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Couple of Jokes


Azat

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Just for you Lady

~~~~~~~~~~~

 

There was a blonde woman who was having financial troubles, so she decided

to kidnap a child and demand a ransom.

 

She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and

wrote this note:

 

"I have kidnapped your child. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the

big oak tree in the park tomorrow at 7 AM.

 

Signed - "The Blonde"

 

She pinned the note inside the boy's jacket and told him to go straight home.

 

The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 in a brown

bag, behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed.

 

Also inside the bag was the following note: "Here is your money. I cannot

believe that one blonde would do this to another."

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

A blonde guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.

 

"What's up?" he says. "I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman.

 

He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says, "Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!"

 

The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor.

 

"You rotten bastard, "says the husband, "my wife's having a heart attack and you're running around naked scaring the kids."

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs it on her bathroom door.

 

One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says, "Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bustline forty four."

 

Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her breasts grow to enormous proportions. Excitedly, she runs to tell her husband what happened, and in minutes they both return.

 

This time the husband crosses his fingers and says, "Mirror mirror on the door, make my penis touch the floor!"

 

Again, there's a bright flash...

 

and his legs fall off.

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Sure it is no problem. I can't do it for you but you can. Just click on "My Controls", and then click on Edit Avatar Settings. Select "Your Image Avatar". Now just past this link "http://5nw.md5lions.com/thm_anlion03.gif" in the "Your avatar" text area and save.

 

I will change mine soon.

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Grace, you should change the width to 96 and the height to 74 on your avatar to make it look nice. if you want it larger you can change the width to 128 and the height to 99 to maintain the aspect ratio right.
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