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Turkish intelligence


MadArmo

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THE TURKISH SECRET POLICE ENTRANCE EXAMINATION

 

Note: Please don’t tell anyone about this

 

1. The struggle between the Secular and the Islamic Rule is a _______ struggle.

 

a) silly

 

B) political

 

c) huh?

 

d) utopian

 

2. Secular is _______.

 

a) inevitable

 

B) inevitable

 

c) inevitable

 

d) inevitable

 

3. A citizen looks at you and smiles. What is the proper response?

 

a) shoot

 

B) Shoot and use your club

 

c) stake out citizen's house and shoot some more

 

d) smile back and shoot

 

4. What is the proper procedure when installing wiretaps?

 

a) make sure he isn't home before you start

 

B) make sure he is home before you start

 

c) knock on door, handcuff, make him talk into phone

 

d) none of the above is appropriate

 

5. Mehmet has 3 dollars. Murat asks him for 50 cents. He gives it. How much should Mehmet have asked for?

 

a) 50 cents

 

B) 3 dollars

 

c) nothing

 

d) it doesn't matter because we are all MHPians, They share everything and the state will find out how he got the 3 dollars and confiscate it anyway and it will be distributed to the oppressed Politicians because greedy capitalism is doomed.

 

6. At a party someone says something bad about the Turkish government. How long should you wait before apprehending him?

 

a) 30 seconds

 

B) 5 minutes

 

c) wait till after the party

 

d) why were they having a party anyway?

 

7. Who wrote the Turkish Manifesto?

 

a) Ataturk

 

B) Tansu Ciller

 

c) Sultan Hammid

 

d) Attila

 

8. What do you think about the US?

 

a) I don't think

 

B) I bang my shoe on the table when I think about the US

 

c) greedy capitalist pigs

 

d) It is a wonderful country

 

SCORING:

 

1 point for each correct answer

 

need 7 to pass

 

if you answered "d" on number 8, please see your instructor

 

PART TWO - ESSAY QUESTIONS - 10 points each

 

1) Describe how Ataturk Won the Independence War from the capitalist oppressors in 1921 and how this changed the world forever.

 

2) Sultan Hamid, Enver *****, Josef Stalin, and Pablo Picasso all had one thing in common. what was that and how does it relate to our cause?

 

3) Why are death camps a good idea?

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Ha HA A AH HA HA!

 

That is about only the level of "intelligence" that turks can sum up between them, and then their brain power is exausted!

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Anna jan,

We have won the war already. And the worst thing to do is to tease them over that.

And also, nobody has done us more harm than we have done to ourselves. What's the reason to be a military leader if you'll be eventually killed by some Nairi Hounanian. So, let's leave our poor neighbours alone and fight against our ambition and thirst for money. I believe these are our worst enemies.

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