Guest Posted July 3, 2000 Report Share Posted July 3, 2000 Answering Machines Actual answering machine answers recorded and verified by the world-famousInternational Institute of Answering Machine Answers. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So leave a message. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hi. This is John. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. Ifyou are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my riends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hi. Now you say something. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hi, I'm not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hello. I am David's answering machine. What are you? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (From a Japanese man in Toronto He-ro! This is Sato. If you leave message,I call you soon. If you leave ***y message, I call sooner! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine just eloped with hertape deck, so I'm stuck with taking her calls. Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. Myowners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through their office and do not need their picture taken. If you'restill with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ This is not an answering machine -- this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hi. I am probably home. I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't home and it's safe to leaveus a message. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ You're growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel very sleepynow. You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to resist suggestions. When you ear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to leave your name, number, and a message. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now,because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up anddown, and I like doing it left to right ... real slowly. So leave a message,and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll get back to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 13, 2000 Report Share Posted July 13, 2000 Hi. You've reached IRA Headquarters. I'm the answering machine. The guys are out for bombing. I have your number stored so don't sleep at home tomorrow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 13, 2000 Report Share Posted August 13, 2000 Hi, this is John's answering mashine. John is out so leave your message after the beep...Hi, this is Jack's calling mashine. I'll call you later. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 13, 2000 Report Share Posted August 13, 2000 Hi, you have reached ..., .... plaese leave a message after the tone. Tuuut.-Barev Sirush, yes Maroosn em, uzum ei asem vor...-Barev Maroos. h@~, inch ka chka? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 14, 2000 Report Share Posted August 14, 2000 Hi this is Nvard's answering machine:Nvard e himi tun e chi u el stegh che zangek!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 14, 2000 Report Share Posted August 14, 2000 Hi this is Berj. I have no answering machine so go ahead and talk to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 14, 2000 Report Share Posted August 14, 2000 Sulamita's Answering Machine: Hello?Caller: Hello ...S's AM: Hello?Caller: Allo ...S's AM: Hellllllllloooo !?!?!?!Caller: Sulami, lsum es? Allo ... Allo ...S's AM: Lav, kam edpes sharunaki qez qez xosal, kam el karj konkret mtqerd artahayti u nsti spasi vor zangem Caller: Vay Sulami yes qo inchn em asel !!!!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 30, 2000 Report Share Posted August 30, 2000 Hi, we can't come to the phone right now, but please live your Credit Card and Social Security numbers along with your mother’s maiden name, and we'll transact immediately. [This message has been edited by MJ (edited August 29, 2000).] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 30, 2000 Report Share Posted August 30, 2000 This if from university time: "Hello, you called the right number but at the wrong time, please leave your message after the tone". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harut Posted August 28, 2001 Report Share Posted August 28, 2001 "allo. dzer het chi alarm khosum a Khchoyi inknapataskhanich@.menk hima tun@ chenk u yes kez chunem aselu urenk. vorovhetev du karogha mlitsa es.vopshem, azdanshanits heto ktoghnes vzit tsep@, 2,000 dollar, u mashnit balniknerd.u etkanits heto yete hl@ ban unes aselu, halal a ko kerats pamzablok@" did you guys listen to this CD? what was the name? this is from that "anmakardak" CD from "Burjui Akumb" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anahid Takouhi Posted August 28, 2001 Report Share Posted August 28, 2001 Yes at CD-n chem lsadz payts lser em robotnerun yev marterun masin joke me. Badmem? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elovna Posted August 28, 2001 Report Share Posted August 28, 2001 OH, i love them Sulamita!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harut Posted August 28, 2001 Report Share Posted August 28, 2001 Hmayk, patmi!!! see how i bring up an old topic and people love it. we should do this more frequently. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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