Three Cheers for Turkish Mythinformation

[Armat]

You guys going to love this.Sorry Arpa I didn't post it in comedy section.

 

Diplomats, strategists, and journalists have been scratching their collective heads in the past few years to explain the megalomaniacal political ambitions of Recep Erdogan’s and Ahmed Davutoglu’s Turkey. Yes, the country has experienced several years of economic halcyon times, but a bubbling economy is ephemeral: It can bite the dust in a shockingly short time.

 

So what is fueling the so-called Neo-Ottomanism of Erdogan and Co.?

To understand the bizarre phenomenon of Ankara puffing up to influence political developments in the Middle East, North Africa, the Balkans, and in the Moslem world, one has to go back some 80 years—to the era of dictator Mustafa Kemal—a man who self-styled himself “Father of the Turks” (Ataturk), although he was a deunme--Jewish convert to Islam.

 

Kemal, the “Victor over the Infidels” (another self-assumed title), was a habitué of brothels; although some people maintain the often drunk “great man” was a closet homosexual. Kemal, a bachelor, liked young ladies to such an extent that he adopted four of them, including a survivor of the Genocide of Armenians. One day one of the girls he had adopted, named Afet, came to Father Kemal, complaining that there was nothing positive about the Turks in European history books. Considering that the Ottomans have, for centuries, ravaged Eastern and Central Europe, and the Middle East, the European take would have seemed logical to any reasonable person. Besides, until a few decades before the fall of the Ottomans, Turk within the empire meant a peasant, a country bumpkin.

 

That Afet, who had studied history, and her “father” were shocked by European historians’ take is an anomaly. Surely, they didn’t expect glowing reports about Turkish barbarians who lay waste wherever their horses trampled. The glory days of the Ottomans lasted barely a century. The rot set in immediately after Sultan Suleiman was succeeded (1566) by his son, Selim II. An intemperate alcoholic, Selim II was to set the tone for the empire’s succeeding 25 corrupt, incompetent and fratricidal rulers who were manipulated by their shrewd viziers, concubines, eunuchs and Sublime Porte courtiers and hangers-on. Thus, it’s inexplicable that Erdogan and his straight man, Davutoglu, hail their foreign policy as Neo-Ottomanism.

 

But back to the bloody soldier from Salonika. Something had to be done to “correct” the Western infidels’ perception of Immortal Turkey--and pronto! He swiftly put together a committee of “scholars” to write the history of the Turkish people. Obedient servants of Ataturk, the scribes produced such a tome in 1930. But Kemal was not impressed by the effort. Although he had no academic background, let alone knowledge of history studies, the Father of Turks edited the errors of his minions. He was out to manufacture the history of the Turks, and by God, he would not let historic truth stand on his way. A four-volume version, “corrected” by Kemal, was published the following year. The man was fast with his pencil, just as he was fast with his yataghan sword. The four tomes became a compulsory historicism on Turkish curriculums.

 

Called simply “History,” the books were—unintentionally-- the funniest thing since Hoja Nassreddin hit the road. The books were also more inventive than anything Jonathan Swift, Jules Verne and H.G. Wells could have dreamt. It was a farrago of an opus which took the readers’ breath away.

 

The core of the Kemal’s literary piece de resistance was his Turkish History Thesis. According to THT,

 

-- All civilizations sprung from Turks or were profoundly influenced by them.

 

-- In 10,000 B.C. Turks lived around an inland sea, which covered Central Asia. Unbeknownst to any archeologist, they developed metalworking, domesticated animals and discovered the techniques of agriculture. There was no mention in the book that they had discovered the Law of Gravity, Relativity, the equation on how to devise a nuclear bomb or the recipe of Turkish Delight.

 

--Because of climate change, the ancient Turks spread out in all directions. Heading east, they brought advanced civilization to China while becoming the nobility. Perhaps Beijing was named after a Turkish bey called Jing.

 

--Turks who preferred sunny climes headed to India but found the subcontinent inhabited by dark people who lived like monkeys. Turks, with their superior intellect and not living like simians, drove the darkies south. The energetic Turkish Ariler (Aryans!) also founded the Indus Valley civilizations of Harappa and Mohengo Daro in today’s Pakistan.

 

--Saka, another Turkish tribe, followed the pioneers to India. In fact, Buddha was a Turk.

 

--Turks, who headed west, introduced irrigation and drainage to the Middle East and founded Sumer and Elam. In Sumer they developed the world’s first writing system. Some millennia later they discarded their alphabet and adopted the Arabic version. But being innately progressive, they tossed that a few centuries later and appropriated the Latin alphabet.

 

--Around 5,000 BC, these intrepid Turks entered Anatolia where the Turkish Eti tribe established the Hittite empire… Eti=Hittite.

 

--With the Eti came the Traklar (similarity of the sound to Turkler is not coincidental) who founded Troy. Thus Hector and Paris were (you guessed it) Turks. So was Trojan Aeneas who founded Rome. A related tribe—the Littler--became the Lydians. Some Lydians travelled to Italy where, as Etruscans, they helped brother Turk Aeneas lay the foundations of the Roman civilization. If you shift a couple of letters, you will note that Etruscan and Turk are similar-sounding words.

 

Just when you thought the stunning list of Turkish contributions to humanity was exhausted, Kemal, the historian, revealed that Turks brought agriculture to Egypt, but the pharaohs—those untrustworthy Semites--erased all traces of Turkish genius from Egyptian inscriptions.

 

The effulgent wonders of Turkic supermen continued…

 

--The Minoans of Crete were migrants from Turkic Anatolia. Minoan leaders were called ege (agha?) thus the sea around Greece was called Aegean. Other Minoan Turkish leaders were called aka. They are known to history as Achaeans who produced the Mycenaean civilization. The Torlay (Dorians) and Iyonlar (Ionians) eventually ruled Crete. Macedonians were Turks from the Danube area. Keltler (Celts), also known as Golluler (Gauls) came from Turkic Central Asia. The Germenler (Germans) were another Turkic nation (Hitler’s bones must be doing somersaults), so were Kimriler (Cimmerians) and Iskitler (Scythians) who spread civilization from the Black Sea to the Baltic Sea. The English, being originally from Germany, were automatically Turkish.

 

--The Natives of North America are Turks who crossed the Bering Sea.

 

--Kemals’ wondrous oeuvre also offered the Sun Language Theory which proved that all languages are derived from Turkish.

 

--Six years after the publication of the voluminous nonsense, Ataturk’s cohorts surprised the world by declaring that Prophet Mohammed was (you guessed it) Turkish. Meanwhile, irrepressible Efet launched the Turkish Anthropometric Investigation which, following a study of 64,000 Turkish skulls, concluded that Turks were a white Alpine race and Turkey had always been inhabited by a single homogenous Turkic people. Of course, Armenians were a figment of spoilsport infidel historians’ imagination.

 

Years later, some serious Turkish historians disavowed the Father of Historians’ fantasies, but the damage had been done: For decades Turkish history books took their cue from Kemal’s molestation of scientific historiography. These muddied effusions continued to be read for decades; every student was taught the transparent lie that Turks were the original inhabitants of Anatolia.

 

While the above hallucinations are no longer mandatory on Turkish curriculums, these otiose emanations have seeped into Turkey’s culture and mindset. The monumental distortions have trickled into the Turkish subconscious. While the mad books are gone, the madness persists. Thus the over-the-top ambitions and pathetic superiority complex of Erdogan, Davutoglu, and Gul. Blame the False Turk from Salonica for the Dynamic Trio’s absurd posturing.

[Arpa]

name='Armat' date='05 June 2011 - 03:50 AM' timestamp='1307242249' post='281963']

You guys going to love this.Sorry Arpa I didn't post it in comedy section.

Yes Armat, a good find. This would have been a good candidate for Comedistan, and a good contender for the Comedy of the Year Award, yet it is quite serious .

I wish you had cited the source. A simple google opens many Keghart being on top. I don’t know much about Keghart.com and who they are. We don't know who the author is. The article is written in good English.

They forgot to mention that the first men on the moon were also furks. Why not, after all they own the moon?

I lied. They own only a quarter of the moon

 

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_ZoqZuZlYuKY/TUX4HNI-etI/AAAAAAAAB7g/1wdeFMnTTso/s200/158px-Flag_of_Turkey.svg%255B1%255D.png

 

BTW. The Armenian word for crescent is Mahik from the Persian mah=moon with the diminutive suffix “ik”= small. Those other clowns call the crescent "dilim ay= slice (of) moon" or "aycha".

Edited June 5, 2011 by Arpa

[Armat]

Yes Armat, a good find. This would have been a good candidate for Comedistan, and a good contender for the Comedy of the Year Award, yet it is quite serious .

I wish you had cited the source. A simple google opens many Keghart being on top. I don’t know much about Keghart.com and who they are. We don't know who the author is. The article is written in good English.

They forgot to mention that the first men on the moon were also furks. Why not, after all they own the moon?

I lied. They own only a quarter of the moon

 

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_ZoqZuZlYuKY/TUX4HNI-etI/AAAAAAAAB7g/1wdeFMnTTso/s200/158px-Flag_of_Turkey.svg%255B1%255D.png

 

BTW. The Armenian word for crescent is Mahik from the Persian mah=moon with the diminutive suffix “ik”= small. Those other clowns call the crescent "dilim ay= slice (of) moon" or "aycha".

Yes Arpa I copied it from Keghart.Seems like a good website but few traffic.

No wonder these idiots get brain shock as soon as they get out of Furkey

[Armat]

my favorite part

 

-The Minoans of Crete were migrants from Turkic Anatolia. Minoan leaders were called ege (agha?) thus the sea around Greece was called Aegean. Other Minoan Turkish leaders were called aka. They are known to history as Achaeans who produced the Mycenaean civilization. The Torlay (Dorians) and Iyonlar (Ionians) eventually ruled Crete. Macedonians were Turks from the Danube area. Keltler (Celts), also known as Golluler (Gauls) came from Turkic Central Asia. The Germenler (Germans) were another Turkic nation (Hitler’s bones must be doing somersaults), so were Kimriler (Cimmerians) and Iskitler (Scythians) who spread civilization from the Black Sea to the Baltic Sea. The English, being originally from Germany, were automatically Turkish.

 

So these MORONS looked aeg hmmmmmm sounds like Agha therefore Greek,Mediterraneans are Furks as well. LOL

These MFERs are really win Gold medal in BS productivity.

[Arpa]

Are we having fun, more than a barrel of monkeys?

 

http://www.redintoothandclaw.com/uploaded_images/barrel-of-monkeys-721072.jpg

 

http://www.redintoothandclaw.com/uploaded_images/barrel-of-monkeys-721072.jpg

 

Yes, we can have fun punching more holes in their arse one at a time. Speaking of which they forgot to mention that the English word “god” from the German “got” is also from the furkish “goet”. Those goet verens!!!

How many times they have lowered their shalvars to get $$$ from America and now they are doing it again to get into Europe. Remember the times when 10,000,000 lira = 1 US $ ?

Edited June 5, 2011 by Arpa

[Nvard]

you should see what Azeri historians produce...........

[Zartonk]

One of my favorites is how the "furkish" Iranian Achaemenids decided to express their dynastic superiority by calling themselves "Aga-men" (agha/aga=sir,lord; men/man=I,me -both from Persian) meaning "I AM LORD".

 

Edited June 6, 2011 by Zartonk

[Arpa]

Here is another gem.

-Turks, who headed west, introduced irrigation and drainage to the Middle East and founded Sumer and Elam. In Sumer they developed the world’s first writing system. Some millennia later they discarded their alphabet and adopted the Arabic version. But being innately progressive, they tossed that a few centuries later and appropriated the Latin alphabet.[/b]

What was the name of that genius linguist?

mehmet mashtoghlu?

They did not even know the word “eshek” ( Indo-European) until they heard us calling them that. :jerry:

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/51/133262843_17493c7531.jpg

Edited June 6, 2011 by Arpa

[Nvard]

I can post a couple of hilarious azeri articles..too bad they all are in Russian..

[MosJan]

One of my favorites is how the "furkish" Iranian Achaemenids decided to express their dynastic superiority by calling themselves "Aga-men" (agha/aga=sir,lord; men/man=I,me -both from Persian) meaning "I AM LORD".

 

 

tarqmanvats HAyereni - Yes em or Kam )

[Zartonk]

tarqmanvats HAyereni - Yes em or Kam )