moqqa

I have tried to reach the admin and asked him/her to delete my thread, but it seems that I can't send PMs? They don't appear in my "sent messages" folder. Dear Anonymouse thanks for your reply, but it isn't the answer to my questions. And since for weeks now nobody can answer it, I am again asking to delete this thead if you don't mind. There are tons of topic in a kind of "why choosing armenian" - my question was: how to get along with a non-armenian.

I have to add something to #2: Parties among your families are very difficult to organise. There is always some cold, because they don't understand your culture. Of course all are friendly but I miss the relaxed and typical armenian joke-making atmosphere. There is some talk about our 'exotic' cuisine and the rest is just blah-blah... Sometimes I imagine my wedding, how it would be? Most of my relatives are in Armenia so here I can't make an 100% armenian wedding. So I have to make an elegant & boring european wedding ceremony with one or two armenian songs. Nobody except my parents & friends would "understand" the music, dance to the music. Even if you teach how to dance. That doesn't come from the heart. The odars don't feel what you feel while listening to the music! It is like acting. Somehow that makes me sad... To this long story my question is: have you made similar experiences and how do you solve that kind of problems?

Hello, I am new here and have a question to you folks... People often talk about whether is it OK to marry an Odar or not. My question is directed to the people who has already made that experience and are married with an odar. I would like to know how do you "manage" your marriage? How do you keep your Identity? From my own experience and what I have observed from friends being in relationship with odars, it is very difficult to stay 'armenian' if you don't have a partner who gives up his identity or doesn't care that much about his culture. And even IF, you still have to explain yourself ever and ever agian. #1: Problems among you two: You always have to compromise. You alwas have to explain yourself why do you think the way you think. Why you do have a close relation with your parents. There are A LOT OF things which you do without thinking about, because they are normal to you, but not your husband. To an extent, of cours in a relationship you always have to compromize, you always have to explain... but I have the impression that there is more to explain with an odar. And the worst thing is, he won't understand it right. He will say ok, I got it, but he has got it in his own way. It is like you speak different languages in your mind too, you are programmed to think different. #2: Problems among your families: which may result in #1 The good thing about odar families is that they dont stick they nose into your business that much as armenian families. BUT it is still difficult to make them understand that you are an ARMENIAN and you like to keep your langauge, culture. And that maybe someday if you have children you would like them to speak your language. Many odars come up with "armenian? why would you need that?!". Here is also the point that no matter how you explain, they won't really understand your point. In the european country where I live, many people are arrogant and to some extent nationalist: thinking of themselves as of being very progressive. Cultures that they don't know are seen as un-progressive. You always have to fight with that ignorance & stupidity! #3: Problems concerning your friends: which may result in #1 It is very difficult to have common friends. I have many armenian friends and when we meet with them, my BF feels always uncomfortable because we speak a language he doesn't understand. I think the real problem is that he hay txamardkanc xandum e! That's a thing I have observed very often on odar men/women who have armenian partners. #4: Problems concerning your children: which may result in #1 We don't have children yet, but because of the points above and because I have observed it many times on other friends it seems to me that you always have to explain/argue why you want your children to learn armenian, why you want your children to spend time in Armenia, why you want your children to have armenian friends. So, what are you experiences and how do you solve your problems? Some may say, simply marry an armenian, but I am sure with the armenian guy I would have problems of other kind... moqqa ps: sorry my poor english.