Azat Posted April 5, 2002 Report Share Posted April 5, 2002 Any engineers in the crowd? ----------- Understanding Engineers Take One:Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit." Understanding Engineers - Take Two:To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. Understanding Engineers-Take Three:What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers? Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets. Understanding Engineers-Take FourThe graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?" Understanding Engineers-Take FiveThree engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections." The last said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?" Understanding Engineers-Take SixNormal people ... believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet." --- [scott Adams, The Dilbert Principle] Understanding Engineers-Take SevenAn architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like both." "Both?" the architect and artist asked. The engineer said, "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work done." Understanding Engineers - Take EightAn engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess". He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool." [ April 05, 2002, 03:30 PM: Message edited by: Azat ] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wh00t Posted April 5, 2002 Report Share Posted April 5, 2002 Engineering seems a likely field for me to enter (I'll have to choose in less than a years time.. yikes). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Fadi Posted April 5, 2002 Report Share Posted April 5, 2002 Lol whOOt... ... then here is your place. http://www.polymtl.ca/fr/fr/index.php You can't find any better place in Montreal, tell me French is a nono for you, and I'll kill you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wh00t Posted April 5, 2002 Report Share Posted April 5, 2002 Domino, sorry but I've lived in Anglophone Canada (Toronto and Nova Scotia) for most of my life so I won't be going to a French university! Hopefully my marks will be good enough to get into McGill.. we'll see! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Fadi Posted April 6, 2002 Report Share Posted April 6, 2002 Wait untill I find you, and I'll... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sip Posted April 6, 2002 Report Share Posted April 6, 2002 Those were great !!! Here's another one: An Engineer, a mathematician, and a computer scientist were riding on a train through England. At some point they were all looking at a field full of sheep, one of which was black and caught the attention of all three ... All of a sudden, the Engineer said: "Oh look, they have black sheep in England!" The mathematician paused for a second and responded: "No, There exists at least one sheep in England with one side that is black." ... at the same time the computer science guy jumped in the middle of the conversation screaming: "Look, a Special Case, a Special Case!!!!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Fadi Posted April 6, 2002 Report Share Posted April 6, 2002 Thats not a mathematician answer... This should have been his answer. "No, There exists at least one sheep in England with [at least] one side that is black." I would then conclude that this person was a fake mathematician and forgot an important detail. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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