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Nakharar

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I still miss my ex.....but my aim is improving!

 

(Written in very small letters) Nosey little ***er aren't you!?

 

Stupid people shouldn't breed (I have this one on my van :-)

 

Constipated People Don't Give A Crap.

 

Practice Safe Sex. Go Screw Yourself.

 

If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut.

 

Please Tell Your Pants It's Not Polite To Point.

 

My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.

 

If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass.

 

You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me

 

This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me

 

Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult

 

If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?

 

The Face Is Familiar, But I Can't Quite Remember My Name

 

Illiterate? Write For Help

 

I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To

 

Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Handbasket?

 

It's Been Lovely But I Have To Scream Now

 

I Haven't Lost My Mind -- It's Backed Up On Disk Somewhere

 

Fight Crime: Shoot Back!

 

Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35 mph......Are Also Timed For 70 mph

 

Necrophilia: That Uncontrollable Urge To Crack Open A Cold One.

 

Ax Me About Ebonics

 

Body By Nautilus. Brain By Mattel

 

Boldly Going Nowhere

 

Cat: The Other White Meat

 

Caution -- Driver Legally Blonde!

 

Don't Be Sexist -- Broads Hate That

 

Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window

 

Warning! Driver Only Carries $20 In Ammunition

 

Saw It... Wanted It... Had A Fit... Got It!

 

If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer

 

The Earth Is Full - Go Home

 

I Have The Body Of A God... Buddha

 

My wife used to say I looked like a Damn Greek God, now she say's I look like a God Damn Greek!

 

Honk If Anything Falls Off

 

Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit

 

It's Been Lovely But I Have To Scream Now

 

My karma ran over your dogma.

 

Friends don't let friends drive naked.

 

If you don't like the way I drive, get off the sidewalk!

 

Caution! Driver's applying make-up

 

CAUTION : Driver Singing

 

The kids drive me crazy, I drive them everywhere

 

Why am I the only person on earth that knows how to drive?

 

FORGET ABOUT WORLD PEACE...VISUALIZE USING YOUR TURN SIGNAL

 

If you think I'm a lousy driver, wait until you see me putt

 

Hang up and drive

 

Evacuate the road!!! STUDENT driving!!

 

It was only a lane change!

 

I drive this way just to piss you off.

 

Go on speeding, we'll cut you out (of your car ) -- Your Fire Dept.

 

Go on, I'll see you at the next traffic light.

 

Get in. Sit down. Shut up. Hang on.

 

Caution I swerve and hit people at random.

 

So many pedestrians, so little time.

 

Lost your cat? Look under my tires

 

<----Passing Side / Suicide---->

 

"Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine."

 

"Out of my mind. Back in five minutes."

 

"Cover me. I'm changing lanes."

 

"Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot."

 

"Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep."

 

"I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather...not screaming & yelling like the passengers in his car."

 

"The gene pool could use a little chlorine."

 

"I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian."

 

"Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an IDIOT!"

 

"It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you."

 

"When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS."

 

"I took an IQ test and the results were negative."

 

"Where there's a will, I want to be in it!"

 

"Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?"

 

"Time is the best teacher; unfortunately it kills all its students!"

 

"Give me ambiguity or give me something else."

 

"Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot."

 

"He who laughs last thinks slowest."

 

"Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else."

 

"Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies."

 

"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."

 

"Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy."

 

"Consciousness: that annoying time between naps."

 

"Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home."

 

"Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?"

 

"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'...'til you can find a rock."

 

"2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2."

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  • 3 weeks later...

Bush/Cheney bumper stickers:

 

Bush/Cheney '04: Four More Wars

 

Bush/Cheney '04: Leave No Billionaire Behind

 

Bush/Cheney '04: Deja-Voodoo All Over Again!

 

Bush/Cheney '04: Compassionate Colonialism

 

Bush/Cheney '04: The Last Vote You'll Ever Have to Cast

 

One Person, One Vote (*May Not Apply in Certain States)

 

Bring Back Monica Lewinsky

 

:rolleyes:

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