shiner

The U.S. is a very diverse country not only because of its ethnic makeup but also because it allows each individual to develop uniquely. Since everyone is so different in so many ways it is much harder to find common ground with people, than it is in more homogeneous, traditional societies. So basically everyone is in their own little corner by themselves (as far as personality, ideas, philosophies, feelings, etc). Everyone has a major part of themselves that they will never be able to share with anyone else (since no one else can relate to it). But in social situations everyone wants to get along and have a jolly good time. That's why the subjects discussed are so trivial. No one can afford to show their deep self. It's all an act. And this act is carried through (and altered) to every interaction people have (ex. job interviews, fights, dates, etc.). Very seldomly can you afford to show your true, true self (and even then it takes a while). I would never trade this life style for any other (where I can share everything with everyone like "old world" homogeneous societies). But sometimes I feel repressed (in the sense that I have to hide my true emotions and put on an act). I know many others feel this way. Since this is a relatively anonymous forum, do ya'll feel this? Or what do you think of this as a general phenomenon? You are less likely to feel this way if you are an immigrant still living in your respective immigrant pocket interacting exclusively with former compatriotes.

Especially if it happens to be the guy who took away their virginity... then they'll be stuck on him no matter what.

In that case I guess "nice" is a good thing. It is for me. But not for everyone, especially those who are younger and get caught up in that "I'm a player, I want a player, etc." mentality. Sometimes that bad boy/bad girl image prevails. Many like getting played. But this happens with those who are younger I think. By the time people are ready to settle down or grow more mature, they get tired of all that and look for those qualities you mentioned more.

Most want somebody with an edge and who is a challenge. Few want someone extremely "nice" from the very beginning who throws themselves at them. This occurs on both sides.

It is said officially that 40% of the economy there is controlled by the russian mob. In reality it's more like 80% if not 100%.

In a way it's true, because the society you live in definitely has an impact on you, in the way you act, think, what your priorities are, etc. But then there are some issues that transcend culture as Sip says. Some cultures impose themselves on you more harshly than others. In these cultures everybody acts/thinks more or less the same, and very little diversity and individuality is tolerated. Other cultures are more vast, individuals can develop very differently from one another, and more is tolerated. I think the statement applies more to the first case. Vava you are talking about the second case using Canada as an example. I wonder when the author wrote that and how many different cultures he had been exposed to before his observations.

Oh I see, so they are implying there already exists a more or less set way to go about it.

So what makes a good cuber besides hand speed? Ability to perceive images in 3D, or calculate formulas, or what?

I've always wandered about it, what drives certain people to do it and others not to do it, etc. But angel4hope you are right it is sad. Even if someone is going through a difficult stage there is always a chance they are going to get out of it some time in the future if they stay alive, as opposed to committing suicide and eliminating all their chances of future happiness.

Skittles, Even if life is a struggle (which it is since there is always conflict) it could be an enjoyable struggle.

Like you mentioned humans are a very competitive bunch and it's natural. But I think Armenians are a more jelous bunch than average, especially among themselves. On one hand if a famous Armenian arises we are very quick to be proud of him and claim him as our own, but on a lower scale if one Armenian is more successful than the others in a group, it is not uncommon for the others to try to knock him down out of sheer jelousy. If you are talking about parents doing it to other children so their own children can stand out more, you are right on the money. All immigrants (including Armenians) love using their children as sheer DISPLAYS by which they gain status in their own immigrant circles. That's one reason they are so controlling over their children. Let's say two older Armenians are talking in a park. One says "my son/daughter is a manager at a firm, the other says my son/daughter is a bigger manager at a bigger firm". The latter is considered superior than the former in the community only through the accomplishment of his kid (but note he himself has not done ANYTHING more than the other). The other does everything in his power to look down on the more successful kid so he won't feel inferior. This does not happen nearly as much in the younger generations. The above applies more to "old world" folk. But since it is human nature nobody is completely immune to it. I'm guessing you mention Armenian women as opposed to Armenian men, because women in general are more gossipy and hold grudges longer. Men just buy each other a beer after a fight and everything is back to normal.

sev_mard, I just wanted to know what your opinion is on black guys wanting to hook up with nonblack girls, when black women hardly look at guys who are not black. And also, I realize I'm being stereotypical, but a lot of black women tend to have a certain "attitude" towards their black man. I'm not saying it's a bad thing. But do you have any theories on what the reason is for that typical in your face "attitude" (ex. "Is that all you got? I thought you was a real man", "nah, hell nah", "no you don't", "you a dog", "you ain't s**t") It's almost as if they are trying to make their man feel incompetent. How do blak guys feel about this? I'm sorry for being stereotypical, but I would really appreciate some insight on those two issues.

I think it's cool!!

Harut, Very good question!! It is obvious that some ethnicities are much more successful than others. Is it both nature and nurture, or just nurture? Nurture (the environment, surroundings) is definitely a factor. But is nature a factor (pure genetic makeup). It's not as obvious but I would say probably. Of course if this is the case, the differences are not gonna be radical, but they might just be significant enough to be noticed. I can definitely see the scenario. I know this is a taboo subject, and I don't mean to be foolishly stereotypical, but do blacks have an athletic advantage? Obviously. (I realize I'm not being politically correct but I really want to analyze this). They dominate every sport they get into, and they would dominate every other one if they were to get into it (including swimming, tennis, soccer, etc.). This is obviously due to genetic make up which manifests itself as a physical advantage. Could genetic make up also affect the brain, in such a way as to give a group a mental advantage over another?

The problem is that most "old world" parents live THROUGH their children. And this is bad whichever way you look at it. Living THROUGH your children, should not be confused with extreme love, or care, or wanting your children to do well, etc. Living THROUGH your children, or anyone else for that matter, is a very messed up phenomenon. It's basically not allowing your child to develop into a full fledged adult, become his/her own person, because you want to "customize" him/her to fit your own wishes, so that you can feel good yourself. It's almost "selfish" (for lack of a better term, since I realize that the selfishness is involuntary, as most of these parents would die for their children). You know how immigrants look down on "these Americans who kick their children out of the house at age 18". Most of them are on the opposite polar extreme. One extreme releases their children before becoming adults, and the other extreme does not allow their children to become adults at all. And I can't say the second extreme is better than the first. As a matter of fact, if I really had to choose, I'd probably choose the first. And, lastly, I also think this mentality of "we ONLY immigrated for the children" is wrong also. There is nothing wrong with picking up some advantages for themselves as well (the opportunities are all around and obvious). But of course we owe our parents. I would never turn my back on them no matter what, and neither would I put on this "leave me alone, I'm independent" act. But also my parents don't really fit the extreme I described above, so I'm thankful.

The most simple, non sugarcoated, objective, nonphilosophical, straightforward answer for today's world is "making money".

Many immigrants use their children to justify their migration. They use their children's success to measure their own success in their new countries. To what extent do these children owe their parents? In the sense that, how much significance should this carry in the decisions the children make concerning their own lives?

What I wrote in my original post is being proven to me on a daily basis. For the first time ever I lost my wallet today. Unfortunately I had to tell my dad because I had one of his deposit receipts in there since I made a deposit for him earlier. In true fashion he started creating a big scene. Why did you lose it, how, you are so irresponsible, what are we gonna do right now, oh my god, you should of done this, you should of done that, etc. All this for a lost wallet!! (after I had already gone to the bank and cancelled everything). And this is only the begining. This is gonna be the subject of discussion for a whole week now. It's already a pain to get another license because the lines are long at the DMV. He keeps overdramatizing this instead of minimizing the problem. Ironically if I had told my mom everything would have gone smoothly. But I didn't on purpose. It's time he learns how to handle himself. Enough of this overgrown momma's boy crap. Enough backwards immigrant thinking. Among Americans he would be considered weak for not even being able to handle the agony of ... lol ... a lost wallet. And most Armenians (and other immigrants) are like this. I aspire to be a completely different type of man (which by default I am).

Instinct. When you wake up in the morning you don't think of the very long run. You think in terms of that day, week, month, maybe a couple of years. When you do, you get even more stressed.And when you see everyone around you hustling and bustling you cant help it but desire to do something, stand out, make your own mark on the world so to speak. Otherwise you feel worthless and depressed. I truly believe that society and environment has an affect on you. And the country you live in is the epitomy of a society which constantly puts pressure on you. Nothing is ever enough. There is always more. You achieve something only to find out that there are many more things left above. Should you choose to stop you feel bad, empty, looked down upon, somewhat alone in your philosophy, because the whole world around you is hustling and bustling. It's not like you have the option of sitting on your front porch and playing backgammon all day (unless you live in Glendale ). There's no one to play with because everybody is caught up in the chaos of their own life. And the only escape you have is more and more work. Other societies might work differently, but in general it is human nature to always want something. When you finally get that thing your first instinct is to want something else. It never ends.

I think that boundaries will dissolve more and more as we are heading towards an increasingly global economy. The world is becoming a smaller place due to advanced technology. Maybe 200 years from now the world (if it still exists) will be one big country/society.

Hyebruin, The reasons you mention (loneliness, boredom, depression) are the reasons I see myself married sometime late in life as opposed to never. I think those feelings hit you much harder when you are older, past middle aged.

Sip, So you are saying that the whole premise of "everybody wants somebody" is wrong to begin with. You are saying that people are self-content and self sufficient without somebody constantly at their side. People are becoming more independent, and the newer generations are less likely to look for marriage in the same way as the older ones. It's a fact that people are waiting longer to get married. This makes more sense. To tell you the truth I kind of fit in this category too. I just thought I was in the minority. It seems like everywhere you turn people want to get married and most of all have kids. I always say that IF I get married it will be late (past 40 maybe even 50). I don't necessarily look forward to having kids. I say this as I'm 25. Maybe 5 years from now I'll have a different outlook but I doubt it.

Really, I've been wanting to read it for a long time.

Sip, You are right about the numbers (I just chose them to make a point), but I'll change them right now because my focus is "Is there a limit?" to how much you can consume, and if so why are people's wants unlimited? And also, to what extent is money purely a medium of competiton?

A man needs a woman because he needs the "nurture" of a woman. A woman needs a man because she needs the "security" of a man. I use "nurture" in a very, very broad sense. I also use "security" in a very, very broad sense. Does this make sense? I am not sure about this, but I want to find out why everybody (with few exceptions) wants somebody for the long run (marriage, etc.). I realize it's human nature, but what are some more objective reasons?