Some people herehave assumed that there are even other hyes in one's area TO marry!!
And this even refuses to acknowledge schisms of religion, politics, class and gender and plain old attraction ( ARA! a mouthful to type !)
And also, to the purist types who believe that any and all " mixed Armenians" are no longer hye ( as if that individual EVER had any choice as to who their parentage was ) ??!! You have some VERY good points, however that I agree with in this context.
HOWEVER_
assuming we accept your premise; What do you make of people from mixed background ..say somebody that's 1/2 or a quarter... who are fighting to keep their identity when they are not surrounded by a community?
No Armenian language schools..no church...no AYF , ARF, AYCOA...no barbeques...no madags...np poetry...nothing for much of their life except for the superhuman ability to spot an Armenian name in a phone book or movie titles or school lists at lightning speed and the joy of watching their Armenian relatives succumb to assimilation year by year while at the same time being fed nationalistic ideas and being held to unattainable and gendered standards of behavior on account of "being Armenian"... and NO ONE to talk hayeren with even if their Armenian relatives finally agreed to teach them?
Imagine being a 7 year old having to literally *beg* your relatives when you see them intermittently, or spend a year or so with them,
to teach you Armenian so that you can communicate with your cousins and other family members?
Imagine being refused to be taught by those Armenian relatives year after year the language/dialect?
Imagine having to defend racist accusations and misunderstandings by your *own* non-armenian parent from a small age. To be a mini-educator and expert geographer to non-armenians- including your own relatives from such a young age.
Imagine watching the pain of your Armenian parents and grandparents as they fight to assimilate. Imagine being told that out of all known family members, you are the only one of the grandchildren known of who knows the history, was around before total assimilation took place, and is the only one of them left who wants to learn, because the others are too poor, isolated and ignorant to know or want to learn?
Imagine the pain of that child who becomes conscious of the implications of assimilation from a race subjected to genocide. Imagine the burden of that child who feels on one hand responsible to take advantage of waning prejudices and acceptance of ethnic pride to maintain identity against the genocide of assimilation on one hand, and not being accepted when intermittently around hye communities on the other?
Some of the previous can be used to make arguements *against* intermarriage. But what to do with the children of these marriages who are conscious and decide that they *will not* be a party to the final stages, even if they remain marginalized by armenian communities?
How can you then shoulder the burden entirely on these people when much of it is on account of factos beyond their choice like history, geography and class? And then consign them to oblivion when it comes to marriage issues? Isn't this a case of " blaming the victims"?
Should they just give up, and say " you purist ethnonationalist types are right.. otar I am than" or should they fight for their place in the community? This includes the right to acceptance in marriage to a " full blood" armenian, which can only be made possible with further dialogues on the meaning of identity in a DEEP sense. Every conscious hye has to admit that it is *very* important as the last stages of genocide are going through (assimilation and denial).
What do you ethnonationalist purists make of these mixed Armenians who try hard, with no language schools or little to no community around, who want to marry another Armenian? Do you think they should tell the " full blood" at a barahantes or party or whatever mode of singles meeting that " Well, I might LOOK a lil Hye and ACT a lil Hye an speak a lil Hayeren , but REALLY .. I'm an odar!" Doesn't this seem a wee bit , well.. weird? ( Damn, I feel like I'm talking reservation politics here with all this " full blood"/half-blood talk ;-)
Why should the mixed-bloods throw in the towel and NOT fight ?? Why should the mixed ones who are trying to maintain thier identity against odds, and who ALSO grew up with the horror stories of the genocide , and the guilt of feeling complicit with jermag chert and the burden of assimilation... Why should they , if they are CONSCIOUS... essentially say
" Well... the Turks won with my family. We are sufficiently ODAR-IFIED. We now surrender ;-) "
Denial is one of the final states of genocide. And I , a mixed blood ARMENIAN .. REFUSE to be party to denial. I *do* wish to marry an Armenian man, mostly because of social programming and trust ( my emotional trust is mostly with Armenian men on account of my raising ). However, this assumes that I am *accepted* by in-laws and the like, and the community. And honey, one thing is right here in this forum where people have included money as a factor, not only do you have to be accepted, but you have to come from money and act like a material girl/dress like a material girl just to get these hye boys glances. And , to be " amergihye" in phrasing " Ara.. some of us are just BROKE and trying to get by, much less act the princess" . And some of us are simply politically and socially opposed to materialism and capitalism and how they play out in the politics of love.
You should really think of the reality on the ground for many of us who do not want to surrender to the final stages of genocide. Not *ALL* of us have the luxury to travel to Armenian lands and communities, or plop down a good chunk of money for Armenian language software or books that actually WORK, or travel to armenian communities for overpriced barahantes ,,,and some of us like myself actually GO to the sparse Armenian church meetings ( even if we're very secular), weather the community gossip, donate money, educate other communities on Armenian issues, save money when we're broke and unemployed for ptitiful Armenian "language" books, read on events, and help where we can.
TO be blunt, he77 NO I refuse to call myself en total an " odar" and prove the #$% murderers right. Even my not-so conscious mixed cousins refuse. And I refuse also on account of the fact that I *am* the last of my family who forms a line and was raised by a generation who spoke Armenian, had a community and knows the history.
On the note of marriage, all I got to say is " vorteg e Monte Melkonian??????????/" Now THAT's an Armenian man I would give my personal library for ;-)
