smile

[ara baliozian]

AN ARMENIAN STORY

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Two friends are having a drink in a bar. One of them, let’s call him Jack S. Avanakian, says to the other:

"The earth is flat."

"It’s not!" the other replies.

"I tell you it’s flat like a pancake!"

"It’s round like your stupid head. Haven’t you seen photos taken from outer space?"

"All fakes."

So they go on arguing for a while until Jack falls silent and the other goes home thinking he has been successful in convincing his friend that the earth is round.

Next day, same time, same place, when the two friends meet again, Jack S. Avanakian says: "I thought it over and I still think the earth is flat."

Another heated exchange follows until Jack runs out of arguments and again falls silent.

On the third day when they meet again and Jack says "The earth is flat!" the other gives up in disgust and says: "Have it your own way." And forever after Jack thinks he knows more about the cosmos than his friend.

Something very similar happens when you argue with an Armenian chauvinist or partisan who has made up his mind that his party is never wrong because his boss happens to be more Catholic than the Pope, more bolshevik than Stalin, and more Ottoman than Suleiman the Magnificent!

 

Moral I: To be Armenian and to be reasonable are incompatible concepts.

 

Moral II: An Armenian hates to lose an argument because he sees it as an extension of his manhood.

 

Moral III: When an Armenians says, "I am right," or "You are wrong," what he really means is: I may be wrong and you may be right but since my heart is in the right place and the Good Lord is on my side, it follows, I am ahead of you even if I happen to be dead wrong.

 

Moral IV: To be open minded, to understand, and to be receptive to new ideas are quintessentially un-Armenian concepts.