Ani Posted May 15, 2008 Report Share Posted May 15, 2008 (edited) Welcome to that stage in life where you refuse to take BS anymore. Some get there sooner than others. Yervant jan…I think you’re right it might be from aging as couple of days ago while blow drying my hair two gray hair said “hello” to me… Even though its good that from now on I refuse to get fooled …But what bothers me is that its very hard to live like this, it feels wrenching to go on like this…not being able to believe the words especially from people you love and respect…having second thoughts… I hope after this stage there comes a stage when you develop a natural lie detector in brain and perfectly learn how to smile at the face of a BS…raise an eyebrow at an attempt to be fooled…and reject the unnecessary information... Edited May 15, 2008 by Ani Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ani Posted May 15, 2008 Report Share Posted May 15, 2008 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azat Posted May 15, 2008 Report Share Posted May 15, 2008 for those of you who like the stinking gloomy weather Seattle is a 2 hour flight. bring back the nice and hot days so I can get home at 2AM and get in the pool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MosJan Posted May 15, 2008 Report Share Posted May 15, 2008 ok aper vagh@ hatuk qez hamar 99 astijan !!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maral Posted May 15, 2008 Report Share Posted May 15, 2008 for those of you who like the stinking gloomy weather Seattle is a 2 hour flight. bring back the nice and hot days so I can get home at 2AM and get in the pool. weirdo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yervant1 Posted May 15, 2008 Report Share Posted May 15, 2008 Yervant jan…I think you’re right it might be from aging as couple of days ago while blow drying my hair two gray hair said “hello” to me… Even though its good that from now on I refuse to get fooled …But what bothers me is that its very hard to live like this, it feels wrenching to go on like this…not being able to believe the words especially from people you love and respect…having second thoughts… I hope after this stage there comes a stage when you develop a natural lie detector in brain and perfectly learn how to smile at the face of a BS…raise an eyebrow at an attempt to be fooled…and reject the unnecessary information... Ani Jan, you better get used to it, since you are seeing BS clearly around you it will get even clearer in the future. You have to move beyond that otherwise it will hurt and make you miserable. Because of your kind nature, you tend to ignore the wrong treatment from others but it will catch up with you eventually and bring it up to an explosion point. Let others know how you feel in order to stop the nonsense otherwise it will continue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Em Posted May 15, 2008 Report Share Posted May 15, 2008 I think you guys are looking at it a bit from the wrong angle. No one is comlpetely honest, you should never trust anyone above your own instincts, and no one owes you the truth as you would like it. The world doesn't revolve around me. People have lives, problems, issuses that they would rather not divulge or even admit out loud. Sometimes I don't ask a certain question I need an answer to because I can sense that the person is going to lie to. Maybe it is not for me to know. It is not my place to ask. So I don't put myself or that person in that position. Be it a parent, a friend or a partner. I think it is not healthy to become so attached to people that they become above human for you..meaning that they should never tell a lie, break a promise, or even break your heart. I don't trust anyone is going to care for me above their own skin (with the exception of my mother), and life has proven this to me time and again. Yet in certain relationships, the risking of being lied to, having promises broken or being let down comes with the complete love and surrender you bestow upon that person. Otherwise, it is a false bond- contingent upon and hinged on false expectations and requirements. I know I fail others, so why are they not allowed to fail me? Having said all this, I still curse, scream and shout when someone builds themselves up only to fall from my eyes. But I chalk it up to human nature, and I either forgive or forget and move on. What don't kill you makes you stronger. A friend of mine saw me crying and said.. "Ches amachum, yesel karcumey du uzegh aghchikes. Partvum es? Esqan shut? chesel amachum. Mihat kez havaqi." Hima el yes Ani~in em asum.. mihat kez havaqi! Hl@ ures... sa skizbna... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yervant1 Posted May 15, 2008 Report Share Posted May 15, 2008 Em Jan, I'm not talking about nosy people who makes their business to know everything about you. I don't answer questions nor do I ask one. I tell people what I want them to know and I get to know what they tell me. And when they volunteer to tell me things than I have every right to demand the truth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Em Posted May 15, 2008 Report Share Posted May 15, 2008 Em Jan, I'm not talking about nosy people who makes their business to know everything about you. I don't answer questions nor do I ask one. I tell people what I want them to know and I get to know what they tell me. And when they volunteer to tell me things than I have every right to demand the truth. Understood. But if they don't volunteer, moreover, if they make it known that they don't want to answer a certain question, do you have a right to ask again? And if you are lied to, whose fault is that? Did you not set yourself up for it? I just don't see the point. I'd rahter not ask and avoid being lied to. There are some questions that cannot be answered with "i can't answer that because it may hurt you". You can't plead the fifth amendment with those who are nearest and dearest.. so you tell white lies. That is all I'm saying. Of course those who should not even butt in should be tactfully told to mind their own business. ANd all worthwhile and meaningful relationships should be based on truth and trust, but expecting those two unconditionally is not realistic. Or have I become jaded too early in the game? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yervant1 Posted May 15, 2008 Report Share Posted May 15, 2008 Understood. But if they don't volunteer, moreover, if they make it known that they don't want to answer a certain question, do you have a right to ask again? And if you are lied to, whose fault is that? Did you not set yourself up for it? I just don't see the point. I'd rahter not ask and avoid being lied to. Ask again? Of course not, even the first question is not warranted. In my opinion a conversation should never turn into interrogation, it should be a dialogue. If I respect the person I'm talking with I tell the truth, knowing well that it will hurt them because in the long run they will appreciate the honesty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Em Posted May 15, 2008 Report Share Posted May 15, 2008 Ask again? Of course not, even the first question is not warranted. In my opinion a conversation should never turn into interrogation, it should be a dialogue. If I respect the person I'm talking with I tell the truth, knowing well that it will hurt them because in the long run they will appreciate the honesty. DO not agree with only the last part. Sometimes you do not owe "the honesty" to a person because it isn't for them to know in the first place. Just because someone asks you something doesn't mean you are obligated to answer. I don't know the specific of what Ani is bothered with, but I was using one example in my head when responding to all this. Lets pretend that somehow I found out that my father had a girlfriend before meeting my mother. Let's assume that the fact that he has avoided the question in the past or never alluded to it means that he does not want to tell me about it. Now if I know and love my parent. I respect him and his choice not to tell me, yet I feel that I "have a right to know" and that our relationship built on trust and honesty barrs him from witholding the information, am I in the rigt to pester him and inquire further. Now would you call that being nosy or is his RIGHT not to tell me a sign of breaking trust and lying to me? Sorry to keep going on and on. Just wanted to state that in some circumstances, we are all allowed to lie. Sometimes it has nothing to do with YOU and evertything to do with ME. Am I totally rambling here or was this somewhat coherent? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yervant1 Posted May 15, 2008 Report Share Posted May 15, 2008 DO not agree with only the last part. Sometimes you do not owe "the honesty" to a person because it isn't for them to know in the first place. Just because someone asks you something doesn't mean you are obligated to answer. I don't know the specific of what Ani is bothered with, but I was using one example in my head when responding to all this. I think you are talking about a specific (personal) issue and I'm talking in general. Honesty has got nothing to do with whether you answer a question or not that is your previllage, also I don't know what Ani is bothered with nor do I want to know. Lets pretend that somehow I found out that my father had a girlfriend before meeting my mother. Let's assume that the fact that he has avoided the question in the past or never alluded to it means that he does not want to tell me about it. Now if I know and love my parent. I respect him and his choice not to tell me, yet I feel that I "have a right to know" and that our relationship built on trust and honesty barrs him from witholding the information, am I in the rigt to pester him and inquire further. Now would you call that being nosy or is his RIGHT not to tell me a sign of breaking trust and lying to me? Being honest with someone does not mean that you are obliged to tell that person everything about your life, nor should you expect them to tell you about theirs, some things are private and it's better to keep it that way. But if the information is relevant to the relationship then the it's neccessary to tell the truth. Sorry to keep going on and on. Just wanted to state that in some circumstances, we are all allowed to lie. Sometimes it has nothing to do with YOU and evertything to do with ME. Am I totally rambling here or was this somewhat coherent? Of course we all lie here and there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Em Posted May 15, 2008 Report Share Posted May 15, 2008 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ani Posted May 15, 2008 Report Share Posted May 15, 2008 Em, no one owes me the truth, you’re right...I'm not looking for the truth, and I wasn’t talking about the truth, nor I’m being nosy and asking difficult-to-be-answered-questions, I really don’t care about things people don’t wanna tell me, I have enough on my mind… What I care about is that the world is a very lonely and disgusting place where there become less and less people you can look in the eyes and trust their words, this NOT questions and answers about personal life, or family problems, or the truth… I think i could not put in words whatever i was trying say...Its OK... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Em Posted May 15, 2008 Report Share Posted May 15, 2008 It is easier just to call you, so I will respond via phone after work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hetanos Posted May 15, 2008 Report Share Posted May 15, 2008 My impression of the day. Not much changed in bb world since late 90s. Same insults and misunderstanding. In any case, nice to be back after long hiatus. Hi everyone. Hi Maral Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MosJan Posted May 16, 2008 Report Share Posted May 16, 2008 My impression of the day computerese and printers are good good for target practice !!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zara Posted May 16, 2008 Report Share Posted May 16, 2008 Have you been watching Office Space too much? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MosJan Posted May 16, 2008 Report Share Posted May 16, 2008 Have you been watching Office Space too much? Zarajan i only watch / CSI + HArevanner + Blef + 32 Atam + PS + The Shield + Lost + Prison Break Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yervant1 Posted May 16, 2008 Report Share Posted May 16, 2008 Zarajan i only watch / CSI + HArevanner + Blef + 32 Atam + PS + The Shield + Lost + Prison Break No more Mosjan it's Mosicana! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zara Posted May 16, 2008 Report Share Posted May 16, 2008 (edited) Zarajan i only watch / CSI + HArevanner + Blef + 32 Atam + PS + The Shield + Lost + Prison Break Didn't anyone ever tell you all that television is bad for your eyes? About Office Space, I meant the movie. Edited May 16, 2008 by Zara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ani Posted May 16, 2008 Report Share Posted May 16, 2008 Aging and everything that comes with it… There is an old saying that sounds better in Armenian (տարիքը խելոքին խելք է ավելացնում, հիմարին հիմարություն). It basically says that years add wisdom to the intelligent, and make the empty sound of the stupid louder and more annoying…I understand that this goes for every personality trend we have. Years act like sharpeners, by the time they sharpen every flaw of ours. In biological psychology it is believed that before the age of twenty five our emotions control over logic. It has been found that our frontal lobe gets fully developed on and after the age of twenty five, and we tend to be less emotional and more logical. Although, I am no one to state opinions (I think or I hope Hyeforum is the only place I am allowed to do so) I think what we learn after that age is how to hide our emotions, they still act up and get sharpened by the years, but we have better skills to hide them, while as teenagers we are unaware of those skills. If one person has tendency to overreact, it get worse by the time, and even if they’re able to hide and prevent the actual collision, it cracks them inside. Yervant talked about the stage that we hit in our lives where we just don’t accept the BS anymore. I realized that there is another misconception we’ve always been taught. It is believed that as years pass we become more tolerant, we face challenges with understanding and an open mind. I think it’s a huge mislead. Years decrease our tolerance. We become mean and intolerant; we stick to what we’ve learned so far, and despise whatever is different. We seek refuge (lately I was embarrassed to find my misuse of the ward refugee) in different things, we become alcoholics, workaholics, addicts. The only things years give us are the acting skills. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Em Posted May 16, 2008 Report Share Posted May 16, 2008 (edited) ... Edited May 16, 2008 by Em Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nairi Posted May 16, 2008 Report Share Posted May 16, 2008 Years decrease our tolerance. We become mean and intolerant; we stick to what we’ve learned so far, and despise whatever is different. In other words, we become like children again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zara Posted May 16, 2008 Report Share Posted May 16, 2008 (edited) It's so freaking HOT! I don't know how this guy does it. There must be some sort of method to [t]his madness.----------> Edited May 16, 2008 by Zara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.