gamavor Posted December 12, 2004 Report Share Posted December 12, 2004 Is Hell exothermic or endothermic? The following is supposedly an actual question given on a university chemistry exam. The answer by one student was so profound that the professor shared it with his colleagues: Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using the Combined Gas Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let''s look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle''s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa Gibbons during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God." (THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A") Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anileve Posted December 12, 2004 Report Share Posted December 12, 2004 Ape, that must be the funniest thing EVA! The guy who invented that is a total genius! The whole thing is a major riot. But this has to be the dynamite: As for how many souls are entering Hell, let''s look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harut Posted December 12, 2004 Report Share Posted December 12, 2004 As for how many souls are entering Hell, let''s look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. style_images/master/snapback.png not to get off topic here... 3 years ago, during a critical thinking course, the professor said the exact same lines, and literally all hell broke loose, as we had about 5-7 extreme believers of christianity, judaism, and islam. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DominO123 Posted December 12, 2004 Report Share Posted December 12, 2004 not to get off topic here... 3 years ago, during a critical thinking course, the professor said the exact same lines, and literally all hell broke loose, as we had about 5-7 extreme believers of christianity, judaism, and islam. style_images/master/snapback.png I heard a similar story from one of my chimistry professors years back, without the sex and the girl stuff BTW... which keep me wondering that the guy took an already known joke and modified it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sip Posted December 12, 2004 Report Share Posted December 12, 2004 (edited) Interestingly enough, I had the same thing circulated in my chem class back in my undergrad days (not from the prof)! Must have been around 1994/95? Edited December 12, 2004 by Seapahn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arpa Posted December 12, 2004 Report Share Posted December 12, 2004 Now I believe in creationism. Did I say that? I meant creativity. It is one hell of a story, regardless. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Armen Posted December 12, 2004 Report Share Posted December 12, 2004 I think this should be in humor section. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sip Posted December 13, 2004 Report Share Posted December 13, 2004 Why don't we move the whole god damned religion section into the humor section? And yes, I'm fully aware I'll be burning in hell for saying that. Thank you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Armen Posted December 13, 2004 Report Share Posted December 13, 2004 Sip, I am kind today. Live for a while ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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