Azat Posted August 5, 2002 Report Share Posted August 5, 2002 Stressed out today? Cheer up! Modern medicine has come up with some great new stuff to make life easier. St. Mom's Wort ... Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours. Empty Nestrogen ... Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait til they moved out. Peptobimbo ... Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting. Dumerol ... When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low I.Q. causing enjoyment of country western music. Flipitor .. Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers. Antiboyotics ... When administered to teenage girls, is highly effective in improving grades, freeing up phone lines, and reducing money spent on make-up. Menicillin ... Potent antiboyotic for older women. Increases resistance to such lines as, "You make me want to be a better person ... can we get naked now?" Buyagra ... Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and duration of spending spree. Extra Strength Buy-one-all ... When combined with Buyagra, can cause an indiscriminant buying frenzy so severe the victim may even come home with a Donnie Osmond CD or a book by Dr. Laura. Jack Asspirin ... Relieves the headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number. Anti-talksident ... A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers. Sexcedrin ... Bedroom aerosol spray for men. More effective than Excedrin in treating the, "Not now, dear, I have a headache," syndrome. Ragamet ... When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as ragging on him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself. Men-Gay ... A rub-in ointment that enables single women to identify who to cross off the dating pool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THOTH Posted August 5, 2002 Report Share Posted August 5, 2002 LOL - quite good. Azat's post here is well worth a read - very funny. Too bad some of these new drugs don't indeed exist! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sip Posted August 6, 2002 Report Share Posted August 6, 2002 quote:Originally posted by Azat:Peptobimbo ... Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting.That is some funny stuff! For a while I was getting this junk emails about pills that increase the "male organ" size ... but then after about a year or so, they stopped. Now I am getting all this junk mail for pills that increase breast size !!!! http://zr2.cs.ucla.edu/Sip/zr2/roflmao.gif Actually, there was some other company that was sending a ton of junk mail to my address a couple of years ago. They started off as saying 3 hot young girls waiting for you ... then a few weeks later, I was getting things like 10 hot girls are ready waiting for you... and so forth until they got up to 47 hot beautiful girls waiting for you ... ... imagine my complete shock a couple of weeks later when all of a sudden, I started getting mail saying 3 hot men waiting for you!!!!! I gotta give them for at least trying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MosJan Posted August 7, 2002 Report Share Posted August 7, 2002 Azat haw do i get this staf ??? i might nned some of it soon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rubo Posted August 7, 2002 Report Share Posted August 7, 2002 HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN Wine her, Dine her, Call her, Hug her, Support her, Hold her, Surprise her, Compliment her, Smile at her, Listen to her, Laugh with her, Cry with her, Romance her, Believe in her, Cuddle with her, Shop with her, Give her Jewelry, Buy her flowers, Buy her candles to use when she takes a bath, Hold her hand, Write love letters to her, Go to the end of the earth and back again for her. HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN: Show up naked. Bring chicken wings and beer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sip Posted August 7, 2002 Report Share Posted August 7, 2002 Very funny Rubo ... and the amazing thing is that for most men, probably either one would work while for women, you probably have to do all of those things! ---Edit. Actually, upon closer inspection I just noticed that you had ','s in the women's list and '.'s in the men's list which probably indicates what I was trying to say above! [ August 07, 2002, 05:19 PM: Message edited by: Sip ] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harut Posted August 8, 2002 Report Share Posted August 8, 2002 quote:Originally posted by Sip:for most men, probably either one would work agreed, showing up naked should be enough for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MosJan Posted August 8, 2002 Report Share Posted August 8, 2002 yes dzez het 55 tary heto k@xosem tesnem inch eq anelu et tklorneri het gone qyaftar vaxt hot wings kuteq mi kusht / jahel orer@ k@hisheq Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anahid Takouhi Posted August 9, 2002 Report Share Posted August 9, 2002 yes el nouyn gardziki em ko hed mossoo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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