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Do We Need To Mary Them Or Not?


Dude

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Marring into your own culture has one big advantage. No matter where you live you will always feel at HOME! :)

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That is not true Gamavor. It can very well be that you don't feel at home at all when you marry into your own culture. The reason is that everyone is unique, whatever culture they belong to. So my advice (and I am a very experienced woman) is: look for a person, a human being, not a member of a certain race or culture. The topic starter asked: "is it wrong?" .... this question is rediculous. What could be wrong about liking another person that happens to belong to a different culture? At worst, it could turn out to be the wrong person. No harm done, it's a learning process, just keep on searching until you find the right one.

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That is not true Gamavor. It can very well be that you don't feel at home at all when you marry into your own culture. The reason is that everyone is unique, whatever culture they belong to. So my advice (and I am a very experienced woman) is: look for a person, a human being, not a member of a certain race or culture. The topic starter asked: "is it wrong?" .... this question is rediculous. What could be wrong about liking another person that happens to belong to a different culture? At worst, it could turn out to be the wrong person. No harm done, it's a learning process, just keep on searching until you find the right one.

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most Armenians know this, they just don't want to believe in it ;)

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Well, after reading all of the posts, I'm a little bit shocked and amazed at some of the comments that are made. First of all, I want to comment aobut who should we marry? I agree that if you do get to fall in love with an Armenian, then that's great. However, sometimes it just doesn't work out that way. At the end I don't think it matters who the other person is, as long as that person takes care of you, loves you and is always loyal to you. Marrying a person just because he/she is an Armenian is the biggest mistake that someone can make. I've seen many Armenian marriages succeed, and on the other hand I've seen many fail and end up in abuse, cheating and of course divorce.

Second of all, I really do not appreciate when some Armenians judge other Armenians on how Armenian they are. I've had Hayastanci Armenians tell me that I'm not Armenian just because I was born in Tbilisi. That judgement goes on all the time. That needs to stop. We talk about Muslims, and their hatred towards us, well how about we for once all start liking each other and stop making assumptions. For me personally, I am a pure Armenian and I can read, write and speak Armenian, but that's not good enough to some people.

Regarding the assimilation issue:

I agree with what loxxsqueen wrote. It all depends on the individual. It all depends on how bad that person wants to maintain his/her identity. I've seen people who came here 5 years ago, and they totally forgot where they came from, and I know people who are 2nd and 3rd generation living in US, and they kept their identity.

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Second of all, I really do not appreciate when some Armenians judge other Armenians on how Armenian they are. I've had Hayastanci Armenians tell me that I'm not Armenian just because I was born in Tbilisi.

agreed. dianjan, armenian is what you are, it's not something you try to be.

Edited by armjan
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Oh, this topic really hits me… I always wanted to marry an Armenian, always said and still say that they are the nicest, most careful and devoted men. Also most handsome ones! And I always wanted my kids to be what they say “100% pure Armenian”… But…. The only man I have ever loved is an “otar” (foreigner), even worse! is exactly the opposite kind of what I though I liked or wanted. And yet, I married him, although my mother used to tell me never marry because of love, and am the happiest person in the universe! I think we must marry who we love. And, I will never tell my children who to marry, it is their choice. But I do hope they marry Armenians.

Oh, I would have given so much for my husband to be an Armenian, but he is not, and for me marrying the person who I love and who loves me, is very important cause I know I have got only one life, and love is what makes me happy and what will make my family strong, my kids happy and satisfied (smart too! they will be able to learn lots of languages very easily, know about few cultures instead of 1 or 2).

So the bottom line is: marry the person u love, and carry on the traditions and the culture of your people (or the people U want) !!! And yes, you are who you want/choose to be.

p.s. something for mx5: I feel very free with my husband, and I am afraid I wouldn’t have been as free with an Armenian man (specially with all his family interfering in our life).

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I don't know, I love lavash and everytime I eat it I become more Armenian.

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I love lavash too, as while I don't become anymore remotely Armenian when I eat it I do feel satiated, and happy. :P

Edited by sev-mard
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  • 7 months later...
I myself don't see anything wrong with marrying outside your race. Don't understand why parents take it upon themselves to tell their kids whom to marry, and whom not to marry. It's not like they will be spending the rest of their lives with this person. :rolleyes:

 

What do you think about this Dude? :)

 

maybe you should change your nick to less than hye if you know what i mean. ;)

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If we want to consider ourselves as a proud and good people, we should first stop being racist.. -_-

 

I personnaly prefer to marry an armenian women, we understand each other, we have the same culture etc.. BUT, love cannot be commanded. If you find a woman and feel that she IS the woman of your life, it is the worst torture to forbid yourself to love her, even if she is not armenian.

 

Best is to look for women in armenian communities, that way you have less chance to meet a foreign woman of your dreams :P

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maybe you should change your nick to less than hye if you know what i mean. ;)

Wow your so wise. How did we ever get around without you all this time. They came up with this beanie baby just for you ;)

http://www.wisher-lures.com/beanie/wise.jpg

Edited by ExtraHye
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If we want to consider ourselves as a proud and good people, we should first stop being racist.. -_-

 

I personnaly prefer to marry an armenian women, we understand each other, we have the same culture etc.. BUT, love cannot be commanded. If you find a woman and feel that she IS the woman of your life, it is the worst torture to forbid yourself to love her, even if she is not armenian.

 

Best is to look for women in armenian communities, that way you have less chance to meet a foreign woman of your dreams :P

 

Well said.

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The reason why marrying outside of your race or ethnicity is bad, is because a lot of times it causes cultural problems. If you, love almost everything in your culture and how it is and what it's made up of, you are going to have a hard time being with someone of another ethnicity than you if they feel the same way about their culture. A lot of couples say that they will compromise their traditions, but down the line you are bound to hear things like, "Well, this is how we do things in my family" and that's when the drama begins. Different foods, dances, language, etc. A lot of times it's a lot of work to have interracial marriages work. I guess it can work when both people don't have any traditions and want to create their own.

 

P.S. Sorry if I repeated anything that was already said in this thread. I didn't read all the comments. :lookaround: lol.

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Hey every one!

what you guys think about "we armenians should marry an armenian"?

Today i met a women she was very upset about her son's girlfriend it's just because she is russian.Is it right or wrong?...

Maybe I've answered in this thread already, but I don't remember. Anyway, here is my answer. My children will be Armenian, biologically and culturally. With this goal, I guess it would be easier for me to find myself an Armenian husband. It's less complicated ;) :P

 

Edit: Or I should say why complicate the situation? :)

Edited by anoushik
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Maybe I've answered in this thread already, but I don't remember. Anyway, here is my answer. My children will be Armenian, biologically and culturally. With this goal, I guess it would be easier for me to find myself an Armenian husband. It's less complicated ;) :P

 

Edit: Or I should say why complicate the situation? :)

anoushik: What a philosoper you are!!! Yes my dear you and I have this for sure in common.

 

When I was looking for an Armenian guy to marry that's exactly what I said to myself. :)

My children will be Armenian biologically and culturally and I seeked only that.

Edited by Anahid Takouhi
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What a compliment! Thanks! :P

Anoushik:

 

While I complimented you, I have also complimented myself; because I really did indeed the same philosophy that I complimented you about which is the very same thoughts as mine. So you see, I am also a philosopher. Now you can compliment me right back. :P

 

By the way, I never said you are welcomed. :)

Edited by Anahid Takouhi
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  • 3 months later...

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