gamavor Posted November 20, 2001 Report Share Posted November 20, 2001 A Scottish lad and lassie take a stroll by the lake on a romantic, warm, moonlit evening. Lassie: "Would you find it to your likin' to hold me hand, laddie?" Lad: "Oh, yes lassie -- very much!" A bit later, they sit by the bank of the lake. Lassie: : "And would it be to your likin' to kiss me, laddie?" Lad: "Oh, yes lassie!" They kiss. Later -- Lassie: "And how would you feel about a roll in the hay with me, laddie?" Lad: "Oh, lassie -- yer readin' me mind! But how did you know? Was it the gleam in me eyes?" Lassie: "No." Lad: "Was it the desire on me lips?" Lassie: "No."Lad: "Well then, how did you know I wanted to roll in the hay with you?" Lassie: "By the tilt of your kilt!" Question: "What's the difference between a sorority girl and a toilet?" Answer: "A toilet doesn't follow you around after you've used it!" Man to neighbor: My wife left me for my best friend. Neighbor: You bitter? Man: Yeah, and I bit him too! Question: "What's a screwdriver?" Answer: "A prostitute's way of getting a free cab ride!" Question: What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair brown? Answer: Artificial intelligence! Question: What did the policeman say to the condom?Answer: Cover me -- I'm goin' in! Question: What is the ultimate in trust? Answer: Two cannibals having oral sex! Question: What the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist? Answer: One looks up the family tree, and the other looks up the family bush! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dragon Posted November 20, 2001 Report Share Posted November 20, 2001 American way!************* $500 Porsche -------------- A man was reading the paper when an ad caught his eye: $500 Porsche! New! The man thought that it was very unusual to sell a Porsche for $500, and he thought it might be a joke, but thought it was worth a shot. So he went to the lady's house and sure enough, she had an almost brand new Porsche. "Wow!" the man said. "Can I take it for a test drive?" Unlike what he expected, the man found that the car ran perfectly and took it back to the lady's house. "Why are you selling me this great Porsche for only $500?" "My husband just ran off with his secretary, and he told me I could have the house and the furniture as long as I sold his Porsche and sent him the money." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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