How to break the news to the parents of an Armenian

[BrianWood]

Hello,

 

I’ve been dating the most amazing Armenian woman for over a year now. It started off long distance and I eventually moved to her city to be with her and to take our relationship to the next level. We both know we want to and are going to get married, no matter what. However the only issue is that I’m what Armenians call odar. Honestly though it doesn’t bother me, I’m so thankful for being who I am and if I had the choice I wouldn’t want to be Armenian, nothing against Armenians I just don’t see the need to feel bad for being who I am.

I’m open to the Armenian culture, I’ve started to learn the language with my lover, am fine with our children learning the language and I’m excited to go with her and spend a few months in Armenia. The entire Armenian community in our city adores me, her best friend from Armenian school and her mom even put me up in their house for a week when we were first visiting and gave me the nickname ‘Antranig Voodian’. Her brother knows about us and we get along great, all her friends know about our love and are so happy for both of us. The only people who don’t know are her parents. We’ve talked long and hard about how we’re going to break the good news to them, and by her choice we decided to wait until I’ve moved to her city and am there for her physically for when we tell them so I can support her.

I’ve read plenty on both sides of the story about weather an Armenian should or shouldn’t marry outside of their race and I’m not willing to debate that there, we’re already together, we’re going to stay together and get married no matter what.

I dislike the idea of not being ‘accepted’ into her family’s side of the Armenian community because they are embarrassed in their daughter’s choice to live her life for herself, not for a nation or a nationality, like not being able to go with her to weddings, and other social gatherings that her parents are at. Mind you were both adults, but she is still living at home off of her parents while she goes to school.

 

My question is how should we as a strong loving couple who plan on living the rest of our lives together go about breaking the news to her parents? And what could we do to get them to try to accept us for who we are and not shun our love, our relationship, or their daughter’s choice to live her life and marry the man she loves?

 

Brian W

[Sip]

No matter what the nationality, I can find it VERY hard to imagine any parent being able to easily accept the "news" if a strange guy shows up one day and says hey, your daughter and I are going to get married

 

First meet, let them get to know you, you get to know them, spend some time, then ease into the marriage thing a few months later. I am not saying this because you are not Armenian ... just put yourself in their shoes and imagine your daughter shows up with some guy one day. How would you react?

[Anoushik]

Very well said Sip.

 

To add, Brian, don't you think you both have waited too long to tell her parents about you? Wouldn't they hurt extremely if they found out they were the last ones to know and everybody else, including her brother and her best friend's family already knew about you? Other than that, if you've been accepted by everybody else you've met (the entire Armenian community in your city) and they find you both great as a couple (what else is more important, really?) then you shouldn't worry about the debate whether an Armenian should marry an odar or not. It's more philosophical and doesn't seem to apply to real life (apparently).

 

Good luck!