raja Posted April 22, 2001 Report Share Posted April 22, 2001 In the tread "Turkish Friend" many people have posted their feelings about the subject but the concept of friendship I see differs from individual to individual.While some may regard the smallest bit of acquaintance as friendship for some it goes much deeper.What are the essentials for you to call someone "a true friend"? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pilafhead Posted April 23, 2001 Report Share Posted April 23, 2001 (Welcome! Finally someone from the East Coast of the U.S. ) True friends are ones that I can trust with anything: secrets, money, my house, etc. I also realized that having a crying baby around quickly separates the wheat from the chaff, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edg Posted April 23, 2001 Report Share Posted April 23, 2001 I am yet to find a true friend outside of my family circle. I can never trust a friend 100%. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghos Posted April 23, 2001 Report Share Posted April 23, 2001 edg: Are you an Armenian mormon ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gayane Posted April 23, 2001 Report Share Posted April 23, 2001 My father's admonition came to mind as I was reading this: separate your friends into categories: "seghani enkere der lav enker chi " said my father. For those not familiar, "seghani enker" is a friend you have good times with, someone who might want your friendship for your pleasant company, your money, etc. This does not guarantee that they'll be a true friend when you really need their friendship. Personally, I do believe in the tried and true cliche "a friend in need is a friend indeed". Which is why I don't have very many good friends, or very many friends period because if it's not a true friendship, I'd rather not have that friendship at all. Most of my "best" friends in the past have failed me in need, when I most needed them. I despise hypocrisy, or "dzevakanutyun" as the hayastantsis among us might say. I think people find my approach to friendships rather unusual (I had no problems dropping a 9 year friendship because my "friend" not only was not "there" when I needed her but went on to sabotage me in every way possible--lol, I think she was rather upset it didn't work). On another note, I don't have very many girlfriends, but only one! Like I said, I despise any sort of lack of sincerity in a friendship and I think women are the most hypocritical creatures on earth. I despise girls who are shallow, envious, gossipy and vengeful (my experience with this has been astounding). Once in a while you'll meet a woman who's genuine and honest, whatever other faults she might have. My acquaintances are many; my friends I can count on one hand and I wouldn't even get to use all five of my fingers My criteria for choosing friends are the following. First and foremost, they have to be genuine, kind hearted people. They must have uncompromising integrity, strength of beliefs (my friends sometimes hold opinions completely opposite to mine, but I respect their strength of belief), and they must be honest, affectionate, accepting, and selfless. Clearly, you don't run into people like that everyday, which is why I don't have very many friends Also, I should say that I don't expect anything of my friends I wouldn't give freely to them. In fact I expect nothing. Friendship isn't about "well, if you do this for me, I'll do that for you". It's about giving as much of yourself as you possibly can simply because you care about and love your friends. That's it for now Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kazza Posted April 23, 2001 Report Share Posted April 23, 2001 I think freindship is about sticking by your friends and not ignoring them or dropping them just whenever it suits them. or because there not the one to be "seen with" If a freind has done some thing you feel is wrong, to communicate with each other and find out what's wrong, even if it means swapping a few cross words. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azat Posted April 23, 2001 Report Share Posted April 23, 2001 I agree with Gayane on this issue. When I was a young reading some philosophy book or something like that(sorry, I do not remember what book it was or who wrote it) the author had claimed that one can at most have 5 true friends in life at any give time. As a young man I thought that that was a bunch of BS, but as I have become and old fart I have realized that is very true. I have many many many acquaintance in life that I hang out with, go out for a drink, watch a game and all that, but I only have 3 people that I can truly call friends. BTW: Gayane, I just saw your female friend, Mother Theresa and she said "Hi". Sorry could not resist, you had described the friend somewhat saint like. Sorry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edg Posted April 23, 2001 Report Share Posted April 23, 2001 Boghos, I am not mormon. The only mormon belief that I truly believe in is the polygami. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghos Posted April 23, 2001 Report Share Posted April 23, 2001 But do you know of any Armenian mormons ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
armeniangirl83 Posted April 23, 2001 Report Share Posted April 23, 2001 true friends: anybody to trust, anybody to confide, to demand and to do nice things in life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghos Posted April 23, 2001 Report Share Posted April 23, 2001 Wait until you meet Armenian Jehova Witnessess, and be polite to them (as I was). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
raja Posted April 24, 2001 Author Report Share Posted April 24, 2001 By the way we have a saying in Turkish.It might be considered a bit macho but it is:you get to know the true face of your friend on three occations.At the gambling table,at the drinking table and while traveling.These are when people cannot hide their true character. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azat Posted April 24, 2001 Report Share Posted April 24, 2001 No wonder I have few friends. I can't drink much, I hardley ever gamble, but I can travel with anyone. Welcome to the forum Raffi. What part of Jersey are you from? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edg Posted April 24, 2001 Report Share Posted April 24, 2001 Yes, there are couple families that I know of. I try to stay away from that crowd. Bunch of hipocrites. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
armeniangirl83 Posted April 24, 2001 Report Share Posted April 24, 2001 edg is right. i can also never trust a friend for 100%. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harut Posted April 24, 2001 Report Share Posted April 24, 2001 besides all those things that you mantioned, i think there should be an emotional connection between friends. i don't mean anything drty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
raja Posted April 26, 2001 Author Report Share Posted April 26, 2001 Azat I'm in northern Jersey very close to Manhattan.(Oradell,Bergen County)It has been close to 2 years that I left Istanbul and came here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pilafhead Posted April 26, 2001 Report Share Posted April 26, 2001 Good 'ol Jersey. My Armenian grandparents were born there (Union City/West Hoboken). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azat Posted April 26, 2001 Report Share Posted April 26, 2001 Raffi, I spent 2 years in Parsipany, and worked in Whippany. That is some beutuful country. North Jersey is really nice. Except for Newark. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gayane Posted May 1, 2001 Report Share Posted May 1, 2001 quote:Originally posted by Azat:BTW: Gayane, I just saw your female friend, Mother Theresa and she said "Hi". Sorry could not resist, you had described the friend somewhat saint like. Sorry [/QB]Funny Actually, I wouldn't be surprised. The one (one!!!) female friend I have is an exceptional human being. Calling her Mother Teresa wouldn't be too much of a stretch Like I said, I don't trust women, but she is incredible. Lol, I just got an idea. I'm in a matchmaking mood. lol.P.S. I have to disagree with whoever said you can't/shouldn't trust your friends 100%. If there is no trust, there is no friendship. I'm not saying trust everybody, in fact, I'll be the first to say don't trust anybody, but the friends you choose you should trust not only 100, but 120%.Gayancho Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edg Posted May 2, 2001 Report Share Posted May 2, 2001 P.S. I have to disagree with whoever said you can't/shouldn't trust your friends 100%. If there is no trust, there is no friendship. I'm not saying trust everybody, in fact, I'll be the first to say don't trust anybody, but the friends you choose you should trust not only 100, but 120%. Gayancho [/QB] Gayane jan, I would say that the most I will trust a friend is about 70%. I am not paranoid, just too many lessons in life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gayane Posted May 2, 2001 Report Share Posted May 2, 2001 I know exactly what you mean, Edo...But I'm an eternal optimist, I refuse to learn, always willing to give people the benefit of the doubt until they do something blatantly untrustworthy (lol, one thing I've learned is that this is definitely NOT to my benefit, but I can't stop being this way; it's a part of who I am) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pilafhead Posted May 2, 2001 Report Share Posted May 2, 2001 quote:Originally posted by edg:Gayane jan, I would say that the most I will trust a friend is about 70%. I am not paranoid, just too many lessons in life.There's a saying somewhere that if you loan a "friend" $20 and you never see them again, you should consider yourself lucky in that you got off cheaply.I trust my true friends 100%. Anyone less trustworthy is not worth my time on a long-term basis. They might be OK for having a beer with today, but in the long run I will jettison them. I can't be bothered. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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