Sevook Posted February 13, 2006 Author Report Share Posted February 13, 2006 (edited) I tried editing these as much as I could. I apoligize if some may affect some of you. > * A man is dying of cancer. > His son: "Dad why you keep telling people you're > dying of AIDS??". > Answer: "so that when I die, no one will dare to > get with your mother." > ---------------------------------------------------- > * YESTERDAY NEWS: A nun jogging in the park was > raped. > TODAY'S NEWS: Hundreds of nuns are jogging in the > park! > ----------------------------------------------------- > * Question: "what's the similarity > between a good-looking, faithful, rich husband who > satisfies his > wife sexually every night and Bin Laden?" > Answer: "BOTH CANNOT BE FOUND" > --------------------- Edited February 14, 2006 by MosJan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MosJan Posted February 13, 2006 Report Share Posted February 13, 2006 Sevuk jan please try not to use adult content - we do have kids in this forum Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sevook Posted February 13, 2006 Author Report Share Posted February 13, 2006 (edited) Sorry...I'll delete the last post... MosJan, I can't edit the post. Can you do it or delete it...It only allows me to edit the last post I make...And sorry about it. Edited February 13, 2006 by Sevook Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ED Posted February 13, 2006 Report Share Posted February 13, 2006 Sevoog jan first 3 edits are free, after that each edit is 20$, to 10 edits, after 10 .........astvats gity Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sevook Posted February 13, 2006 Author Report Share Posted February 13, 2006 Okay Edward....That doesn't help me edit the post. lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ED Posted February 13, 2006 Report Share Posted February 13, 2006 no but it helps us>> the senior citizens, you see, Ahrnold cut out madical, bush cut medicare, so we have to live che apers? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sevook Posted February 14, 2006 Author Report Share Posted February 14, 2006 Old Genie - New Twist......... Three guys -- a Canadian farmer, Osama bin Laden, and an American engineer-- are working together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. "I will give each of you one wish, which is three wishes total," says the Genie. The Canadian says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada." Pooooof! With the blink of the Genie's eye, the land in Canada was forever made fertile for farming. Osama bin Laden was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Afghanistan, Iraq and Iran so that no infidels, Jews or Americans can come into our precious state." Pooooof! Again, with the blink of the Genie's eye, there was a huge wall around those countries. The American engineer says, "I am very curious. Please tell me more about this wall." The Genie explains, "Well, it's 5000 feet high, 500 feet thick and completely surrounds the countries. Nothing can get in or out -- it's virtually impenetrable." The American engineer says -- "Fill it with water." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sevook Posted February 16, 2006 Author Report Share Posted February 16, 2006 A 90-year old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better... I have a 22-year old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think of that?" The doctor replied, "I have an elderly friend who is a hunter and never misses a season. One day he was in a hurry and picked up his umbrella instead of his gun by mistake. When he got to the creek, he saw a beaver. He raised his umbrella and went 'bang, bang, bang,' and the beaver fell dead. What do you think of that?" The 90-year old said, "I'd say somebody else shot the beaver." The doctor said, "My point exactly". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sevook Posted March 8, 2006 Author Report Share Posted March 8, 2006 EDITED FOR LANGUAGE ... Edna and Bill were two residents of a nursing home who had been carrying on a love affair. They were both 96 years old. Every night, they would meet in the TV room. Edna would passively hold Bill's thingy, and they would watch TV for an hour or so. It wasn't much, but it was all they had. One night Bill didn't show up. He didn't show up for the next two nights either.Edna assumed he was dead, but then she saw him happily wandering about the grounds. She confronted him and said: "Where were you these past couple of nights?" He replied: "If you must know, I was with another woman". "Bastard!" she cried. "What were you doing?". "We do the exact same thing that you and I do," he answered. "Is she prettier or younger than I am?" she asked. "Nope, she looks the same, and she is 98 years old," Bill replied. "Well then, what does she have that I don't?" Edna asked. Bill smiled slyly and said: "Parkinson's disease" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sevook Posted March 8, 2006 Author Report Share Posted March 8, 2006 A wealthy old lady decided to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles along for the company. One day Cuddles, the poodle, started chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovered she was lost. Wandering about, she noticed a leopard heading rapidly in her direction with the intention of having lunch. The old poodle thought, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep human doo now!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, she immediately settled down to chew on the bones with her back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard was about to leap, the old poodle exclaimed loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?" Hearing this, the young leopard halted his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror came over him and he skulked away into the trees. "Whew," said the leopard "That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!" Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree figured he could put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he went, but the old poodle had seen him heading after the leopard with great speed and figured that something not good must be up. The monkey soon caught up with the leopard and, sure enough, spilled the beans and struck a deal for himself with the leopard. The young leopard was furious at being made a fool of and said, "Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that coniving canine!" Now, the old poodle saw the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thought, "What am I going to do now?" but with no time for running, the dog sat down with her back to her attackers and pretended she hadn't seen them yet. Just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle said out loud, "Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.