as i see it - Pt. I

[ara baliozian]

LATER THE SAME DAY

********************************

1. When I was young I never agreed with my elders, but what they said

remained with me and one day, many years later, I discovered how spectacularly wrong I had been. I would like to write letters to them and apologize but most of them are dead and the rest I have lost track.

2. America is bad, bad, bad, we are reminded; but is the rest of the world

better? The rest of the world does not claim to be the best, we are told. No, that’s right. The rest of the world doesn't say that. What the rest of the world says is, God is on our side. Justice is on our side. Truth is on our side. And moral superiority is on our side too….

3. If you agree with me once or twice a year, that should be good enough for

both of us. Remember the right and forget or discard the wrong. Only God is always right, but so far He has refused to take side.

4. Turks slaughter with yataghans, Armenians with words. Turks slaughter Armenians, Armenians slaughter Armenians.

5. I don't judge my friends. I don't even judge my friends’ friends – even when they happen to be carcinogenic agents.

[ara baliozian]

PARALLEL LIVES

**************************

Anna Akhmatova and Sylva Kaputikian.

Two Soviet poets: the first anti-Soviet, the second pro-Soviet.

Anna was labeled "a half-nun, half whore," by the Kremlin and refused

publication. How did she survive? Barely -- but members of her family

didn't. (When Stalin didn't like you, he didn't always kill you: he

killed your family.)

Sylva was translated into Russian, was awarded the Stalin Prize, became a

best-seller and earned several million rubles in royalties. In her

voluminous travel impressions she portrayed the world as a place in need

of Soviet enlightenment.

Speaking of life under Stalin, Anna Akhmatova wrote: "It was a time when

only the dead smiled, / happy in their peace."

After the collapse of the Soviet regime, Sylva portrayed herself as a

Soviet dissident.

The whole world reads and respects Anna Akhmatova.

Who reads Sylva Kaputikian?

A handful of Armenian dupes, not all of them Ramgavars. And if you want

to know why, read the memoirs of Stalin’s daughter, where she writes:

"Stalin is gone but his shadow still stands over all of us. It still

dictates to us and we, very often, obey."

[Boghos]

Sylva Kaputikian is a for hire semi-literate intellectual. A shame, no doubt. However passing that rigorous a judgement wouldn´t be justified were it not for the fact that she remained a Stalinist much longer after Stalin´s death. She also took advantage of government sponsored travel in order to reward the diaspora with her incomparable gifts when it came to declamation.

You know that Khachaturian wrote an Ode to Stalin ?

[ara baliozian]

She was also an agent of the KGB -- like all writers who were members of the Writers' Union, and as such it was her sworn duty to denounce anyone (especially other writers) who strayed from the path. We have no idea how many writers she denounced but we will on the day the Armenian KGB files are returned to Yerevan from Kiev, where they have been transferred I think. / ara

[ara baliozian]

PRESENT COMPANY SUSPECTED

(MYSELF INCLUDED)

********************************************************

1. It takes fanatics to commit massacres and it takes fanatics to survive

them.

To an anti-American Armenian the USA is another Ottoman Empire.

2. There are some contradictions whose intent is not to prove you wrong

but to wear you down.

3. An Armenian discussion forum is not a society of mutual admiration

but a vipers nest of reciprocal venom.

4. You can't reason with fanatics. Zohrab tried it with Talaat and we all

know what happened to him. We also know what happened to Talaat. Which

may suggest that fanaticism is not always a guarantee for a long and

happy life.

5. Losers don't like being losers, so they invent a myth in which they

portray themselves as winners and after a while they confuse myth with

reality.

6. My anti-American friends tell me God is pro-Arab. Not being on intimate

terms with the Good Lord I have no idea where He stands on that issue.

But whenever God is mentioned in a political argument I wish I had a

revolver so that I could reach for it.

7. To how many of my fellow Armenians I could say: Just because you and I are Armenians, don't think we share anything in

common.

8. When an Armenian decides to disagree with you, he will do so even when he knows he is no longer making any sense.

9. After being an Armenian all my life I am now busy discovering what it

means to be a human being. I no longer waste my time to think about

Armenianism. Let those who preach Armenianism define it. Even better, let

them stop practicing Ottomanism.

10. There is a saying in Africa: "You chop, my self I chop, palaver finish."

Translation: You do your thing. I do my thing. And that’s the end of the

story.

Armenian discussions in a nut shell. Armenian history in a nutshell.

[ara baliozian]

Wednesday, November 21, 2001

***********************************

1. The problem with America is that it is run by politicians. Barbers, taxi

drivers and Armenian pundits could do a better jobs. But barbers are too busy cutting hair, taxi drivers are too busy driving cabs, and Armenian pundits are too busy obstructing the path of those who are trying to solve Armenian problems.

2. When on the wrong side of an argument, an Armenian is unbeatable.

3. To be critical of America: nothing easier. Even Americans are critical of

America. But mullah-inspired and recycled anti-Americanism reminds me of sharks circling and waiting for traces of blood to appear in the water.

As for Armenian anti-Americanism: the expression "hungry Armenian" is

beginning to acquire a new dimension for me.

4. It has been said that, where there is a problem, people are divided into those who are part of the problem or part of the solution. If so far we have failed to solve our problems it’s because we are all on the side of the solution but of which problem? -- that’s where we disagree.

[ara baliozian]

Thursday, November 22, 2001

*******************************

1. When a man who has never experienced fascism speaks of fascism,

he is like a blind man discussing modern art.

2. Misanthropy: When you start wondering why some people are alive.

3. History repeats itself because men repeat themselves.

This rule has only one exception: Armenian pundits.

4. A man who cannot admit error cannot accept his humanity.

5. Under fascism people are divided into bullies and cowards.

Democracy grants more options: one can be a charlatan or a dupe; also an

honest man who is not persecuted when he declares: "A plague on both your

houses!"

6. Some people collect stamps or coins. I collect insults. But I am not

complaining. I am one of the lucky. Many others never made it to middle

age. Any day now I will be knocking at the gate of senility. A senile

Armenian writer! That must be a first. I might even earn a citation in

the Guinness Book of Records.

7. To my anti-American friends, the serpent in the Garden of Eden was a CIA

agent in disguise. To my anti-Semitic friends, Attila the Hun, Ivan the

Terrible, and Jack the Ripper were Jews.

[ara baliozian]

LATER THE SAME DAY

[Thursday, November 22, 2001]

***********************************

 

1. No matter how expensive the wine, its destiny is to become urine.

No matter how noble the ideology, the destiny of its Party line is to become a downward spiral.

No matter how admirable the -ism,

its destiny is to degenerate from charlatanism to gangsterism.

2. Only those who think of themselves as indestructible attempt to destroy an idea and they are invariably destroyed by the idea.

3. I say what I think not because I am paid a regular salary or hope to enhance my power and prestige, but because I have had enough of lies and charlatans and I have no affection for bloodsuckers and gravediggers.

4. Foreign scholars have praised our art, architecture, and music, even our

mountains, rivers, and valleys. But, as far as I know, none of them has ever said anything remotely kind about our statesmanship. When Avedik Issahakian said: "We have been cursed with natural disasters, bloodthirsty neighbors, and brainless leaders," he was saying something

very similar.

5. I see my countrymen as a tiny fraction of mankind, and I am on the side

of the exploited and oppressed. Between a hungry man and a fat-bellied

slob, my sympathies will always be with the hungry even if he happens to

be a Turk and the fat one a bishop. When General Antranik declared: "I am

not a nationalist. I recognize only one nation, the nation of the

oppressed," he meant something very similar too.

[ara baliozian]

Friday, November 23, 2001

*******************************

 

1. Where there is an oversized ego there will also be an undersized brain.

2. Compared to what there is to know, what I know is such a minuscule

fraction that I might as well be a complete ignoramus. But I can

recognize a contradiction when I see one.

3. It’s all right to be prejudiced as long as you have an open mind.

4. History teaches us that it is easier to learn from it than to change it.

5. Once you know the truth, you cannot hide it and you cannot hide yourself

from it; and the more you try to bury it, the more it buries you.

6. Tone deafness and color blindness have their moral and political

equivalents: individuals who cannot tell the difference between honesty

and charlatanism or democracy and fascism.

[ara baliozian]

Saturday, November 24, 2001

********************************

1. A BRIEF HISTORY OF SOVIET LITERATURE

The best were silenced.

The worst prospered.

2.A BRIEF HISTORY OF ARMENIAN LITERATURE

Those who spoke the truth starved.

Those who kissed ass were allowed to survive…but only barely.

3. We don't have an exchange of views. What we have is an exchange of egos.

4. Arguing with an Armenian is like arguing with a bishop or a commissar:

afterwards you feel slightly excommunicated and executed.

5. Dario Fo (winner of the 1997 Nobel Prize for Literature) writes: "People

who are up to their necks in shit walk with their heads held high."

When, O when will we produce writers capable of writing such lines?

6. In the Ottoman Empire the Turks looked down at merchants. We in the

Diaspora worship them – even when they happen to be merchants of death.

7. It’s not easy dealing with Armenians, but it helps if you are deaf to their insults and blind to their defects.

[MJ]

I think they are taken to Stavropol, along with many former KGB officers, who have had direct participation in the repressions and arrests of some prominant Armenians.

[ara baliozian]

LATER THE SAME DAY

[Friday, November 23, 2001]

***********************************

 

1. In politics, and in life in general, it is not enough being right; one

must also be reasonable. It’s easy being right (especially if you are to

decide who is wrong); much more difficult being reasonable because it

entails convincing others. It may be right for the Arabs to hate the

West, but is it reasonable to want to destroy it? It may be right to

terrorize and threaten the Jews with another holocaust, but is it

reasonable to expect that they will not defend themselves? It may right

to attack America but is it reasonable to call those who defend it racist

imperialists who don't deserve to live?

2. I understand those who speak in the name of God. I too speak in the name

of God, with one difference. My God doesn't exist. He is more like a

point of a reference, an abstraction, a concept like zero and infinity.

And since my God doesn't exist, He is honest enough to promise me

nothing.

3. On the day nationalists learn to love their country without hating

another I will be a chauvinist.

4.I enjoy reading writers who know something I don't know even if what they

know may be only the memory of an experience or feeling I never had. As

for writers who do nothing but recycle the kind of propaganda I was

exposed to as a child, I have every reason to suspect their unspoken

motto is: "Love me, love my verbal diarrhea!"

[ara baliozian]

RENDER UNTO CAESAR

*****************************

It is often said that the Middle East problem has no solution. But the

solution was clearly found two thousand years ago. When Jesus said

"Render unto Caesar," he was not promoting defeatism, collaboration,

treason, fascism, imperialism, injustice and oppression: he was making a

politically astute statement. And because the Jewish warriors of his

time, who, very much like Arafat and his gang of fanatics today, thought

with their cojones rather than their brains, they chose resistance thus

condemning the nation to two thousand years of exile, degradation,

persecution, and massacre. By refusing to render unto Ariel Sharon and

Bush, Arafat may be condemning his nation to decades, perhaps even

centuries of unnecessary suffering. He is not a hero and a statesman. He

is a damn fool. And his suicidal fanatics are not martyrs and freedom

fighters but dupes of chauvinist crap and lies.

[ara baliozian]

Sunday, November 25, 2001

*********************************

1. I once met an Armenian lawyer from Istanbul who berated me for my lack of

patriotism but he did so in Turkish.

2. Political correctness might as well be synonymous with semantic fascism.

If a man exposes himself as a racist by using a single politically

incorrect word, I say, by all means, let him. At least that way we will

know where we stand. It will save time and cut through unnecessary verbal

crap.

3. I welcome criticism. I find it stimulating even when it is wrong;

especially when it is wrong. What I can't stand is a dog taking me for a

lamp-post and pissing on me, and calling it criticism hoping the

difference will escape me.

4. Sometimes I am criticized for never admitting error. What utter nonsense!

On more than one occasion I have identified myself as walking blunder. I am an Armenian writer.

5. In a market economy and an environment controlled by business, where even

the Vatican has investments in contraceptives, I consider being

unmarketable one of the cardinal virtues.

6. We call Armenian anyone who identifies himself as one. That’s a big mistake. Ottomanized bastards are not Armenians; they don't even qualify as human beings.

7. I have no use for humility. Most humble people are phonies. Some of them are even proud of their humility. Self disgust, yes, I respect that. In my book, an ounce of self-disgust is worth a ton of humility.

8. Among Armenians everyone thinks he can tell a writer what to think and how to write. You should write this and you should write that, I am told.

You shouldn't write this and you shouldn't write that. They should all

over me and expect me to be grateful to them.

9. Some readers expect me to be polite, tolerant, civilized. They drown me in shit and demand style. You want manners? Read Emily Post and quit bothering me.

[ara baliozian]

Monday, November 26, 2001

*******************************

1. Ottoman anti-Armenianism,

Nazi anti-Semitism,

Muslim anti-Americanism:

subtle minds may see differences in kind and degree here, but I don't.

2. When Dick Gregory titled his autobiography NIGGER he may have been

echoing Zola’s "J’accuse." If I ever write mine I may title it SON OF A

WHORE.

3. The most impregnable castles are those that are built with dogmas.

4. The function of a book is to read reality.

To see beauty in ugliness is not reading but embroidering.

5. A culture that produces commissars has not advanced a single step from

barbarism.

6. Armenians may sometimes agree on Turks but they agree on nothing else.

Whatever national solidarity we have we owe it to the Turks.

Our murderers have become are our benefactors.

7. I see nothing wrong in being wrong.

But I see something horribly wrong in being always right.

8. I could be the happiest man on earth were it not for the delusion that

it is reasonable to reason with my fellow Armenians.

9. One must be smart to be wealthy but one must be a damn fool to say "I've

got it made!"

10. Some men may create masterpieces but some women are born masterpieces.

[ara baliozian]

THE THEORY AND PRACTICE OF RACISM

********************************************

1. Some Armenians love Turkish music. That’s all right. Nothing wrong in that. None whatever. To each his own. Live and let live. What I find slightly suspicious however is when this type of Armenian has no interest in any other kind of music, including Armenian music. He may even think

Turkish music is Armenian music.

2. Being Armenian is an abnormal condition.

Being an Armenian writer is compounding the felony.

3. There are two kinds of Arabs: those who say they love America and those who say they hate it. I believe those who say they hate it.

4. I have met many Armenians from the Middle East and with one exception they all hate America and Israel. Sometimes they are careful to say they don't hate all Jews and all Americas only Zionists and the foreign

policies of the American government. But that’s only to camouflage their racism. Because, come to think of it, I have never heard any one of them say anything remotely unkind about Hitler. I am not saying they love Hitler. No, no! They may even hate him -- but not because he tried to exterminate the Jews but because he failed to do so. Some go further and say, the holocaust is a Zionist conspiracy whose ultimate goal is to take over the world.

[ara baliozian]

FATHER AND SON

**************************

Not all Palestinians are fools and dupes. I bet, even as I write these

lines, at least one Palestinian father is saying to his son: "There is no

future in being a freedom fighter. Those damn Jews are here to stay and

as long as they have American support a hundred Arafats and a thousand

Bin Ladens can do nothing about it. You are my son and I love you. You

are more precious to me than a thousand dead Jews. Don’t be a dope. Don’t

listen to those bearded buggers. They don’t know what they are saying. If

you want to bonk babes, you have a better chance down here than up there.

Even better, go to America. That’s what smart Palestinians do. Think of

Edward Said, your cousin twice or thrice removed – I have lost track…. If

you ever talk to him he will tell you, one real American slut is better

than 72 non-existent Arab virgins."

[ara baliozian]

Tuesday, November 27, 2001

********************************

1. What drives arguments is neither "I know" nor "You don't know" but "I know better."

2. I think it was either Freud or Jung who said, fanatics are happier and

healthier people than moderates because they have no doubts, anxieties,

uncertainties, complexes and phobias; they don't waver, hesitate,rationalize, explain and justify. They know not only what they want but also how to get it.

3. Sometimes I am asked: "If you hate being an Armenian writer, why don't you quit?" "Because," I explain, "I hate giving pleasure to my enemies even more."

4. Anyone who considers himself infallible inhabits a realm that is not open to reason.

5. The easiest way to deal with an unpleasant truth is to call the speaker a

liar.

6. May I confess that I have no interest – none whatever! -- in reforming

America. History has taught me, when it comes to reforming empires, we

Armenians haven't had much luck.

7. Great men don't think of themselves as great because the problems they confront are greater than they. It’s the little people who cackle and crow long before they have laid an egg.

8. With very few exceptions most Armenian-Americans from the Middle East

hate America but wild horses couldn't drag them back to the Middle East –

unless of course they find themselves on the FBI’s most wanted list.

[ara baliozian]

Wednesday, November 28, 2001

**********************************

1. If we, who have nothing to defend and protect except our insignificant

egos, cannot come to terms, what are we to think of our bosses and

bishops with their long history of partisans rivalries and feuds? Once

tribal, always tribal: is that our collective destiny?

2. It has been said that empires behave like gangsters and oppressed nations

like pimps: yes, but pimps whose secret ambition is to be gangsters.

3. It has also been said that hate binds us to our adversaries as surely as

love does to our beloved. Which is why it is healthier to loathe. To

loathe is like hating without strings attached.

4. Whoever finds a way to manufacture comfortable illusions is destined to

be the wealthiest man that ever lived.

5. Misery likes company, they say. That may well be one reason why I would

like to convert fanatics. I can't stand their smug self-satisfaction,

their misplaced self-esteem, their infatuation with their own

intellectual prowess, and their arrogant dogmatism based on the totally

absurd assumption that they have all the answers. Call it envy!

6. You want to convince your adversary? Pretend to be detached. Nothing

damages an argument as much as emotional involvement. Try the following

experiment: scream 2+2=4 and whisper 2+2=22 and see which makes more

sense.

[Twilight Bark]

Mr. Baliozian supposedly wants to see Armenians to become a monolithic army-nation. Nazi Germany and Mongolian Empire come to mind, not to mention the self-image of Turkey. His superficial mind cannot understand that divisions, "feuds", and partisanship are part and parcel of pluralistic, individualist societies. Armenians have practiced it for a long time without giving them such fancy names. For all its "shortcomings", the world has been evolving toward such societies.



It has been said only by self-serving members of the powerful nations, or intellectual and moral simpletons. Such a view is disgustingly pessimistic. It equalizes the murderer with the victim by saying "Oh shut up! You would have done the same if you had the chance". Believe it or not, there are significant differences in the collective behaviors of cultures. Some are aggressive, and some are not. In Mr. Baliozian's sick mind, the oppressed nations and the empires are morally equivalent, except that the oppressed are actually worse because they are "losers" who cannot get their act together for a good old fashioned invasion, theft and slaughter. And all cultures lust after these wonderful activities with varying degrees of success. I will stick with my view of humanity. I stand in awe of the Neanderthal (wo)men that placed flowers in the burial site of their family members. I refuse to believe that we are an evolutionary step backward, when we are as capable of love.



Try loving your extended family of Armenians some time. It will be a new, refreshing feeling for you.



I hope you are able to recognize yourself in that description.



What can I say? Tools of the trade; from the toolbox of a third-rate "thinker".

[ara baliozian]

YESTERDAY, TODAY AND TOMORROW

********************************************

The Israeli-Palestinian conflict exposes an aspect of our Genocide that

so far may have escaped notice.

When Ambassador Morgenthau pointed out to Talaat that not all Armenians

were guilty, Talaat is said to have replied: "They may not be guilty

today but after what we have done to them we cannot count on their

innocence forever," or words to that effect. In other words: If you don't

exterminate the whole tribe today, you may end up prolonging the conflict

ad infinitum and ad nauseam.

If the Israeli-Palestinian conflict continues indefinitely, as tribal

feuds tend to do in the Middle East, the number of casualties may reach,

perhaps even exceed, the number of victims of World War I in the Ottoman

Empire. To put it differently: our children and grandchildren would be

busy pelting stones and being shot at in Istanbul, Izmir and Van, we

would be making headlines in the international press every day (to the

annoyance, perhaps even disgust, of the entire world) and an

international array of pundits would pontificate and say: "The

Armeno-Turkish problem has no solution."

[ara baliozian]

TO RECAPITULATE

****************************

I am not pro-American, only anti-anti-Americanism.

I am not pro-Israel, or pro-Zionism only anti-anti-Semitism.

Neither am I anti-Arab.

I consider despotism evil regardless of nationality.

I think despots are evil men, but even more evil are those who consent to

be ruled by them. And it makes no difference to me if they are active,

silent, or passive supporters of a despotic regime; or supporters who are

motivated by self-interest, ignorance or cowardice. Because sooner or

later all these supporters will discover a truth that is a constant in

human history: Despots exist because their subjects consent to be ruled

by coercion.

Subservience and cowardice don't recognize national barriers and a nation

that allows itself to be bullied by a small gang of thugs does not

deserve anyone’s sympathy or support.

I have nothing but contempt for an army willing to die for a despot but

not in defense of fundamental human rights. And if I ever find myself

living under a despotic regime and accepting my fate as an inevitable

fact of life, I will have nothing but contempt for myself.

To those who say, if the Arabs don't mind their despots, why should you?

Besides, it’s in their culture. I say: I despise a culture that

legitimizes injustice, subservience and violations of human rights the

way I despise a culture of cannibalism; and I am sure you would too if

you found yourself on the menu.

[Twilight Bark]

... and was waiting to be noticed by a super-genius equipped with infinite wisdom and piercing vision.



Thus spake our sage. Now you simpletons know that we are supposed to be grateful for the "Final Solution".

You see, we wouldn't want to be a nuiscance to the nice civilized people who'd rather be shopping. Aren't you happy that we are now much less of a nuiscance than what would happen if the Final Solution was not implemented? Pheew, that was a close one.

[ara baliozian]

IN CONCLUSION

***********************

Like most oppressed people we are the double victims of two sets of

despots:

foreign and domestic.

During World War II Armenians fought and killed one another in the name

of Stalin and Hitler. If the Armenians on Stalin’s sides had no choice,

what about the Armenians on Hitler’s side? Who coerced or brainwashed

them? Did they believe in Hitler’s promise to liberate Armenia?

We were victims of genocide because we were oppressed by the Turks.

We were oppressed by the Turks because we were defeated by them.

We were defeated by them because our little despots failed to detribalize

and unite the people. And they failed to do that because they were too

busy protecting and defending their own little despotic powers and

privileges.

We have been and continue to be double victims:

victims of the enemy and victims of our own tribal little despots.

Ignorance produces despots and despots rule over the ignorant.

Ignorance of history produces political dupes who believe in the most

outrageous lies, such as: when Hitler promises, he delivers; when bin

Laden says Americans are evil, he speaks the truth; and when mullahs say

Jews are bloodsuckers, they can't be wrong.

[ara baliozian]

Friday, November 30, 2001

********************************

1. American capitalism is not an ideology but gangsterism by other means, and as such, it might as well be a crime against humanity. What has guaranteed its respectability and survival is Marxism and all its bastardized progeny – from Leninism and Stalinism to Maoism and Castroism

with all their crypto- and neo- variants.

2. If you use your common sense and common decency you can't stray too far from the path. You would think that to be good advice. Well, yes, it is, provided you keep in mind that common sense is the least common faculty in the world and common decency flies out the window when self-interest enters.

3. Hegel says somewhere that when words are not followed by action they become empty verbiage and meaningless noise. A great thought. An admirable observation. Wonderful advice. Except for one thing: it became

a favorite fascist motto.

4. Since they cannot brag about past victories our partisans promise future

ones, and there are those who believe them.

5. Whenever an Armenian agrees with me, he makes it abundantly clear that he is delighted to see me catching up with him.

6. Americans welcome criticism and they cherish their dissidents because they know America is bigger than all its critics. Only the abysmally insecure think they can be demolished by a handful of paragraphs.