Loreley

Sip: I agree with you on #19. We must take responsability for your behavior. It is like that saying that no matter what has happened to us (bad things in childhood, adulthood, etc.) it does not justify our bad/wrong behavior and we are still responsible for it.

MosJan: I think that having the right to be treated with respect, to refuse to something that you don't want, etc. is Not being selfish. I do believe that we should care and help others, starting with our families, friends, communities. However, in order to take care of others, first we need to take care of ourselves so we can be there for our loved ones too. None of the statements says that you have the right to hurt others to have your rights validated.

Tigrannes:hi. If you don't mind me asking, why is it #20 wrong? Doesn't an individual have the right to search for happinness and the right to be in a relationship that is Not gender role oriented and in which both individuals are treated equally?

Tigrannes: NOT being xenophobic and/or discriminatory has nothing to do with western/eastern thinking. It comes from an human perspective in which people should respect every individual/nationality and not be discriminatory.

Being xenophobic and liking to be an Armenian are two things completely different. Being xenophobic is putting yourself as superior to others, it is like any other kind of discrimination-boundary; i.e. being homophobic, sexist, racist. In this country, a lot of people are xenophobic toward immigrants (especially non-White immigrants) and we, Armenias as immigrants, should be the less ones to be xenophobic.

PERSONAL BILL OF RIGHTS 1. I have the right to consider my own needs. 2. I have the right to say no to anything when I feel I am not ready, it is unsafe, or if it violates my values. 3. I have the right to be uniquely myself. 4. I have the right to be treated with respect. 5. I have the right to express my feelings, both positive and negative. 6. I have the right to have my opinions and ideas given the same consideration and respect others have. 7. I have the right to take risks, make mistakes, and learn and grow from life’s situation and challenges. 8. I have the right to change my mind. 9. I have the right to expect honesty from others. 10. I have the right to feel scared and say “I’m afraid.” 11. I have the right to ask for what I want. 12. I have the right to say NO without feeling guilty. 13. I have the right to follow my own standards and values. 14. I have the right to be in a nonabusive environment. 15. I have the right to pursue my goals and abilities. 16. I have the right to put myself first sometimes. 17. I have the right to make friends and be comfortable around people. 18. I have the right to choose my own lifestyle. 19. I have the right to take responsibility for my behavior. 20. I have the right to be happy and have an egalitarian relationship.

Sip: Hi. You asked: what is really your motivation? What keeps you going? Why do stuff? Why care about stuff? Why torture ourselves to somehow make things "better" when in the end, it does NOT matter at all in the Universe! Working to make things better matters because if you think about the past (in terms of slavery, Latinos/as not being able to enter a lot of public places, women not being able to vote/work, the absence of laws in regards to child abuse, rape, domestic violence,etc, segregation), all those movements of resistance made a difference in the Universe, and currently, in our lives. Yes, there still a huge socioeconomic disparity based on race and gender, but things have improved. My motivation cames from a place of gratefulness, I am so grateful for everything that I have (family,love,good childhood, a place to live, school,work,etc.) and I want to enjoy life.

Sip: I meant 12-14 hours per day (not per week). Imagine, Chinese workers get 7 CENTS per hours for sewing.

Sip: I know it has been long time since you post this topic, but I hope I can still voice my opinion. You wrote "Success is what others think of your accomplishments." I think that each person defines her/his own success in his/her life. Society's definition of success is having a degree (from a prestigious school, with honors), having a high paying job, having money, a new car, a house, a dog (The american dream), being heterosexual, married, with children. My personal definition of success (for my life)is that I will feel successful by doing what I like, knowing that I made a difference in some people's lives, that I stood up for what I believed in, and that I became the person that I want to be (in the emotional and moral sense). I don't believe that degrees (although I want to go back to school to have more knowlege and use the priveldge of having an education to help others), tittles, jobs define success. You stated that "what you think is irrelevant." I think that your perception of yourself is the main thing. How you think about yourself affects how others will treat you. If you think that you are smart, nice, etc, you expect people to treat that way. If you have low self-esteem, you always assume that people think that you are not competent even when people might not be thinking that. "If you work hard, you will succeed." Working hard will help. You are right in that for some people, that is not true. For example, garment workers in the maquiladoras, they work 12-14 hours per week, can't go to school becuase of work, their children start working at age of 13 , it is like a cycle. In the U.S., for undocumented immigrants and for people of color, that statement is only a cliche. It is like that saying that it is up to the individual to achieve upward mobility. Actually, the system doesn't allow a lot of people to do that. I agree with you in this.

Sip: Hi!! What you are saying it is right. We do have more means of communication than ever before, but as you said it is less meaningful communication. I think that is what the author is trying to say too. It is too bad that there so many ways to communicate now but people don't communicate as much as we could(at the human level).

VAVA: Hi. I completely agree with what you are saying!!!!!!

GAMAVOR: Hello. You wrote "Turk= a person who beats his wife at least 3 times a day." In the United States, a woman is beat up every 9 seconds by her partner/boyfriend/husband. Every year,in the U.S., 6000 women are killed as a result of domestic violence. Domestic violence happens in all ethnic groups (of course Turks, Armenians included), social classes, etc. I think that you are making a huge generalization with the things you wrote as a definition of a Turk (doesn't take shower, etc.). Also, nobody deserves to be maltreated, no matter whom they chose to marry (that statement is blaming the victim, not the perpetrator).

Qristine. Hi. You asked me What has made me changed my mind about Turks? and if I fall in love with one of them? No,I haven't fall in love with one. I changed my views because I learned that we can't prejudge people because of their ethnicity. When somebody is saying I would never marry and/or be friends with a Turk, that is passing a judgement because you are assuming so many things about that person. Also, I think we should all care about what happened to other nationalities because that is the only way for racial minorities to become united, form progressive alliances, and resist the dominant/oppressing groups. About Native Americans and Indigenous people? Currently, we are living on their lands. Their land and language were taking away from them (as it happened with Armenians). Do you have any idea of how many millions of Indigenous people were killed during colonization? and the impact that is still has in their lives (in the same way than for Armenians). Yes, the topic is marrying non-Armenians, but we need to analyze where our beliefs and pressumptions are coming from to be able to narrow it to the marriage question. As I said before, I respect your opinion and not trying to change your views.

I am sure a lot of you have already read the following statement, but it really makes reflect on a lot of things about our society and ourselves. Hope you like it. The Ironies and Contradictions of our Society “The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less. We buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life. We’ve added years to life not life to years. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness. We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We’ve been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We’ve done larger things, but not better things. We’ve cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We’ve conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We’ve learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less. These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men/women and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. There are the days of fancier houses, but broken homes. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight or to just hit delete. Remember to say “I love you” to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you. Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment. Give time to love, give time to speak, and give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind. Remember to spend more time with your loved ones. Remember, say a kind work to someone who looks up to you in awe because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart.” By George Carlin

HI Qristine. Thanks for the welcoming note!! I was brought up to believe that all Turks were bad. With the years, I have come to realize that I can not judge a person only for being a Turk. I think that I will need to know that person and his/her ideology before assuming that he/she supports acts such as the Armenian Genocide. Throughout history, what the Turks did to us was an atrocity and they need to recognize what they did as a genocide. However,we can't blame all Turkeys for what happened 100 years ago and the fact is that they have been brought up to believe that it was not a genocide (our ideas are a product of the system in which we live). Children in Turkey go to school and they are taught a different history. So can we blame them all? If you want to look at it in that way, then Native Americans should not talk to Europeans or the so called "Americans" now. Mexicans, Central Americans, and South Americans should not talk to Spaniards becuase of the past and still current colonization of their Indegenous people. At what point do we draw the line? What happened to Native Americans and Indigenous people was a genocide too, but they can't blame everybody. I completely respect your point of view and I understand your hopes of maintining the culture. Hope that you will find what will make you happy!!

Hi. I believe that people should marry the person they love and it does Not matter what is their ethnic background. Although it is important to keep our culture alive, it is also vital to see each other as primarily individuals. Race is a socially cronstructed category and it does Not define who we are (it only influences it). I want to marry a good person and I don't care about his race or ethnicity. I don't think that if I marry a non-Armenian person, I will less of an Armenian or the other way around.