Men...

[gamavor]

1. How many men does it take to open a beer?

> >None. It should be opened by the time she brings

it.

> >

> > 2. Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick

up a woman?

> >Because a woman who can't even afford a washing

machine will

>probably

> >never

> >be able to support you.

> >

> >3. Why do women have smaller feet than men?

> >It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows

them to stand

>closer

> >to

> >the kitchen sink.

> >

> >4. How do you know when a woman is about to say

something smart?

> >When she starts her sentence with "A man once told

me . . ."

> >

> >5. How do you fix a woman's watch?

> >You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

> >

> >6. Why do men fart more than women?

> >Because women can't shut up long enough to build up

the required

> >pressure.

> >

> >7. If your dog is barking at the back door and your

wife is

>yelling at

> >the front door, whom do you let in first?

> >The dog of course. He'll shut up once you let him

in.

> >

> >8. What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?

> >A woman that won't do what she's told.

> >

> >9. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her

first name was

>"Always."

> >

> >10. I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months: I

don't like to

>interrupt

> >

> >her.

> >

> >11. What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of

her intelligence?

> >Divorced.

> >

> >12. Scientists have discovered a food that

diminishes a woman's

>sex

> >drive by

> >90%.

> >It is called Wedding Cake.

> >

> >13. Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement Ring,

Wedding Ring,

> >Suffering.

> >

> >14. Our last fight was my fault: My wife asked me

"What's on the

>TV?"

> >I said, "Dust!"

> >

> >15. Why do men die before their wives?

> >They want to.

> >

> >16. Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in

some parts of

>Africa a

> >man

> >doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad:

That happens in

>every

> >country, son.

> >

> >17. A man inserted an advertisement in the

classified: "Wife

>Wanted."

> >The next day he received a hundred letters. They

all said the same

> >thing:

> >"You can have mine."

> >

> >18. The most effective way to remember your wife's

birthday is to

>forget

> >it

> >once.

> >

> >19. Women will never be equal to men until they can

walk down the

>street

> >

> >with a baldhead and a beer gut, and still think

they are

>beautiful.

> >

> >20. Why do married men gain weight while bachelors

don't?

> >Bachelors go to the refrigerator, see nothing they

want, and then

>go to

> >bed.

> >Married guys go to the bed, see nothing they want,

and then go to

>the

> >refrigerator.

> >