Regarding: Flirting And Cheating

[TheArmenianPirate]

This is a somewhat interesting topic, most definitely a testament to the degeneracy of modern morality that any self-respecting Hye should avoid, never the less it is interesting. I couldn’t resist but make some comments . . .

 

Would it be cheating if a married or attaced man/woman flirts with someone else (online or real life). Or do you think it's just fun and games. Explain why please.

 

It’s naïve to think that even the most devoted of lovers do not fantasize about various things mentally. However, to think that semi-conscious, sub-conscious, or conscious mental fantasies are in any way “synonymous” to the act of flirting, with regards to moral implications and/or violations, is a slippery slope that you don’t want to step on because pretty soon you will have careened into a hole too deep to crawl out of. While many individuals arrogantly think that they may have the discipline to “keep things under control” by keeping things “innocent”, nothing could be further from the truth. Several instances of innocent flirting with a little bit of leeway can quickly reach a point of moral compromise even if the very act of flirting is ignorantly not considered a moral compromise to begin with. The very notion that active flirtation which is deliberately allowed by a woman or man that has a significant other is somehow mysteriously “innocent” is nothing but a cop-out excuse for those that have that need to do it in secrecy but simultaneously lack the courage as well as the boldness to do it in front of their significant other or around people they know. This is because inherently, deep inside, they know it is in fact very hurtful and wrong. If it is so “innocent” why do you have to do it in secret? To further specify, if your significant other would consider your flirting just as much of an act of “fun” as well as merely a “game” as you would, then why question its innocence to begin with? Better yet! Why not go out one night, and just flirt right in front of him/her with another person and even be kind enough to find someone that he/she can flirt with as well, after all, it’s just “fun and games” and who doesn’t want to have “fun”, right?

 

Assuming one is involved in a relationship that is theoretically based on commitment, devotion, loyalty, and trust, what place does “innocent” flirting have when the very act of flirting is the anti-thesis of the aforementioned aspects of a relationship/marriage? The truth is, flirting has no place in such a situation because violations regarding the sanctity of a committed relationship do not necessarily have to be a physical ones to count, indeed, perhaps worse than physical betrayal is the emotional and mental type that can result from seemingly “innocent” acts such as flirting. When you look at it really introspectively, if you cannot even place enough worth and value on what you already have or if an individual cannot muster up the discipline to see an opportunity to actively flirt and pass it up by saying “thanks but not thanks”, then truly, you have no business bringing another man or woman into a serious relationship for sake of commitment when you yourself cannot begin to make the most basic act of commitment by maintaining the integrity of that relationship/bond when your lover’s back is turned. Simple but complex, che?

 

 

 

As long as they do not take the next step and just flirt all is cool.

 

So then, when is it “not cool”? Do I have to outright bang the living brains out of another man’s woman for it to be considered “cheating”? Or is cheating in reality the simple act of betrayal, regardless of the level of magnitude, the shape, or manner in which it manifests itself through the allowance of those that are involved? To me the latter seems to be a much more clear-cut, practical, and no nonsense approach that effectively defines cheating. Cheating is betrayal, plain and simple, trying to paint certain acts as “okay as long as it doesn’t go further than that” is ridiculous, not to mention nothing more than the manifestations of a guilty conscience; regardless whether the betrayal took place in a steaming hot bed with sexual intercourse or merely behind the keyboard of an online chat room. Granted, I’ll say that there are practical limits as well, certainly the fantasizing that is done by nearly every living human being is a gray area that can never be resolved because to a certain degree it stems from human nature but more importantly, it is impulsive and to a certain extent beyond our conscious control. Restricting thought is damn near impossible, so we can categorize that as the “gray area” and we should keep fantasizing as the ONLY gray area if we are interested in the moral integrity of the relationship being kept healthy. Anything beyond the mental fantasizing is a deliberate act as well as a conscious choice that is made by that man/woman that sits behind the computer and knowingly flirts. This choice will in fact hurt your significant other no matter how deceptively you paint it as “harmless if controlled” or “harmless if kept under wraps”. More importantly, it is essential to note that the knowledge of your significant other that you willingly chose to make such a choice is what hurts the most for most people. Effectively speaking, it is the choice of performing that act of sitting in front of a computer behind your significant other’s back that creates more of the residual pain rather than the act itself.

 

 

 

 

By the way flirting is an excellent stimulant, although frankly I find that flirting coming from a man twice my age with a wife in close proximity of him makes me nauseous. Otherwise, discreetly from your significant other innocent flirting can actually serve as an alleviation of infidelity fantasies. Sort of a virtual reality without dangerous circumstances.

 

Why am I not surprised that you would be making this comment? I think a lot, if not all of what you write emerges from depths of low self-esteem, you surely will deny this but we’ll digress on that for the sake of the topic at hand. So, flirting is an excellent stimulant? In that case, so is cocaine, as well as the rush of adrenaline of taking another human life in combat, thus, are you going offer up some blow off your buttocks for the next passer by or should I go out and quench my bloodlust for the sake of stimulation? Surely you cannot recommend the above mentioned items alongside flirting for their sheer stimulatory value as well as part of a “healthy lifestyle” now could you Anileve? The way you put it, you make “discreet acts of flirting (read: betrayal)” sound like a box of Wheaties for all seriously committed lovers/couples to enjoy, yet nothing could be further from the truth. Furthermore, what the hell kind of nonsense is “Alleviation of infidelity”? That statement sounds like an Aspirin pill for the metaphorical “headache”, which in your case, seems to be the idea of relationships itself. If anyone has a compulsive need to “alleviate” themselves from one BIG act of betrayal by actively participating in a regular cycle of MINOR betrayals, then you have a psychosis problem that is deeply rooted and you should not be considering any form of serious commitment with another person, period, invest in some psychiatry instead.

 

Also, why is it that “discreet” flirtation is somehow more justifiable and acceptable versus flirting coming from “a man twice your age with a wife nearby”? The audacity you have in stating that this older man’s acts make you nauseous but somehow equivalent acts that are done “discreetly” are perfectly alright and in fact “healthy” is mind boggling. That’s like putting a gray area as well as a double standard on something that should not be a gray area to begin with, namely, flirting; truly this transcends many levels of arrogance and narcissism. Why not simply see things for what they truly are, that is, flirting is in fact a form of betrayal, granted its not as blatant as doing the nasty with Joe Blow or Jane Cane in the back of a pick-up, but let’s face it folks, you’re still shafting your significant other emotionally, the only difference between active flirting and doing the wild thing with someone else is how well you lube the shaft and how deep it’s driven in when committing the betrayal (no metaphorical puns intended). Please don’t try and kid yourself about it in any other way, especially not with the prescription like “dosage” method of how much betrayal can be allowed to “slide” and how much cannot as described and prescribed by Anileve.

 

 

 

No worries .... go flirt and if you like, go get laid too.

I bet you ...... you man would do it in a second if he had the chance and he has most likely allready done so.

 

So ... spread the "joy" if you like ;-)

 

 

Easy there Don Juan, not everyone is so easily lent to whoring themselves out at a moment’s whim. “Degenerative” aptly describes your train of thought. While I don’t like to get too deeply into personality analysis in my writings, I’d say there is a great chance that you were somehow betrayed at some point by someone, if you have been, you have my pity and at least there is some explanation for the utter sphincter wind that is flowing out of your mouth and mind like there is no tomorrow. “No worries, go flirt and if you like, go get laid too”? I’m not even going to discuss the practical health aspects of what you write, but if you’re so open to this idea why not offer yourself up as a consort in assembling all future concubines to other men, namely, all the women you’ll date in the next 50 years. There are plenty of jacka$$es out there that don’t mind double dipping, so have a few of them around during your wedding or better yet, the day after your honeymoon, offer up your new bride to the next guy with a nice haircut. If you say this stuff because you truly believe it and it’s not really due to being betrayed by someone in the past, then “degenerative” doesn’t being to describe you pal. Get some help and get it fast, your moral compass is seriously in need of some tuning, people like you are like a virulent infection on young Armenians in the up and coming generations. I pray you’re some jaded 14 year old hurting from puppy love instead of the 30 something imbecile with his head up his a$$ that I suspect you are, that would really be immeasurably pathetic. If you still insist on your above notions, please feel free, next time you’re out with your girl offer her up to others, or as you more idiotically put it, “spread the joy”.

 

-The Armenian Pirate