The Turkish Mauser

[Gayane]

I had an opportunity this morning to look at and hold an authentic Turkish Mauser, Model 1903 (the year). The owner says that when he first got the rifle it gave him a really strange vibe, a bad feeling, the creeps basically. He went to shoot it and the rifle seemed like it had a mind of its own, he couldn't control it like he could his other rifles. As he shot it he would hear screaming in the background. This is all before he figured out the association between the Turkish Mauser and Armenian Genocide. So after about 20 rounds he stopped shooting it and buried it in the basement under his house. He only took it out so that I could take a look at it because I was practically begging to see it ever since he first mentioned it. The rifle also has a bayonet that comes with it. The bayonet I couldn't even hold and had to put down as soon as I touched it. The rifle itself gave me the creeps. Not only that, it angered me to the point where I had to have it put away again because I was afraid of my own angry reaction (I don't get angered easily, and it's practically impossible to get me to the boiling point like that). When I first looked at it, within the first second I made the association with Musa Dagh. I don't know why, can't explain it, I think it might have been used there (statistically a long shot, there are many other turkish mausers out there of the same era, but I felt the connection to Musa Dagh so strongly I couldn't help it). Even now as I type this I can still feel the rifle and I can't shake the connection I made. I think it'll be giving me nightmares for a while.

 

As you might have noticed, I usually don't post under this section; the Genocide is usually a topic I shy away from, I think because of my family's pain that resulted from it--it's a touchy issue for me, very personal whenever I sit down and discuss it with any members of my family or anyone else for that matter. But I had to post this because I've never had this kind of a reaction to the whole thing. My reaction has always been one of indignation and wounded pride, I think. Now it's anger. Haunting anger. The rifle just made the experience of the genocide for our ancestors very real for me I think.

 

I thought it was worth sharing

 

Gayane