling them deep into the graveyard. He let the horse go who took of in a panic and siapeared. The man, still doubting yet scared walked slowly towards the apparition, and now, scariets of the sacry, he heard voices, somebody was talking. He was just about to turn around and run like heck when the voice spoke again and tolfd him not to be afraid and get closer. Upon getting nearer now he could see the silhouette of a man sitting the on the gravestone. Our man felt a little more self assured now that there was another live person.

Finally he got close enough to even recognoize the other person. He was from his own village who told what had happened. It was rainywt night, he had been caught in a rainstom and his clothes had been soaked, now that the gain had let down he had removed his shirt and dressed it over the grave cross to dry. It was still still windy though so the white shirt sleeves were waving in the wind and making ghostly motions.

 

BOO!!!

 

:velho:

[joseph parikian]

http://www.funsilly.com/funjoke/devil.gif

 

A few minutes before the services started, the people were seated in their pews and talking. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for an exit, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.

 

Soon everyone had exited the church except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seeming oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence.

 

So Satan walked up to the old man and said, "Don't you know who I am?"

 

The man replied, "Yep, sure do."

 

"Aren't you afraid of me?" Satan asked.

 

"Nope, sure ain't." said the man.

 

"Don't you realize I can kill you with a single word?", asked Satan.

 

"Don't doubt it for a minute," returned the old man, in an even tone.

 

"Did you know that I could cause you profound, horrifying, physical AGONY for all eternity?" persisted Satan.

 

 

 

 

 

"Yep," was the calm reply.

 

"And yet you're still not afraid?" asked Satan.

 

"Nope."

 

More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, "Well, why aren't you afraid of me?"

 

The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for over 48 years."

[Arpa]

:wolfwood:

 

It is that time of the year again.

 

Any scary stories?

 

BOO!!

 

PS. MJ you may want to move your "werewolf" here too.

 

 

 

:vampire:

Edited October 31, 2004 by Arpa

[Arpa]

Speaking of scary stuff!

 

What are the Armenian terms of the following?

 

Ghost, ghoul, goblin, bat, eery, scary, spooky, weird, vampire, witch, warlock, werewolf.... what else?

 

Btw, In that story about Vivaldi's Opera Tigranes the the director is described as of Transylvanian-Armenian origin. I wonder if his original surname was Dracul-ian. :)

 

Here it is;

 

http://www.magyarmagic.com/calendar.php?&page=4&eid=182

 

 

 

 

Artistic director Domokos Moldovոn is well-known as a director of film and opera productions. His films were first shown in London at the Institute of Contemporary Arts as early as 1977. His film series of 15 portraits of Hungarian naive artists was screened in 1984 in the Royal Festival Hall in London.

Moldovոn is of Armenian-Transylvanian origin and a leading representative of the Armenian minority in Budapest. He has taken a special interest in works with an Armenian theme. Armenian Legend, a contemporary dance cantata was premiered in 2001. He was also instrumental in the revival and expansion of Vivaldi's Il Tigrane (Tigrane the Great, King of Armenia). The Hungarian record label Hungaroton is to release a recording of its first performance.

Edited October 31, 2004 by Arpa