QUOTE (Anonymouse @ Feb 22 2008, 12:28 PM)

Maybe you forget that to even have any successful relations, whether friendship or marriage, involves biting your tongue more often than letting it loose on the other side. After all, most of our loving relations (be they with friends, parents, etc.) are not for their perfections, but their faults. If people viewed even friendship, nevermind marriage, as an endeavor in picking the faults we are most comfortable with and willing to tolerate, then it wouldn't seem that bad. But people are full of shyt, thinking in abstractions all the damn time. Of course, someone will think they are so intelligent and point out, "but what if they are just soooo faulty," well, this is where I say differences are in degrees, not in kinds.
The logical implication of what you seem to prescribe based on the notion of being afraid to do anything about it is a throw away society that breaks down at the slightest sight of disagreeable behavior or behavior contrary to our supposed lofty goals and ideals.
Hi Anon inchbes es?
Yes there's a great deal of Americans and others too who subscribe to what you're saying above (being throw away society); but what do you say when a partner for instance;
Stops working at his/her marriage and regards his/her family first and utmost and puts his/her spouse way in the back seat because he/she does not carry the same blood in his/her veins? Especially when the in-laws treat the spouse badly? Or
If he is a notorious womanizer, or
he has sickness such as a horrible gambling problem, or
a very heavy drinking problem, etc. etc. etc.
I would say;
In the first scenario the resentment stays for always and the relationship falters.
In the second scenario, well if the spouse does it only once, maybe she/he can forgive and try to forget about it; but if it keeps coming up again and again; with the scary diseases, it's up to the spouse to let it go and separate or some few people tolerate it.
In the third scenario, when a spouse (usually men) have a heavy gambling problem they can seek help and hopefully can be cured mostly.
In the fourth scenario, again AAA and if the spouse is willing the heavy drinking will be mostly cured when they seek help.
Other things go wrong in marriages too; but I put out a few of the above that would be reasons for separation or divorce. In my view I think there are very few marriages that are really successful and happy. Of course if a couple are free spirited couple, they both make money and they are both in control of themselves and their destiny, they have guts and they don't regard much that their children will suffer to some extent about the divorce or the separation. But I agree to the fact that in pre-arranged marriages, most of them cease to have spine/guts to separate even when things go wrong.
Edited by Takoush, 22 February 2008 - 12:51 PM.