///I wrote this because I had what I thought at the time was a bad date. Feel free to add. . If the girl asks you to go over to her friend who you don't know and say in a creepy voice "Hello *insert name here*.", do NOT aim to impress her when you give your example. 2. Should the girl rub her leg against yours, do NOT A. Shriek or B. Lunge at her with tongue hanging out of your mouth. 3. If a friend of hers has trouble with boys, do NOT attempt to assist her. 4. Any time you buy a girl a ticket after the year 1985 is a waste of your money. 5. If she is pretty, funny, cute, blessed with a great smile and the best hair you've ever seen, and capable of making you melt, do not tell her about it all within a 15 second period. 6.Most girls do not find molestation jokes funny. 7. When you meet their parents, do not correct their grammar. 8. If you are not punctual, do not make the fact you're late the main conversation point. 9. If you talk to her on either a phone or the internet within a 3 hour period of the date, do not tell her of your failed plans to grope her, or write her a letter that takes longer than your date did. 10. When playing competitive sports, do not get aggressive. 11. Politics should go no farther than "Yeah, I think Bush is stupid too." 12. Do not bring up the topic of George Bush. 13. No single topic requires more than 2 examples. 14. If you find her braces, glasses, or any other gear she is wearing attractive, be careful when complimenting it. You may find out you naturally sound sarcastic. 15. If she slaps you, it doesn't mean she likes to play rough. 16. When taking an older relatives advice, be sure to break your eardrums first. 17. Internet shrines are a no-no. 18. Same goes for regular shrines. 19. Do not make jokes about punching things. 20. Do not insult the actors in the movie you are watching. 21. No, fire is NOT good. 22. If you run into anything, compose yourself very quickly. Otherwise, you'll just look stupid. 23. Do not put anything down on paper that is capable of getting you disbarred from a public place. 24. On a first date, you will generally need neither whipped cream, nor handcuffs. 25. No matter how much you like the girl, Tuxedos are not necessary for going to a movie. 26. If you defend her honor, do not bite or kick them when they're down. 27. If you defend her honor, do not get bitten or kicked when you're down. 28. No matter how lightly you graze her, she'll notice. 29. When speeding on your way to a date, be sure to wear pants. 30. Do not explain your theory about how "the 3 stooges represent the modern world". 31. Mixing conversations can cause difficulties. For instance, if you're talking to her on the phone about your report on serial killers, do not suddenly ask her what time she wants to get picked up. 32. Should you be a terrible dater, do not create a list of 32 things you shouldn't do on a date.
