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Gayane

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GROWING PAINS: a contradiction

 

I ooze like a thorny ball of plastic paint

Weave out like an empty pail of transparent thread

I scream and I shout.

I cower.

Afraif of your power.

You stretch me like an ageless rock.

You crush me.

You crush me.

When is it enough?

Why will you not stop?

 

I swell up in anger like a blooming flower.

I wilt before you, an invincible tower.

I beg you, I curse you.

I rage and slump down.

You look like a clown.

Strangle me with those strong hands, kill me.

Strangle me...

Kill me...

Kill me...

 

A quiet bang, then another.

I might as well be deaf.

Bang! Bang!

Broken, shattered...

Bits of brown plaster embrace the bathroom tile.

...and all is still...

I crumble before you.

I am deaf.

I am defeated.

I raise my eyes to meet your fiery gaze.

I am annihilated.

 

Will you hold me tight, Daddy?

You used to.

Will you wipe away my tears, Daddy?

You used to.

Will you tell me a story?

I hope there'll be a prince, or a duke, or a king

and he'll be strong like you...

and he'll be wise like you...

and he'll be kind like you...

 

Someday someone will love me, like you...

Someday...when I'm all grown up.

 

I'm all grown up now, Daddy.

I'm all grown up now.

 

a "gs" original, 9/24/00

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