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Dependent by default


Gayane

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I've been observing an interesting phenomenon lately: educated, career oriented, intelligent, seemingly intedependent women (of all ages) who are either a) in a relationship and highly dependent--socially, emotionally, psychologically, and even financially--on their partners, or B) single and involved in a desperate search for Mr. Right, usually someone whom they can depend on, again in the ways mentioned above.

 

My question is first, whether or not my observation seems to hold true, and second, what are the causes and effects of this dependence. I purposefully leave the question open ended yet again to give everyone a chance to cover as many aspects of this as they think necessary.

 

Feel free to ask for clarification if any is needed.

 

Gayancho

 

p.s. my wording of the title of this topic should give you an insight as to my views regarding this issue.

 

[ August 10, 2001: Message edited by: Gayane ]

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Your Highness Queen Shamiram,

 

Again welcome back.

 

Don't you think it's just part of women's nature? And for that matter, couldn't you say the same thing about men? That is, we're all dependent. Men that say they are not are full of it.

 

Mike

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I would say that the reason why that reality exits in both males and females (that is what I have observed)is because no one person wants to be alone (well most people) and that drives them to be dependent on others. As a result their professional lives are either put on hold or are followed part time. Thus the dependency is caused by a emotional gap which needs to be filled by someone from the other sex.
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Gayane,

Are you talking about women in general or Armenian women? I feel that this is very true for Armenian women but absolutely not true for other nationalities. Most my female friends are not in the situation that you mentioned, only the Armenian friends are.

 

Azat

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Azat, I meant women in general and Armenian women in particular (pretty much anything I post in this section tends to follow that pattern). And I will have to disagree with you. I think non Armenian women have strong dependency patterns as well. While these may not be as easily detected, they certainly exist.

 

Mikey, (thanks ). I do think that you're right in that men depend on women as well in certain ways. However, womens' dependence on men is reinforced by the patriarchal structure of our society and can be said to be a societal phenomenon while mens' dependence on women tends to be viewed on a case-by-case basis. Besides, the famed double standard often applies: a man who is dependent in any way, even emotionally is a weakling; a woman who is a dependent in any way is, well, expected to be dependent. Do you see what I'm trying to say?

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