Antonina Mahari: "If I am not worthy of respect for who I am, then

[Yervant1]

Antonina Mahari: "If I am not worthy of respect for who I am, then

turn your gaze away"

Sona Avagyan

 

http://hetq.am/eng/articles/21743/antonina-mahari-if-i-am-not-worthy-of-respect-for-who-i-am-then-turn-your-gaze-away.html

12:30, December 21, 2012

 

The widow of writer Gurgen Mahari survives on 30,000 AMD per month

 

Antonina Mahari paces back and forth in the freezing apartment. She's

bundled up in as many layers of clothes as possible.

 

Even inside, she wears gloves and a hat. The average temperature of

the well-maintained apartment, left untouched since the death of her

husband Gurgen Mahari in 1969, is around zero centigrade.

 

`When it gets really cold, I switch on a heater in the bedroom. I

probably turn it on after New Years,' says Mrs. Antonina. She

sometimes sleeps in a neighbor's apartment to stay warm.

 

The curtains are now shredded and threadbare from wear. They, like

most of the furnishings in the apartment, have remained untouched

since her famous husband passed away all those years ago.

 

`Do you see what terrible doors I have? But they are holy and

legendary doors for me. Your classical figures have knocked on these

doors to come and visit Gurgen Mahari. The great writer himself

knocked on these doors. I was always waiting for him. I do not want

doors of gold,' says Mrs. Antonina.

 

Antonina Mahari, a Lithuanian by birth, survives on 30,000 AMD ($74)

per month. She receives a monthly pension of 15,000 and a welfare

allowance in the same amount since she lives way below the official

poverty line.

 

Right now, she pays 3,000 AMD in monthly utility bills. When she turns

on the electric heater, the electric bill will more than triple.

 

Despite her own very limited means, Mrs. Antonina says there are

people in much more dire straits than her. `One must have a

conscience. Sometimes, when I can afford to, I'll give them 1,000 AMD

to tide them over. I'd be embarrassed to go and apply for assistance

when there are others around worse off than me,' she says.

 

No one from the Lithuanian Embassy in Armenia or from Armenia's

Ministry of Culture has come to visit her. Nevertheless, Mrs. Antonia

is happy that the ministry placed an order for the publication of her

book.

 

After the death of her husband, she wanted to keep his spirit alive.

She's transformed the living room into a kind of mini-museum with

photos, books and other memorabilia.

 

`I wanted to keep his memory alive. Those who visit say that it's as

if Gurgen is here in this apartment and that he'll walk through the

door at any moment. His old pals were really impressed,' she said.

 

The two met in a Siberian prison camp

 

Antonina Mahari (née Povilaytinen), then a student at the Law Faculty,

and Gurgen Mahari (Ajemian), first met in Siberia.

 

`I was very young when they arrested me. What followed was ten years

in jail. I had turned 29 by the time I was released. I was arrested

for belonging to an underground students' group called Freedom for

Lithuania. What was wrong with a bunch of students wanting freedom for

Lithuania? The Soviet authorities persecuted us and wanted to erase

the Baltic States. There was a great Armenian painter there as well,

Ashot Sanamyan. He had been arrested for membership in the Independent

Armenia secret organization and spent twenty years in prison. I have

written about him too,' says Antonina Mahari.

 

Gurgen Mahari had been arrested and charged for belonging to a

`terrorist' organization that was plotting to kill Lavrentii Beria,

Stalin's notorious police chief. His wife says that Mahari didn't even

have it in him to hold a rifle.

 

`When we met, he was tending a flock of pigs. He later became

seriously ill. Even the doctors had given up hope. They had

transferred him to a hospice to die. Mahari sent me a note to come to

his bedside. I went and did whatever I could to take care of him. He

would say, `Let me just spend one year with you, just one year'. I

wished for the same, but we wound up spending sixteen years together.

He was still young when he died,' Antonina Mahari said.

 

She spent ten years in Siberia and Gurgen Mahari survived for

seventeen. They were released together. They married in Siberia and

then moved to Armenia.

 

`You are under the heel of the Russians'

 

Mrs. Antonina hasn't been back to her native Lithuania ever since

Armenia regained its independence. The travel costs have skyrocketed

and she now needs special documents and an invitation.

 

`I love Armenia and don't want anything bad to happen here,' she says,

adding that there is kindness and sincerity in the people here, just

like in her neighbors.

 

But she abhors the jealousy and hatred towards most everything that

people in Armenia exhibit.

 

Mrs. Antonina also feels sad that Armenia still retains cultural

influences from Russia.

 

In the rest of the world, people greet each other as Mr. or Mrs., but

here in Armenia they address her as `Antonina Mikhaylovich'. This

infuriates her.

 

`Why do they use this Russian expression here in Armenia? I want to

locate the Armenian `me'', she exclaims.

 

Antonina is also surprised that guests used to come and ask for

Russian books since they couldn't properly read Armenian. She says

that she and her husband were against parents sending their kids to

Russian and not Armenian schools. Even after the fall of the Soviet

Union, some Armenians still prefer Russian schools.

 

`I am not in favor of this. You are under the heel of the Russians.

How did the Russians help you when they were killing Armenians in

Baku? You have no friends. Stay strong. I want your Armenian essence

to soar,' says Antonina Mahari.

 

Steeled by the trials and tribulations of her life, Antonina is

insulted when people only respect her as the wife of Gurgen Mahari.

 

`If I am not worthy of respect for who I am, then don't respect me.

Turn your gaze from me. And they do just that, by the way,' she says.

 

Antonina says she won't be buying anything for New Years and will

welcome in 2013 at home by herself.

 

At our conversation came to a close she added, `We celebrate the New

Year because we have made it through alive. Many couldn't wait and

left while still young. Thus, we give thanks to God and may He bless

the year to come.'

 

P.S. - Hetq first wrote about the plight of Antonina Mahari in a March

2010 article entitled `Antonina Mahari: `Like iron, I have been forged

in the cauldron of many storms'

[Arpa]

Thank you Yervant for the article. I had seen that very disturbing and frustrating article at HETQ a few days ago and prepared the following commentary. But I was too ashamed and had decided to not air it. Here is an abbreviated version.

=====

ANTONINA Mrs. Mahari/Ajemian?

A very sad story.

As if the life and death of Gurgen was not sad enough.

Don’t mind me, as always once again -Yes jour em tsetsum- I am beating water-.

http://hetq.am/static/news/b/2012/12/21743.jpg

http://hetq.am/static/news/b/2012/12/21743.jpg

http://hetq.am/eng/articles/21743/antonina-mahari-if-i-am-not-worthy-of-respect-for-who-i-am-then-turn-your-gaze-away.html

See also the Armenian version;

http://hetq.am/arm/articles/21743/antonina-mahari-if-i-am-not-worthy-of-respect-for-who-i-am-then-turn-your-gaze-away.html

The myth of that legendary Armenian Hospitality?

Can you spell xenophobia/otaratum?

We have spoken about the subject at length. Search (hospitality) and see.

She has lived in Armenia as a citizen, yet…she is still viewed as a foreigner.

In the rest of the world, people greet each other as Mr. or Mrs., but here in Armenia they address her as “Antonina Mikhaylovna”. This infuriates her.

----

Steeled by the trials and tribulations of her life, Antonina is insulted when people only respect her as the wife of Gurgen Mahari.

----

I am sure she speaks better Armenian than many of our so called armenologists.

Antonina is also surprised that guests used to come and ask for Russian books since they couldn’t properly read Armenian. She says that she and her husband were against parents sending their kids to Russian and not Armenian schools. Even after the fall of the Soviet Union, some Armenians still prefer Russian schools.

====

PS. Dear Yervant please don’t hold your hopes very high. I expect very little, if any responses to this subject.

Edited December 23, 2012 by Arpa

[MosJan]

tsavali nyut e.. qani oaraj yes el tesa,.... asetcy Ashot@ yerevi dni' Ashort Sinamyan mer Ashoti papikn e yeghel

[Nané]

PS. Dear Yervant please don’t hold your hopes very high. I expect very little, if any responses to this subject.

 

Arpa, what response can one expect to such a shameful account? Please don't think that just because we don't "ts-ts-ts" or shake our heads, we don't read these topics and clench our teeth. But what is there to respond? We would only be stating the obvious.

[Arpa]

Very good point Nane.

This blows away the fable of the Legendary Armenian Hospitality.

Remember thr old adage - Fish and guests begin to smell after three days.

Did Armenians formulate that saying?

[Nané]

Very good point Nane.

This blows away the fable of the Legendary Armenian Hospitality.

Remember thr old adage - Fish and guests begin to smell after three days.

Did Armenians formulate that saying?

 

Arpa - the way I see it - in this case the matter on hand is not the proper treatment of guests or foreigners. The white elephant in the room is the bold mistreatment or rather the marginalization of those (artists, thinkers, writers, etc) who have enriched our culture and history, who have given us a reason to hold our heads up high ... The same goes for their spouses, parents and children. I consider it the moral duty of our government to ensure these individuals are protected and cared for and the works left behind are properly maintained. Am I dreaming? Probably ... How many of our Greats have their museums? And time is working against us.

[Arpa]

Read the rest here by Eddie Arnavoudian;

http://www.groong.or...c-20040714.html

Is this the reason why Antonina is despised even today?

See paragraph 2.where we see the public burning of the book- The Burning Orchards- and that his wife lives in abject poverty even now The article by Eddie was written in 2004.

 

Mahari's last major work, one he regarded as his masterpiece and on

which he had laboured since the 1930s was treated as outrageous

blasphemy. Mahari was charged with grievously misrepresenting the

Armenian resistance, of dishonouring the revolutionary movement that

led it and of slandering its best representatives. So 'The Burning

Orchards' was burnt in public and its author subjected to death

threats. Intense hostility forced a dispirited and ill Mahari to

radically rewrite the novel for its second edition. His critics

however were not to be satisfied and long after his death they

continue to wreak revenge on one of Armenia's most talented poets and

novelists, a man of sturdy principle and enormous compassion who

survived both the Armenian Genocide and Stalin's labour camps. Today

Mahari's wife is abandoned, living isolated and in abject poverty in a

cold Yerevan apartment.

[Nané]

Read the rest here by Eddie Arnavoudian;

http://www.groong.or...c-20040714.html

Is this the reason why Antonina is despised even today?

See paragraph 2.where we see the public burning of the book- The Burning Orchards- and that his wife lives in abject poverty even now The article by Eddie was written in 2004.

 

I don't think so ... most people probably don't even know about "The Burning Orchards" or the ordeals the book has faced.

[MosJan]

amen inch shat aveli parz e .. ughaki menq kortsrel enq mer karektselu @endunakutyun@, srtatsav chenq

Arden moratsel enq hyur @endunel@, poghostsum barevel@, metsin hargel@, janaparh tal@ tegh zijela, Azgi heros@ da aveli tsatsr e qan harevan Oligarx@ ov jeep uni....

Bazmazavak Mayr@ aveli qich harganq uni qan mi xaghkatak ov iysor inchvor meki hajuyqi hamar syuperstar a dartsel.. Haykakan ShowBozznesi p@lplan Ast@gh...

 

tarets / Toshakarun Hasarakutyan mej tegh chni .. Harganq....

poxaren@ "munnatikneri" azg enq darnum gnalov.. Tsurviz.. mez kotoretsin... Mez Xapetsin... menq Arajin... mezz nayeq.... $$$$$ tveq menq ....

menq mer yerazanqneri azg@ chenq..

[Yervant1]

UNITE, OR ELSE FLEE TO DIFFERENT COUNTRIES: ANTONINA MAHARI'S WILL TO ARMENIANS (VIDEO)

19:09 | January 12,2016 | Social

92-year-old Antonina Mahari rarely leaves her house; it is clear
with the naked eye that there is nothing good outside, "Diseases,
people are dying. Is there anything good?"

She will not say the same about herself; the conditions of the house,
of course, aren't good, unheated room, damaged parquet. The cold,
of course, hinders writing and reading, but is that a problem? "If my
neighbor is unwell, I am also unwell. My neighbors are ill. I cannot
think only about myself."

Until 1969 Mrs. Antonina lived with great Armenian writer Gurgen
Mahari in this house, "He was a wretched man, that's why I loved him.

A wretched man."

All the walls of the room tell about the episodes of the writer's
life. In one photo he is with Charents, in another one- with Martiros
Saryan, the greeting text received from Serzh Sargsyan two years ago
is among these memories.

The faith in victory of good in this cold room has become a writing
about the worst days, "It was a completely different love, spiritual,
I wanted to save him, to take out from the grave, but he was dying. It
was something different, incomprehensible to you."

There is history of last days of Mahari in these sheets of paper. Mrs.

Antonina again demands to read aloud. It is impossible to refuse,
in the text the dying Gurgen Mahari is presented as a beloved son,
"All this painful way, my beloved son is gone, the last person among
my loved ones left."

Conclusion of this memory is love confession to Armenians, and also
an exhortation, almost a will with a pen of a Lithuanian woman- unite,
or else flee to different countries.

What could this woman do? Life together with a genius is an absolute
sacrifice; after all that she doesn't long for compassion, "All
the geniuses are crazy. You don't know, writers are mad, they are
helpless."

By the way, even today the door of the flat says that Gurgen Mahari
lives inside it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xVCHrCcXnfQ

http://en.a1plus.am/1226636.html

[Yervant1]

ARKA, Armenia

Oct 3 2018

Antonina Mahari, wife of prominent Armenian writer Gurgen Mahari, dies at 94

Lithuanian writer Antonina Mahari, the widow of prominent Armenian writer of the Soviet period Gurgen Mahari, has passed away at the age of 94 after a lengthy illness.

Mrs. Antonina, who was also a member of the Writers’ Union of Armenia, had been suffering from an illness for your years and was in unconscious state several days before dying in the hospital, the union’s head, Edward Militonyan told Panorama.am.

She was living alone in poor housing conditions in an apartment in Yerevan’s Arabkir district.

“I would love to sit and write at the moment, but my hands are getting cold. Now I am writing in my mind. Come in summer, you will see how warm it is here; the summer sun enters the room, heats it,” she said in an interview with Panorama.am around three years ago.

Mrs. Antonina had warm memories of her husband. “Gurgen was a very unhappy person, that is why I loved him. He was a very dear person to me; we had been together in our hardest moments. Our love was completely different, I wanted to save him since he was dying, I wanted to take him out of the grave. You won’t understand it. I was happy with him,” she recalled.

https://www.panorama.am/en/news/2018/10/03/Antonina-Mahari/2013269