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#1 Guest__*

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Posted 22 July 2000 - 04:51 PM

There are some cool jokes in ArmenianJokes. I liked today's jokes. They were fresh ones. Go there and click on July 22's link on calendar.

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Posted 03 August 2000 - 10:11 AM

I guess this is the topic for the jokes, so...

UREM@:

Inchu Abarantsun chi kareli darpasapah nshanakel? Vorovhetev @ngnuma khot utelov.

Inch klini ete Abarantsun dnel pati vra? PatnESH!!!

Inch klini ete Abarantsinerin sharel erkatughu erkaynqov? ESHElon!!!

The newest about Abaran:
Mijazgayin brncqamarti mrcumner en. Zhoghavurd@ mi Abaranci tapov chobani khndruma Hayastani pativ@ pahel. Mrcumneric araj Abarancun motenuma gyughapet@, talis 2000$ u asuma "2 round dimaci". Dimanuma. Heto motenuma marzpet@ talis 5000$ u asum "5 round el dimaci". Dimanuma. Heto motenuma HH nakhagah@ talis 10000$ u asum "10 round el dimaci ev verj". Abarancin 10 round el a dimanum heto ring-ic durs a vazum u gorruma: "El chem dimanuuuum, hesa es negrin talu em spaneeeem!".

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Posted 03 August 2000 - 10:40 AM

Berj ete djvar chi nor anekdotner@ ArmenianJoks-um el avelacra.

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Posted 06 August 2000 - 06:44 AM

Jokes of Armenian Radio:

Q: Why did they establish a Ministry of Navy in Armenia. Do you have a sea?
A: To spite Azerbaijan. They established a Ministry of Culture.

Q: Why did Armenian Radio stop broadcasting yesterday from 12:00 to 02:00?
A: That was a programm for deaf-and-dumb audience.

Q: Why don't they let the Armenians stay more than 10 days in hotels?
A: On the 11-th day they begin to build a balcony.

Q: Is it ture that the Russians are the best inventors.
A: Yes, that's ture. They even managed to invent their inventors?

Q: Did Eva cheet on Adam?
A: No doubt she did. Don't you know that human race started from a monkey.

Q: Can a woman make a man a millioner?
A: Sure, if he is a billioner.

Q: What can you do if a tiger attacks your mother-in-law?
A: That's tiger's problem.

Q: What "Six day war" meens?
A: Jewish millitary art week in Egypt.

Q: What is expessionizm?
A: Express train full of sionists.

Q: Were the people equal during USSR.
A: Yes, but some people were more equal than the others.

Q: What was permanent in the USSR?
A: Temporary difficulties.



[This message has been edited by Berj (edited August 06, 2000).]

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Posted 06 August 2000 - 07:31 AM

There were three brothers living in Beijing: Chu, Bu and Fu.
One day, they decide to move to New York. As they land on the Ellis Island, they figure they'd change their names to blend in better.

Chu becomes Chuck.

Bu becomes Buck.

...And Fu decides to go back to Beijing...

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Posted 06 August 2000 - 07:34 AM

There is a Chinese family living in the US. They have their first baby. They name it
Chang-Ching-Chong.
Then they have their second baby. They name it
Fang-Fing-Fong.
Then there is the third baby, but the father realizes that the baby is darkish, with big lips and curly hair. So he names it:
Some-Thing-Wrong.

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Posted 06 August 2000 - 08:07 AM

Yerevani Avan taghamasitc mardu meg@ gnum e Moscow. Airport-um mi Rusi e handipum. Rus@ aradjarkum e dzanotanal.
Davay poznakomimsya.
- Ya Sibiryak
- A ya Avanyak.

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Posted 06 August 2000 - 08:27 AM

An Armenian businessman walked into a New York City bank and asked for the loan officer. He said he was going to Europe on business for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000. The loan officer said the bank would need some security for such a loan. The Armenian businessman then handed over the keys to a Rolls Royce that was parked on the street in front of the bank.
Everything checked out and the loan officer accepted the car as collateral for the loan. An employee then drove the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parked it there. Two weeks later the businessman returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest which came to $15.41.
The loan officer said:
'We do appreciate your business and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a bit puzzled. While you were away we checked and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why you would bother to borrow $5,000?'
The business man replied:
'Where else in New York City can I park my car for 2weeks for 15 bucks?'

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Posted 06 August 2000 - 08:30 AM

Q: How do you know the pilot of a plane is Armenian?
A: His arm sticks out of the window.

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Posted 06 August 2000 - 08:56 AM

Q: Kak vi zavyote yevrey kotoryi emigrirovalas v Israel, potom Obratno v Soyuz?
A: Dvajdi yevrey Sovetskogo Soyuza ;-)

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Posted 06 August 2000 - 09:15 AM

A man leaves a bar, gets into his car and drives away. 200 yards further he's stopped by a police officer.

Officer: "Good evening sir. We're testing drivers for drunken driving. Would you please blow into this machine?".

Man: "I'm sorry, I can't do that. I have asthma. If I blow on that machine I will get out of air".

Officer: "Please come along to the office and we can give you a blood test".

Man: "I can't do that. I have anemia and if you stick a needle in me I will bleed to death".

Officer: "Then you'll have to get out and walk 5 yards along this white line".

Man: "Can't do that either".

Officer: "Why not?".

Man: "Because I'm dead drunk".

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Posted 06 August 2000 - 09:30 AM

Good one ;-)

An old guy is sitting on a bus when a punk rocker gets on. The punk rocker's hair is red, green, yellow and orange. He has feather earrings.
When he sees the old man starting to look at him, the punk rocker says " What's the matter old man? Didn't you ever do anything wild when you were a young guy?"
The old guy replied,
" Yeah. One time I had *** with a parrot. I thought you might be my kid..."

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Posted 06 August 2000 - 06:51 PM

In the British Parliament:

Lord Galsworthy: "Mr. Speaker, do I have the right to call Lord Neshville a freaking lunatic?
Speaker: "No, Lord Galsworthy, you don't have the right to call Lord Neshville a freaking lunatic!
Lord Galsworthy: "In that case, Mr. Speaker, I'll refrain from calling Lord Neshville a freaking lunatic".
Lord Neshville: ???

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Posted 08 August 2000 - 01:09 AM

There is a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere where the following groups of people are stranded:

2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
2 French men and 1 French woman
2 German men and 1 German woman
2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarian woman
2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman
2 Armenian men and 1 Armenian woman

One month later on this absolutely stunning deserted island in the middle of nowhere, the following has occurred:

One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.

The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in a menage a trois

The two German men have a strict weekly schedule in which they alternate with the German woman.

The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.

The Bulgarian men took a long look at the endless ocean and one look at the Bulgarian woman and they started swimming.

The Irish began by dividing up their island,
Northside and Southside, and by setting up a distillery. They do not remember if *** is in the picture because it gets sort of foggy after the first few liters of coconut whiskey, but at least the English are not getting any.

And finally...

The 2 Armenian men are still waiting for someone to introduce them to the Armenian woman.

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Posted 08 August 2000 - 01:38 AM

I'm very sorry to present here my variation of the joke above, because the original one posted by our distinguished collague is excellent,however the part concerning Armenians looks more like a British tradition. So my version of the Armenians:

The Armenian men slept with every other woman on the island, then one of them got killed in a fight and the other one married the Armenian girl.

It would be interesting to see the Jewish version.

#16 Guest__*

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Posted 08 August 2000 - 08:51 AM

vay merra sulemik du Orbat es Welcome BAck

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Posted 08 August 2000 - 02:43 PM

That joke about the Desert Island was the best I have heard in a long time!

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Posted 09 August 2000 - 09:33 PM

Ha eli... vor tegh hay... ayt tegh VAY!!!

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Posted 11 August 2000 - 12:57 AM

A Canadian is having his 'petit dejeuner' (coffee, croissants, bread, butter & jam) when an American man, chewing gum, sits down next to him. The Canadian ignores the American who, nevertheless, starts a conversation.

American: "You Canada folk eat the whole bread??"
Canadian (in a bad mood): "Of course."

American: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. In the States, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants and sell them to Canada."

The American has a smirk on his face. The Canadian listens in silence.

The American persists: "D'ya eat jelly with the bread??"
Canadian: "Of Course."

American: (cracking his gum between his teeth and chuckling). "We don't. In the States, we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and left overs in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell the jam to Canada."

The Canadian then asks: "Do you have *** in America?"
American: "Why of course we do", the American says with a big smirk.

Canadian: And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"
American: "We throw them away, of course."
Canadian: "We don't. In Canada, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to America.

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Posted 11 August 2000 - 04:13 AM

Two dragons caught an Armenian, a Georgian and an Azeri. One of the dragons (Dragon 1) ordered them to bring food for him, and added they if they'll not bring enough he'll eat them. The other dragon (Dragon 2) continued his way to deal with some other business and they met again after a week.
Dragon 2: Hey, what happened to those three we caught last time?
Dragon 1: Georgian's food was not enough so I ate him, Azeri's food was not enough either so I ate him too.
Dragon 2: What happened to the Armenian?
Dragon 1: Well, I don't really know, he never came back.




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