IT'S GOOD TO BE A MAN

[ES]

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

You don't give a rat's butt if someone doesn't notice your new haircut.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky looking.

Same work... more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding Dress $5000; Tux rental $100.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood, ALL the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

You can leave the motel bed unmade.

You can kill your own food.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

Your underwear is $6.95 for a three-pack.

If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You don't have to clean your apartment if the maid is coming.

You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "He's mad at me."

You don't mooch off other's desserts.

You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

You don't have to shave below your neck.

Your belly usually hides your big hips.

One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife or your teeth.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.

[Rubo]

I swear I copied this joke as it is from a wacky Iranian site. Sip this one is especially for you just put the carpet down before rolling over it.

 

Once there was a turk, working with something in his house,

he calls his friend, and says " Hi, listen, I'm trying to fit a puzzle together, but I just cannot do it, it's impossible, can you help me?"

The friend said, "Ok, What's it meant to be?"

The turk said, "Well the picture at the front shows a tiger, it's really hard."

The friend said, "Ok, I will come to your house and I will help you, ok?"

So the friend arrived, and saw the puzzle on the table, and the turk showed the picture of the tiger, and the friend looked at the turk and said, "You fool, put the Kellog's Cornflakes back in the box...."

[Sip]

Thanks for the warning Ruben ... that was hillarious!

 

ES: Reading all that made me feel so much better It's great to be male.