Nightmare Exam

[Guest]

Instructions: Read each question carefully. Answer all questions. Time

Limit: 4 hours.

 

HISTORY

Describe the history of the papacy from its origins to the present day,

concentrating especially, but not exclusively, on its social, political,

economic, religious, and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia, America,

and Africa. Be brief, concise, and specific.

 

MEDICINE

You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a

bottle of Scotch. Remove your appendix. Do not suture until your work

has been inspected. You have 15 minutes.

 

PUBLIC SPEAKING

Twenty-five hundred riot-crazed aborigines are storming the classroom.

Calm them. You may use any ancient language except Latin or Greek.

 

BIOLOGY

Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture if

this form of life had developed 500 million years earlier, with special

attention to its probable effect on the English parliamentary system.

Prove your thesis.

 

MUSIC

Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform it with flute and drum.

You will find a piano under your seat.

 

PSYCHOLOGY

Based on your degree of knowledge of their works, evaluate the emotional

stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed frustrations of each of

the following: Alexander of Aphrodisias, Rameses II, Gregory of Nicea,

Hammurabi. Support your evaluations with quotations from each man's

work, making appropriate references. It is not necessary to translate.

 

SOCIOLOGY

Estimate the sociological problems which might accompany the end of the

world. Construct an experiment to test your theory.

 

MANAGEMENT SCIENCE

Define management. Define science. How do they relate? Why? Create a

generalized algorithm to optimize all managerial decisions. Assuming an

1130 CPU supporting 50 terminals, each terminal to activate your

algorithm; design the communications interface and all necessary control

programs.

 

ENGINEERING

The disassembled parts of a high-powered rifle have been placed in a box

on your desk. You will also find an instruction manual, printed in

Swahili. In ten minutes a hungry Bengal tiger will be admitted to the

room. Take whatever action you feel is appropriate. Be prepared to

justify your decision.

 

ECONOMICS

Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt. Trace the

possible effects of your plan in the following areas: Cubism, the

Donatist controversy, the wave theory of light. Outline a method for

preventing these effects. Criticize this method from all possible points

of view. Point out the deficiencies in your point of view, as

demonstrated in your answer to the last question.

 

POLITICAL SCIENCE

There is a red telephone on the desk beside you. Start World War III.

Report at length on its socio-political effects, if any.

 

EPISTEMOLOGY

Take a position for or against truth. Prove the validity of your

position.

 

PHYSICS

Explain the nature of matter. Include in your answer an evaluation of

the impact of the development of mathematics on science.

 

PHILOSOPHY

Sketch the development of human thought; estimate its significance.

Compare with the development of any other kind of thought.

 

GENERAL KNOWLEDGE

Describe in detail. Be objective and specific.

 

*** EXTRA CREDIT ***

Define the universe; give three examples

[Guest]

lol..how funny

 

although doesn't look too far fetched..some professors would actually do this..flakes!! (I'm fed up with school, can you tell..lol)

 

gayancho

[Guest]

Twenty-five hundred riot-crazed aborigines are storming the classroom.

Calm them.

 

give them petrodollars!

[Guest]

quote:

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Originally posted by Iranyar:
Twenty-five hundred riot-crazed aborigines are storming the classroom.
Calm them.

give them petrodollars!

---

or if they are little kids give them kitkat with coca cola!