July 30

[ara baliozian]

Wednesday, July 30, 2003

*******************************

After googling me, an odar friend writes:

“Armenians don’t like you very much, do they?”

“I will never be another Saroyan,” I concede.

“You could have been” he says,

“but somewhere along the line

you took the wrong turn.”

“If you mean, instead of kissing ass

I started kicking ass, I am in full agreement with you.”

“Big mistake.”

“So what if I will never be popular

among Ottomanized, Sovietized and

Levantinized wheeler-dealers who hate Turks,

who hate Jews, and worship only wealth.”

*

When we make plans for the future,

when we use our imagination,

when we daydream or engage in wishful thinking,

we tend to blur the line that separates

the complexities of life from the simplifications of movies

and we are constantly dumbfounded to discover that

life is full of unpredictable twists, turns, and dead ends.

When our revolutionaries at the turn of the century

imagined the future of the nation

(with themselves at the helm)

they may not have been shaped by movies

but they had read works of fiction;

they were, after all, intellectuals who thought

they understood the laws of history

and the secrets of life.

They committed the very same blunder that we too commit

when we forget that reality takes a perverse delight

in obstructing our path and dashing our most cherished dreams.

*

I keep two lists: enemies and potential enemies.

Under potential enemies I list my Armenian friends.

*

Like everyone else out there

I have ideas of my own.

Some of my readers can’t live with that

and they demand that I recycle their particular brand of crap.

Arabized or Levantinized Armenians demand

that I share their anti-Semitism

and Stalinized Armenians demand

that I share their anti-Americanism.

As a result, I am a constant source of disappointment

to our fascists simply because

I refuse to share their hatred of democracy

and their contempt for fundamental human rights.

*

About negotiating with the Turks:

we may have a far better chance

on the day the Turks are de-animalized

and we are de-Ottomanized.

Until then there can be no dialogue,

only two monologues that never cross.

*

You repeat yourself.

No, I am consistent.

[DominO123]

Ara, what you write here does not make much sense, if Saroyan was liked by the Armenians because he was "kissing [Armenian] ass" that would not explain that he was not only considered by the Armenians, but as well the Americans. While your explanation would have sense in the cases of his popularity among the Armenians, but would not in the cases of the typical American. Are you considered among the Canadians, like Saroyan was with the Americans? I am not criticising your work, I must admit, for a reason I ignore, I like reading what you write.

[Sip]

I personally really liked the term "googling" ... if it means what I think it means, then I think it's a great word!