Zartonk Posted October 26, 2005 Report Share Posted October 26, 2005 (edited) I was watching a ball game (and no it didn't involve innings or diamods) with my father and as we were talking we somehow wound up at the eternal story of Ararat '73. As some might know, the city of Tehran also has a proud team of B-leaguers named Ararat. So, we were saying how Ararat Yerevan is the greatest team ever gathered , all of the sudden he proposed a joke about the Iranian Club: On time, they ask a "tapak" Parskahye his opinion on Ararat, he says: -"Babam jan, ver @lnen havaken tsnyenk!.. (babam, they need to shut it down) They ask why,? Theyre our Armenian club. He says: -"Inch petk. Yerp tanum en, urkhnoomyenk, me shish oghi yenk arnoom, khmoomenk, oo gisherva vyerch@ knka yet dava-morfat yenk @ngnoom. Yerp el tarvoom yen, narahat enk @elnoom, ELI ME SHISH OGHI ENK ARNOOM, KHMOONM ENK,........(!) (-Whats the use? Everytime they win, we cheer up, we buy a bottle of oghi, we drink and we end up in a fight with the wife. And everytime they loose, we get depressed, we buy a bottle of oghi, we drink...Shut it down!) Edited October 26, 2005 by Zartonk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zartonk Posted October 26, 2005 Author Report Share Posted October 26, 2005 (edited) One time Argentina and Turkey have a friendly match. Before the game, the Turkish head coach sums his boys up and tells them last miute instructions: "Okay, ughlak..YOU, you mark up Kempes,.. YOU, mark Ayala, and YOU Ali,.......you get Maradona. ...And oh, Mehmet, whenever you see the ball, shoot it at the goal. Thats your job.." And so they start. ...After 45 minuts, Turkey is down 20-0; all 20 of them own goals by Mehmet. (!) Seeing this, the coach nervousley tells them: "Guys, guys! Change of plans: Forget Maradona, GET ON MARKING MEHMET...!" Edited October 26, 2005 by Zartonk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zartonk Posted October 26, 2005 Author Report Share Posted October 26, 2005 (edited) I know we have some good soccer (or should I say "F@TBOL") related jokes, so please do share..! Edited October 26, 2005 by Zartonk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azat Posted October 27, 2005 Report Share Posted October 27, 2005 An Armenian was shipwrecked and finally washed ashore on a small island. As he regains consciousness on the beach, he sees a beautiful unclad nymph standing over him. She asks, "Would you like some food? "The Armenian hoarsely croaks, "Vai aziz, I have not had any food for a long time!" She disappears into the woods and quickly comes back with a heaping helping of harisa. When he has choked it down, she asks, "Would you like something to drink?" "Ba Vonts! That harisa has made me very thirsty and I very much like a drink!" She goes off into the woods again and returns with a bottle of 75-year-old Armenian Cognac. The Armenian is beginning to think that he's in heaven when the unclad nymph leans closer and says, "Would you like to play around?" "WOW, don't tell me you've got a soccer field here too!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zartonk Posted October 27, 2005 Author Report Share Posted October 27, 2005 (edited) After Pele dies, he wakes up in the middle of the most glorious grass field he has ever touched. The stadium has 7 levels, with mobile seats and monitors on the back of each, not to mention a roof. He then sees thousnds of the most perfect equipment and the most ready and able players to date. (And they all have wings.) As one of them approaches him and gives him a tour of this city of perfect soccer, they arrive back at the stadium and Pele says: -Ok, now let's get a game going. Everyone looks at him with amazement, and he asks -What's the matter? They answer: -Well, Edson, the thing is...we don't...we..we have...we ain't got a ball. Pele thinks for a second and then said: -MAN, I SHOUDL'VE GONE TO CHURCH....! Edited October 27, 2005 by Zartonk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zartonk Posted October 27, 2005 Author Report Share Posted October 27, 2005 Q: How do you commit suicide in England? A: Just say "Argentina". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skhara Posted October 28, 2005 Report Share Posted October 28, 2005 Yeah, Argentina took their revenge for the Falklands war. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zartonk Posted November 4, 2005 Author Report Share Posted November 4, 2005 One time a (insert whoever you use in your jokes) goes to the doctor and says: -Hey Doc, help me. In the past month, all I see in my dreams is me playing soccer with donkeys. What can I do? The Doctor answers: -Oh, no problem. I see this all the time. I'll just prescribe you some pills, take them today and you will sleep normal again. The man says: -Well, thanks Doc. But, is there anyway I can start tommorow? The Doctor asks why? The man looks around and says: -Well doctor jan, IT'S THE FINAL MATCH TONIGHT...!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zartonk Posted June 2, 2006 Author Report Share Posted June 2, 2006 Let us welcome the nearing of that event of al events, that party of all parties, the World Cup, with a reminder of why Brazil is the success that it is... http://chazellefamily.com/images/Misc/Brazil_vs_Turkey.JPG (warning: not for the kiddos) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ED Posted June 2, 2006 Report Share Posted June 2, 2006 I like to see Germany and Holland in Final, now that will be something, more like a boxing match then futbal Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghos Posted June 2, 2006 Report Share Posted June 2, 2006 Interesting that in Brazil we don´t tell jokes on soccer. On almost anything but I can´t recall a single joke on soccer. Probably because this is the only thing we take seriously. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stormig Posted June 2, 2006 Report Share Posted June 2, 2006 Interesting that in Brazil we don´t tell jokes on soccer. On almost anything but I can´t recall a single joke on soccer. Probably because this is the only thing we take seriously. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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