57 replies to this topic

[hyebruin]

bruin got lucky this weekend!! get your mind out of the gutter!!! that is NOT what i meant!!! ...anyways, i was driving back from the gym and got pulled over by a ...rather cute cop!.... anyways, it turns out i was going about 5 miles > the limit...AND didn't have my license on me either! only school id and gym membership...so, i gave that to him..and ...and ....he let me go!!!! me so happy!!!! ....he was so adorable....jaaaanaaaaa!!! ---the funny part is when i was proudly relaying some of this to my dad he was like: "bakhd, bakhd es berel!!! yes chem haskanum!! ed meg@ chem l@se...." he was so baffled by the whole thing!! he couldn't figure out why i wasn't penalized for at least not having my license....and my response was..."guess 'cause i was a girl!!"...if the circumstances were different(like if i wasn't pulled over!! duhhh!! ) i would have definitely tried to be eXtra friendly with our local law enforcement officer!!! "hey, baby, blue is my color too!! "

[joseph parikian]

[joseph parikian]

[sev-mard]

For any of you who wonder what marketing is, here you go. Just keep in mind that you have to deliver against your claim if you expect any repeat business.


"What is marketing?", the following analogies will help clear it up...

You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say, "I'm
fantastic in bed."
- That's Direct Marketing.

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One
of your friends goes up to him and pointing at you says, "She's
fantastic in
bed." - That's Advertising.

You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his
telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in
bed."
- That's Telemarketing.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy. You get up and straighten
your dress. You walk up to him and pour him a drink. You say, "May I,"

and
reach up to straighten his tie brushing your breast lightly against his
arm, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed."
- That's Public Relations.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and says,
"I hear you're fantastic in bed." - That's Brand Recognition.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy. You talk him into going home
with your friend.
- That's a Sales Rep.

Your friend can't satisfy him so he calls you.
- That's Tech Support.

You're on your way to a party when you realize that there could be
handsome men in all these houses you're passing. So you climb out the
sunroof of the car and shout at the top of your lungs, "I'm fantastic in

bed!"
- That's Spam.

[hyebruin]

thanks sev-mard jan!!! that was super!!

[Anonymouse]

So there I was at my favorite watering hole (most people throw penny's in the well, I throw in my empty cans). So there I was. And up comes this guy with his girlfriend who was visibly crying. He said "Hey! Is this the guy honey?" while pointing at me, and through her sobbing, she muttered a faint "yeah". The guy says to me, "I'm going to kick your ass" and I said "Ok, just one second."

I proceeded to chug my last Mike's Hard Lemonade, I jammed my fingers down my throat, and sent out a perfect stream of projectile vomit with enough force to tear the paint off of an '82 Ford. With his eye's burning, I quickly made my escape, but not before stealing his shoes.

http://cgi.ebay.com/...bayphotohosting

Help put food on this poor old man's table. Thank you.

[Sasun]

So there I was at my favorite watering hole (most people throw penny's in the well, I throw in my empty cans). So there I was. And up comes this guy with his girlfriend who was visibly crying. He said "Hey! Is this the guy honey?" while pointing at me, and through her sobbing, she muttered a faint "yeah". The guy says to me, "I'm going to kick your ass" and I said "Ok, just one second."

I proceeded to chug my last Mike's Hard Lemonade, I jammed my fingers down my throat, and sent out a perfect stream of projectile vomit with enough force to tear the paint off of an '82 Ford. With his eye's burning, I quickly made my escape, but not before stealing his shoes.

http://cgi.ebay.com/...bayphotohosting

Help put food on this poor old man's table. Thank you.

man that was disgusting

[joseph parikian]

[Anonymouse]

Is that my head?

[Stormig]

OMG, those are fantastic.
Well, since I have the ears, I might as well have the shoes.

Attached Files

•  elfshoes.jpg   47.33KB   1 downloads

[Anonymouse]

Indeed.

[angel4hope]

hey that looks like the pair i got for x-mas from santa... hehe

[gevo27]

Angel,, we know you stole those from him,, so howed u do it?

[Azat]

I just had to post this here. it is one of the funniest things I have seen



http://www.klokicker...index_engl.html

[MartyRoss]

Since it return of Armenia, my cat always has the blues, it watches only armenian tv programs and drinks...

Attached Files

•  mon_chat_apr_s_son_retour_d__Arm_nie.jpg   11.31KB   1 downloads

[Stormig]

Is that Kotayk your cat is drinking?

[MartyRoss]

Right Sir !

[sev-mard]

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules
from the male side. These are OUR rules!

Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put
it down. We need it up; you need it down. You don't hear us complaining
about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of
it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints
do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say
it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect
us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the
ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. Not both. If you
already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We
have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an
answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
fine. Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster
trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like
camping.

[Stormig]

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of
it that way.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints
do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say
it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the
ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. Not both. If you
already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an
answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
fine. Really.

That's a classic, and some of the above which I picked out aren't necessarily guy-to-girl things. The whining and fibbing I get from my girl friends just makes me sick sometimes. And then there is the housewives' thing with dissing their own cooking and the other assuring them it's fine, then the host reiterating that it would've been better if the other had been put in or what was put in were put in less - loud like they're giving a speech to a crowd without a microphone in their possession - it's a must-do ritual in all possible combinations of neighbours.

On a side note, I believe it is now being understood that sitting when draining the lizard is healthier for you men.

[sev-mard]

On a side note, I believe it is now being understood that sitting when draining the lizard is healthier for you men. 

chem manun, i don't know if it's healthier, but is does give you a chance to rest every now and again.