irlandahay Posted April 30, 2007 Report Share Posted April 30, 2007 (edited) Top 11 reasons the Sep 11 highjackers were not Armenians 11. Their "good-by"-s at the airport would take hours !!!! 10. 8:45am is way too early for Armenians 9. Armenians are always late, they would've missed all 4 flights. 8. Hot girls on the planes would distract them. 7. Once in the air, they would argue and talk loud and at the same time 6. Free food and drinks on the plane 5. The suspected car found outside of Boston Airport would be a BMW with chrome alloy wheels not a Ford. 4. They would start fighting with each other to decide who would fly the plane. 3. Everyone, wanting to be the boss, would start a big fight on the plane. 2. Their mothers would have told them to be home for dinner at 6PM. 1. They would have told everyone months before they were going to do it. =.=.=.=.=.==.=.=.=.=.=.==.=. In Paris recently, an Armenian thief almost managed to steal several paintings from the Louvre. But during his escape, his van ran out of gas and he was captured. After the incident was televised, a reporter asked the would-be thief what had happened. He replied, "I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh!" =.=.=.=.==.=.=.=.=.=.==.=.=.=.= When Nigoghos was still a taxi driver and working on April 24, he happened to have two elderly ladies as passengers and at a cross roads, he had to stop for a while to allow the Armenian demonstration and placards to go through.. While waiting, one elderly lady with poor eyesight asked the other - - "Any idea what's this demonstration all about ? - "I don't know, it looks like the farmers are protesting about the low price of turkey...." LONG LIVE HAI TAD ! Garbis ==.=.=.=.=.==.=.=.=.=.=.=.==.=.=.=.=. Q: what do you call the parking lot next to an Armenian church? A: park Asdoudzo Q: what did the boy say to his father when he opened his Christmas present and saw a pair of socks? A: cool-ba! Q: in what direction do the lambs in Armenia walk? A: sheep-sheedag!! Q: what car do bald Armenian men drive? A: maz - da!!! Q. what do you call an empty bus? A. busbarab Q. what do you call a ship that goes straight? A. shipshidug Q. what do you call a skinny Jap? A. nipp nihar Q. what do you call a horse from Melbourne? A. melbournetzi Q. what do you call a stupid president? A. abush Q. what do you call a guy under power? A. varooj Q. what do you call Kevork dancing? A. barkev Q. what do you call half a rose? A. vartgess Q. what do you call a quiet cat? A. soosig poosig Q. what would you call a windy Abba concert? A. abbahov Q. what do you call a sweet nutty daughter? A : aNoush Q. what do you call that injection that hurts? A. Ass segh WARNING : DO NOT TRY THESE JOKES ON AN ODAR THEY WILL LAUGH AT YOU NOT AT THE JOKE =.=.=.==.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.==.=.=.=.=.=. Regular FRIENDS V/S. ARMENIAN FRIENDS FRIENDS: Never ask for food…. ARMENIAN FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food. FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs….. ARMENIAN FRIENDS: Call your parents' mom and dad. FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry…. ARMENIAN FRIENDS: Cry with you. FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back…. ARMENIAN FRIENDS: Keep your stuff so long they forget it's yours. FRIENDS: know a few things about you… ARMENIAN FRIENDS: Could write a book with direct quotes from you. FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that's what the crowd is doing…. ARMENIAN FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds' ass that left you. FRIENDS: Would knock on your door…. ARMENIAN FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, "I'm home!" FRIENDS: Are for a while….. ARMENIAN FRIENDS: Are for life. FRIENDS: Will ignore this…. ARMENIAN FRIENDS: Will forward this ! =.=..=.=.=.=.==.=.=.=.=.=.===.=.=.=.=.=.==.==.==.= Gabriel came to the Lord and said, "I have to talk to you. We have some Armenians up here who are causing problems. They're swinging on the pearly gates, my horn is missing, barbecue sauce is all over their robes, their dogs are riding in the chariots, and they're wearing baseball caps and cowboy hats instead of their halos. They refuse to keep the stairway to heaven clean. There are watermelon seeds and pig feet bones all over the place. Some of them are walking around with just one wing. "The Lord said, "Armenians are Armenians, Gabriel. Heaven is Home to all my children. If you really want to know how really bad it can be, call the Devil. "The Devil answered the phone, "Hello? Damn, hold on a minute."The Devil returned to the phone, "O.K., I'm back. What can I do for you?" Gabriel replied, "I just want to know what kind of problems you're having down there. "The Devil said, "Hold on again. I need to check on something."After about 5 minutes the Devil returned to the phone and said, "I'm back. wow what was the question? " Gabriel said, "What kind of problems are you having down there?" The Devil said, "Man, I don't believe this....Hold on." This time the Devil was gone 15 minutes. The Devil returned and said , "I'm sorry Gabriel, I can't talk right now. Those damn Armenians have put out the fire, they hot wired the electric system and are trying to install air conditioning!! =.=.=.=.=.==.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=. AN ARMENIAN GUY (VARTGES) WRITES LETTER TO HIS AMERICAN BOSS Dear Mr. Williams... Sireli baron Williams... I said not to say it but it did not happen... Chesem asei cheghav... If this continues like this my smoke will be turned off... Yete asang sharoonagvi mookhes bidi mari... On Wednesday i told Peter that i'll not come tomorrow because i'm sick and my heart is getting mixed... Chorekshapti esi vor Peter-in vaghe bidi chi kam vorovhedev hivantem yev sirdes ge kharnevigor... But Peter said "you must come because there is many work to be done"... Paits Peter-e esav "anbayman bedke kas vorovhedev ahakin kordz ga"... Obliged before the dogs shit, we got up and came... Esdibvadz shoonere chi kakadz, yelank yegank... My sleep was running from my eyes, but i did not say anything... Koon-es achkeres ge vazergor, payts pan me chesi... He said "make this telephone to these people", i said "on my head, i do"... Esav vor "ays martots heratsayn ere", esivor, "kelkhoos vera, genem"... But when he said "throw an eye on these calculations", my head was thrown... Payts hedo yerp esav "ays hashivneroon vera achk me nede", tapas nedets... I am where, a counting where... Yes oor, hashvabahootiun-e oor... This is putting me in place of a donkey... Asi indzi eshoo degh tenl-e... Everbody knows he is took and run... Amen mart kide ir arav pakhav ellal-e... But one time he has entered your eye you give him the just... Payts meg ankam achket meder-e iravoonke iren goodasgor... Enough already, he brought me from my nose and mouth... Al ge pave, kites pernets perav... One day i'll be angry and i will make one his nose and mouth... Or me yesal bidi cheghaynanam yev kit-e peran-e meg bidi enem... Thank you very much, and please tell him to make this his earring... Shad shenorhagalem, yev ge khentrem-vor iren eses asiga aganchin ogh ene... If he falls with me, i will not stay under... Yete hedes ina, yes dag-e bidi chi menam... =.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.==.=. you know your armenian when... Your last name ends in '-ian' or '-yan' There is a sale on any item, you buy 100 of them. You make coffee in a saucepan. Your mother has a minor disagreement with her sister and doesn't talk to her for 10 years. You call an older person you've never met before "uncle", aunty" You do all the housework and cooking if you are female. Your relatives alone could populate a small city. Everyone is a family friend, or somehow related to you. You always try moving out of home but always end up returning. You are a hard core carnivore Instead of cooking a meal for 4 you cook for 10 When you have a dinner party there is enough food to last for the next 2 months. You fight over who pays the dinner bill. You avoid public places when with a member of the opposite sex, especially if there is an acquaintance within 250 miles radius. You get very upset when an airline refuses to accept your luggage which is just 80lbs. overweight. You're about to leave someone's house and you end up having another hour long conversation at the door You’re walking out of customs with your trolley at the airport and you see all 25 members of your family who have come to pick you up. You ask your dad a simple question and he tells you (again) the story of how he had to walk miles to get to school. You are always taking off and putting on your shoes wherever you go. Your mom seems to think her future lies at the bottom of a little coffee cup Your parents compare you to all of their friends' kids. No one ever seems to call ahead of time to say they are coming for a visit. Getting somewhere two hours late is considered getting there 'On time' Getting somewhere on time is considered getting there 'early' Terms of endearment include sacrificing one's self as well as eating body parts. Examples include: I will die for your height (boyeed mernem), your head, your eyes, your nose, etc; make me blind (vay koranam yes); I'll eat your liver (jigar-ed oodem) Edited April 30, 2007 by irlandahay Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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