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Computer Trouble


Azat

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I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Rick, the computer guy, to come over. Rick clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.

 

He gave me a bill for a minimum service call. As he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what was wrong?"

 

He replied, "It was an ID ten T error."

 

I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired: "An ID ten T error? What's that ... in case I need to fix it again?"

 

The computer guy grinned.... "Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?"

 

"No," I replied.

 

"Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out."

 

So I wrote out ..... . I D 1 0 T

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  • 2 months later...

Programmers' Drinking Song

 

100 little bugs in the code,

100 little bugs in the code,

fix one bug, compile it again,

101 little bugs in the code.

 

101 little bugs in the code.....

(Repeat until BUGS = 0)

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Programmers' Drinking Song

 

100 little bugs in the code,

100 little bugs in the code,

fix one bug, compile it again,

101 little bugs in the code.

 

101 little bugs in the code.....

(Repeat until BUGS = 0)

what a faulty logic dude

 

an infinite loop detected

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Along the lines of Azat's post:

 

Here at the office one of the most common error codes is Error 18.

When poeple ask, what's Error 18, we tell 'em:

 

It's the error that occur 18 inches from the computer screen :D :P

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In the computer world, how does a chicken cross the road?

NT Chicken:

Will cross the road in June. No, August. September for sure.

 

OS/2 Chicken:

It crossed the road in style years ago, but it was so quiet

that nobody noticed.

 

Win 95 Chicken:

You see different colored feathers while it crosses, but cook

it and it still tastes like ... chicken.

 

Microsoft Chicken ™:

It's already on both sides of the road. And it just bought

the road.

 

Assembler Chicken:

First it builds the road ...

 

C Chicken:

It crosses the road without looking both ways.

 

C++ Chicken:

The chicken wouldn't have to cross the road, you'd simply

refer to him on the other side.

 

VB Chicken:

USHighways!TheRoad.cross (aChicken)

 

Delphi Chicken:

The chicken is dragged across the road and dropped on

the other side.

 

Java Chicken:

If your road needs to be crossed by a chicken, the server

will download one to the other side.

(Of course, those are chicklets)

 

Web Chicken:

Jumps out onto the road, turns right, and just keeps

on running.

 

Gopher Chicken:

Tried to run, but got flattened by the Web chicken.

 

Newton Chicken:

Can't cluck, can't fly, and can't lay eggs, but you can

carry it across the road in your pocket !

 

Cray Chicken:

Crosses faster than any other chicken, but if you don't

dip it in liquid nitrogen first, it arrives on the other

side fully cooked.

 

Quantum Logic Chicken:

The chicken is distributed probabalistically on all sides

of the road until you observe it on the side of your course.

 

Lotus Chicken:

Don't you *dare* try to cross the road the same way we do !

 

Mac Chicken:

No reasonable chicken owner would want a chicken to cross

the road, so there's no way to tell it to.

 

 

 

----------------

 

 

Vava, I too have used the Error 18 at work, but most of the time it was referring to me. :)

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Programmers' Drinking Song

 

100 little bugs in the code,

100 little bugs in the code,

fix one bug, compile it again,

101 little bugs in the code.

 

101 little bugs in the code.....

(Repeat until BUGS = 0)

what a faulty logic dude

 

an infinite loop detected

Welcome to real life software development Harut.

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Software Development Cycle

 

 

Software doesn't just appear on the shelves by magic. That

program shrink-wrapped inside the box along with the

indecipherable manual and 12-paragraph disclaimer notice

actually came to you by way of an elaborate path, through

the most rigid quality control on the planet.

 

Here, shared for the first time with the general public,

are the inside details of the program development cycle.

 

1. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.

 

2. Product is tested. 20 bugs are found.

 

3. Programmer fixes 10 of the bugs and explains to the

testing department that the other 10 aren't really bugs.

 

4. Testing department finds that five of the fixes didn't

work and discovers 15 new bugs.

 

5. See 3.

 

6. See 4.

 

7. See 5.

 

8. See 6.

 

9. See 7.

 

10. See 8.

 

11. Due to marketing pressure and an extremely premature product

announcement based on overly-optimistic programming schedule,

the product is released.

 

12. Users find 137 new bugs.

 

13. Original programmer, having cashed his royalty check,

is nowhere to be found.

 

14. Newly-assembled programming team fixes almost all of

the 137 bugs, but introduce 456 new ones.

 

15. Original programmer sends underpaid testing department

a postcard from Fiji. Entire testing department quits.

 

16. Company is bought in a hostile takeover by competitor

using profits from their latest release, which had 783 bugs.

 

17. New CEO is brought in by board of directors. He hires

programmer to redo program from scratch.

 

18. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free....

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In the computer world, how does a chicken cross the road?

NT Chicken:

Will cross the road in June. No, August. September for sure.

 

OS/2 Chicken:

It crossed the road in style years ago, but it was so quiet

that nobody noticed.

 

Win 95 Chicken:

You see different colored feathers while it crosses, but cook

it and it still tastes like ... chicken.

 

Microsoft Chicken ™:

It's already on both sides of the road. And it just bought

the road.

 

Assembler Chicken:

First it builds the road ...

 

C Chicken:

It crosses the road without looking both ways.

 

C++ Chicken:

The chicken wouldn't have to cross the road, you'd simply

refer to him on the other side.

 

VB Chicken:

USHighways!TheRoad.cross (aChicken)

 

Delphi Chicken:

The chicken is dragged across the road and dropped on

the other side.

 

Java Chicken:

If your road needs to be crossed by a chicken, the server

will download one to the other side.

(Of course, those are chicklets)

 

Web Chicken:

Jumps out onto the road, turns right, and just keeps

on running.

 

Gopher Chicken:

Tried to run, but got flattened by the Web chicken.

 

Newton Chicken:

Can't cluck, can't fly, and can't lay eggs, but you can

carry it across the road in your pocket !

 

Cray Chicken:

Crosses faster than any other chicken, but if you don't

dip it in liquid nitrogen first, it arrives on the other

side fully cooked.

 

Quantum Logic Chicken:

The chicken is distributed probabalistically on all sides

of the road until you observe it on the side of your course.

 

Lotus Chicken:

Don't you *dare* try to cross the road the same way we do !

 

Mac Chicken:

No reasonable chicken owner would want a chicken to cross

the road, so there's no way to tell it to.

 

 

 

----------------

 

 

Vava, I too have used the Error 18 at work, but most of the time it was referring to me. :)

Cool stuff Azat. Did you just make that up?

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I had this interesting experience recently.

I receive an email from Armenia at work. I don't know the person, and the email message is not addressed to me. It has an attachment of a screensaver. I think, what the hell is that? Lets open and see. I try to open, it doesn't do anything, I try to open again, it doesn't work. So I give up on it. A few minutes later I notice my virus protection program closed on its own. I continue working, and there are some funny things going on my computer.

At the end of the day, I go home. As usual, I check my email and see that message from Armenia. I think about it a little, then I say, what the hell was that? Let me try again to open this screensaver. I try, it doesn't open, I try again, it doesn't open, so I give up again. A few minutes later, my virus protection program closes on its own, and now my home computer starts behaving funny. Then I realize that I got a virus, and how dumb I was to open an email from a strange person that was not even addressed to me, and that had a strange attachment, and I did all that twice on the same day! I ended up spending a lot of time to temporarily fix this problem so I could run the virus protection program and get an update (which I had never done before in 3 years). But it proved useful, it turned out there were a lot more viruses on both PCs.

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No I did not Sasun jan.

 

sorry about the virus that you got. A screen-saver is another form of compiled program and they have become a popular was of sending viruses around.

 

Everyone should update their virus applications at least once a month.

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... Everyone should update their virus applications at least once a month.

or every day :) Funny stuff Azat!

 

I just recently got this virus disguised as a .PIF file, packaged in a .zip file! These are some of the files you should worry about on a windows system:

 

exe

com

bat

pif

vbs

scr

 

and document files like: ppt doc xls

 

Of course this doesn't mean other files can't hurt ... the above files are just really easy to make to do horrible things.

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