Anonymouse Posted January 27, 2004 Report Share Posted January 27, 2004 All too often we hear of how you can get in a fight and not get beat up and win the fight. Well, I thought that I would ignore the idealistic advice on how to win a fight by kicking someones ass and cut right to the chase. If you want to get beat up without fighting hear me out. Getting your ass kicked and not fighting is much easier than fighting and not getting beat up. First and foremost, you must choose what person or group that's going to be beating you up. Choose someone who you believe to be likely to commit violent acts ( gang members, neighbors, ex's, ex's new boy or girlfriend ). It helps if they are drunk too. Okay! Now here's the fun part! To get them to beat you up to a bloody pulp, ya gotta piss em off. There are many ways to piss someone off. This is where you be creative! Insult their mother, throw dog poop at them from an unsafe distance, or just pretend to hump them while brandishing your genitalia, whatever floats your boat. Okay! Now that they're really pissed off, bend over and wield your ass. If all goes well, they should be over there in a few nanoseconds and kicking your ass. Remember, do not fight back under any circumstances, or you would be fighting and getting your ass kicked. It is also recommended that you piss them off more while this is going on. If you wanna avoid all that you can kick your own ass. While this requires some flexibility, this is quite an easy way to get your ass kicked and not fight. Stand up, and kick your leg backwards until your heel has kicked your ass. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azat Posted January 27, 2004 Report Share Posted January 27, 2004 Anon, funny stuff. Which also reminds me of a story. I use to work with an old southern guy from Arkansas and one of his favorite sayings when asked how he was doing was "I am busier than a one legged man in an ass-kicking contest" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azat Posted January 27, 2004 Report Share Posted January 27, 2004 here are a few more that he used that I use to get a chuckle out of. He is so dumb he couldn't pour piss out of a boot. Bad breath is better than no breath at all. if you don't believe me try to wake up tomorrow with no breath. Busy as a one-armed paper-hanger with crabs. She's as common as cotton string. He is as useless as a screen door on a submarine. Wound up tighter than a two dollar watch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anonymouse Posted January 27, 2004 Author Report Share Posted January 27, 2004 Azat are you trying hard to get beat up? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azat Posted January 27, 2004 Report Share Posted January 27, 2004 dude, you're ugly and your momma dresses you funny *Azat bends over and shows Anon his ars* hehehehe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anonymouse Posted January 27, 2004 Author Report Share Posted January 27, 2004 dude, you're ugly and your momma dresses you funny *Azat bends over and shows Anon his ars* hehehehe Did you know that my momma is your momma? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azat Posted January 27, 2004 Report Share Posted January 27, 2004 I knew you looked familiar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anonymouse Posted January 27, 2004 Author Report Share Posted January 27, 2004 I knew you looked familiar Make sure you try out my advice before you go to bed! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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