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Single Armenian women


Boghos

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Gayane has been doping a great job raising the fundamental issues surrounding women and family.

 

I would be very curious to hear about the experiences and impressions of single Armenian women, be it in academia, career track or any other experience. I think this is a very new reality. And should be surrounded by a number of interesting issues such as living alone and all it entails, a different Armenian environment if any at all, prejudice, etc. Please let me hear your opinions/experiences.

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Yes, it certainly seems so.

 

I must say, that for the sake of statiating curiosity I went to that site mentioned on the best place to meet an Armenian. And looked in the 20-something to 30-something category. It was quite interesting to see what came out. I never expected to see pictures of Armenian girls on the Internet, much less in rather provocative shots .

 

Actually I know a few young ladies, Armenian and single, professionals. Maybe I should e-mail them this forum address .

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quote:
Originally posted by MJ:
Dear Boghos,

Judging from the reaction in this thread, it seems like the categories "single" and "Armenian women" don't go together.




That's it. Make fun of all the single people.
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Alright, boys, you've had your fun

 

I'd like to make it clear that advocating (or even discussing) sites with pictures of armenian women (or any women) will have no place on this forum. Do that on your own time, not on the forum.

 

I'm deleting all the references to the sites.

 

Gayane

 

P.S. Please limit your discussion to the topic!

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Boghos, I think most of us would love to have more women on the forum, so feel free to extend an invitation on my behalf to the women you know.

 

Now, with respect to the issue of single Armenian women, my experience has been that INDEPENDENT single armenian women are attacked from all ends: traditionally minded men AND traditionally minded women. Although now less so than before, but single girls still get a great deal of criticism for choosing fast paced or non traditional careers. We all know what happens to single girls who don't "behave" when it comes to dating ("becoming the talk of the town" doesn't quite cover it). A single armenian girl who's dating has two options. Option A: do whatever you like but keep quiet about it and deny everything at all cost and Option B: do whatever you like but be honest about it. Most choose to lie (I don't blame them). God help the rest of us. Moving out is a virtual impossibility, even with such liberal minded parents like mine (my mother very LITERALLY had a heart attack; it was definitely an experience and I still live at home!)

 

Disclaimer: my views are based on my observations and experiences of girls living in the los angeles area, mostly immigrant families.

 

An interesting observation (at least to me): the immediate respect a girl acquires upon getting engaged; this is respect a single girl could never dream of. Practically overnight, she becomes "legit": go wherever you like, do whatever you like, the parents will say very little to the contrary. She basically becomes the guy's "problem" (parents' view) and a "respectable" woman (society's view). I find this astonishing.

 

Before I get harassed for having an opinion again let me say that these are only my views and I present them only as such, not as fact. Dispute them as you see fit. I'll be adding more later.

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When I lived in NYC I was a member of AGBU´s young professional group, quite interesting, and full of single women. Many different experiences indeed.

 

In a country with such mobility as the US it must be a very limiting factor not being able to move out. Indeed even your choice of where to attend college becomes limited.

 

Gayane, I am sorry for taking such a long time to reply. I have been encouraging my friends to join, tell you the true they are so skeptic of conventional Armenian communities that it is not even funny. A pity if you ask me.

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Mersiner, Movses jan

 

Boghos, I can certainly understand their skepticism about conventional armenian communities. Believe me, I'm a huge skeptic myself. But I really don't think that this bulletin board is "conventionally armenian". If it is, then certainly less so than you would expect. I've been on other boards that are much, much more traditional and conventional. I think we have a good mix of people here.

 

sidenote: Boghos, guess why I'm at UCLA and not at UC Berkeley! It's all mommy and daddy's fault (addressing your earlier comment about choice of college)

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Boghos,

 

My experience as a single Armenian female has been very fulfilling

 

I have

* been fortunate enough to have parents with a healthy mentality.

* had my independence and my privacy.

* travelled by myself many times.

* have chosen my college, my profession, etc.

* never felt pressured to do something (or not do something) because I am a girl.

* almost never heard the phrase "what will people say?" from my parents.

* never felt inferior to anyone because of my gender/nationality.

 

I have not lived alone. Yet I think it's a very important maturation stage every person needs to go through (male or female).

 

Prejudices are there. But as long as they are not from your immediate circle, there is no need to worry. I just laugh them off

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Oh and I would like to add Option C

 

Live your life as you see fit but keep your private life private. This is not backwardness but self-integrity and a bit of intelligence. Share your private information only with the people who are entitled to know (i.e. your boyfriend, fiance, husband). Strangers have no business knowing what you do (or don't do) behind closed doors. And remember, keeping private information from strangers is not lying, keeping it from your significant other IS lying. 'nuf said.

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  • 5 months later...
quote:
Originally posted by Sulamita:
Boghos,

My experience as a single Armenian female has been very fulfilling smile.gif

I have
* been fortunate enough to have parents with a healthy mentality.
* had my independence and my privacy.
* travelled by myself many times.
* have chosen my college, my profession, etc.
* never felt pressured to do something (or not do something) because I am a girl.
* almost never heard the phrase "what will people say?" from my parents.
* never felt inferior to anyone because of my gender/nationality.

I have not lived alone. Yet I think it's a very important maturation stage every person needs to go through (male or female).

Prejudices are there. But as long as they are not from your immediate circle, there is no need to worry. I just laugh them off wink.gif



There are realities that are not the most desirable and there are always at least two sides to an issue. A general thing with our people, pretty safe to say as a result of our history, is to take a negative view. Many ppl just complain, but I'm not saying that their complaints are groundless. My point is, when ppl like sulamita bring out a positive side to an issue, (and in this topic one can expect a lot of complaints about the negative sides), it reminds you its not as bad as they make it look.
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quote:
Originally posted by Sulamita:
Oh and I would like to add Option C smile.gif

Live your life as you see fit but keep your private life private. This is not backwardness but self-integrity and a bit of intelligence. Share your private information only with the people who are entitled to know (i.e. your boyfriend, fiance, husband). Strangers have no business knowing what you do (or don't do) behind closed doors. And remember, keeping private information from strangers is not lying, keeping it from your significant other IS lying. 'nuf said.



Totally correct.
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