33 replies to this topic

[Gayane]

I think the institution of marriage has meant different things to different women over different periods in history. What do you think is the significance of marriage for women nowadays? How much has it changed or remained the same? What hopes/dreams do women have going into marriage? What part of these are they able to realize? What does a woman leave behind when getting married, if anything? What does she gain, if anything? I have a million similar questions, but you get the gist of it, I'm sure.

(lol, I know, I know, Gayane is actually talking about marriage, hell must be freezing over...lol)

Sound off, ladies and gentlemen, let's see what you think about women and marriage!! lol

[Gayane]

Does no one want to tackle marriage? lol, funny

[edg]

Gayane jan, I will just write what my tea cup says..

I believe that marriage is a sacred institution, but then again who wants to live in an institution?

[MosJan]

IY dzer tsav@ tanem et PAtmelu BAn chi duk dzer mashki vra petqa zgaq

[Nané]

Edqan dazhan a Movses?

(ed #7-@ verj@ piti qeznits goghanam)

[Marro]

I guess I don't know much about marriage, I've only been married for 4 years. Boy Very long four years. lol. We have had our ups and downs. But at the end of the day when we are sitting talking about our day I know I have a best friend who will always be there for me. I am a school teacher and there were times that I wanted to quit but my husband wonld let me. To me that is important. When I am feeling down, he is always there to pick me up. I could tell him that I want to join NASA (which will never happen) but I know he will support me. And the same goes for me. I will support my husband no matter what.

Well I'm not sure if this answers any of your question.


Bye
Thanks
Marina


Support Our Troops!!!!!!!!!!

[hyebruin]

well, i think marriage is an illusion...just like 'love' is...it seems like everybody i meet tells me that i should not get married and so i won't have to deal with all the issues of marriage and all the baggage of the other person!!!... everything in this society is about sex sex and more sex!!! nothing is sacred, monogamy is a strange and foreign concept to many...so what is this bullshit marriage all about? a chance for someone to screw you and make you more miserable versus just making you a little less miserable if you were just dating?????...MOST people in our society are definitely NOT marriage material due to their immaturity, and utter selfishness...and what then after a few years? they'll just get tired of you and go on to pursue another relationship or just cheat!!! these ARE the facts! but most people like to dream and fantasize that it is not!! why? it's just setting yourself up for more dissapointment!!!....

[Azat]

Wow Bruin. Why so negative? I think marriage is a wonderful thing(not that I know much about it). Finding the right person is the key.

[DominO]

well, i think marriage is an illusion...just like 'love' is...it seems like everybody i meet tells me that i should not get married and so i won't have to deal with all the issues of marriage and all the baggage of the other person!!!... everything in this society is about sex sex and more sex!!! nothing is sacred, monogamy is a strange and foreign concept to many...so what is this bullshit marriage all about? a chance for someone to screw you and make you more miserable versus just making you a little less miserable if you were just dating?????...MOST people in our society are definitely NOT marriage material due to their immaturity, and utter selfishness...and what then after a few years? they'll just get tired of you and go on to pursue another relationship or just cheat!!! these ARE the facts! but most people like to dream and fantasize that it is not!! why? it's just setting yourself up for more dissapointment!!!....

I think two people should first live together for at least more than a year before deciding if they should marry eachother... so they can know what to expect from eachother.

[THOTH]

My my my...I can only imagine what prompted this...

"well, i think marriage is an illusion...just like 'love' is..."

neither is I think - each is very real...

"everybody i meet tells me that i should not get married and so i won't have to deal with all the issues of marriage and all the baggage of the other person!!!... "

Yes - difficult sometimes to be able to think not just of yourself first and foremost...but this is important for growing...otherwise you are always (basically) just a child...and do you ever imagine yourself having children? Well lots of baggage there (in a sense) and lots of issues to deal with...really - if you can't imagine yourself giving and doing things for others you should certainly never become a parent - and probably never get marrried..but you just mind regret - when your old and no longer such a catch (considered to be beautiful/desireable)...you just might regret your lonlyness/isolation and wonder why there is no one to give to/for you...no one who cares...who loves...

"everything in this society is about sex sex and more sex!!! "

No it isn't...its titilation...it has very little to do with real sex. Sex isn't masturbation - its about pleasuring another adult in a most profound way and (properly) its about love and caring and about sensuousness and physical passion...nothing at all to do with Madison Avenue, Hollywood or any of the rest...

"monogamy is a strange and foreign concept to many...so what is this bullshit marriage all about? "

Its about giving and commitment...it its not necessarily just limited to monogamy (and our society is adapting/altering this concept..if it even was so sacrisant [for everyone]...but it ain't really so bad...at least its regular...

"a chance for someone to screw you and make you more miserable versus just making you a little less miserable if you were just dating?????..."

Wow - don't really know what to say to this one...but why neccesarily miserable? Why not wonderful instead?

"MOST people in our society are definitely NOT marriage material due to their immaturity, and utter selfishness..."

Perhaps true...but even if we cull out "most" - still leaves lots of possibilities...there are lots of wonderful people out there too...

"...and what then after a few years? they'll just get tired of you and go on to pursue another relationship or just cheat!!! these ARE the facts! but most people like to dream and fantasize that it is not!! why? it's just setting yourself up for more dissapointment!!!...."

Perhaps, perhaps not...may depend on what kind of a lover you are eh? LOL ...and (seriously) on other things of course...and it doesn't have to be/isn't always that way...and cheat implys sneaking and dishonesty...perhaps there are other ways...don't set your sites so narrowly...necessarily...etc

Hope thsi helps....but seriously...its not really so bad. You have just had some bad like. Like many pretty gals I've known in my life you sometimes/often get yourself in bad relationships. The guys seem like they have a lot going for them for whatever reason ( a fancy car, being on a winning sports team, and having a sweet tongue are not always the attributes for a long term succesful relationship for instance...and often lead to tyhe kind of guys who in the end won't treat you right). I really think you need to start dating ugly/normal, less well off, less ambitious or what not guys...just a suggestion...in any case you should likely broaden/increase your range of acceptable dates...who knows - you may find someone (nice & entirely OK...maybe even exciting and such) whom you never even knew existed...

[Accelerated]

My my my...I can only imagine what prompted this...

I think I know:

Parents trying to force briun to get hitched......bruin dazed and confused....LOL

....all I know is Im gettin tanked tommorow night as the 'party gang' is gettin together (rarelly happens these days ) - will post pics

[gamavor]

Bruin,

With all due respect, make an effort when approached by any man to figure out what can you expect from him and what he expects from you. Otherwise disappointment will be an everlasting companion in every relationship that you might get involved.

To me sex is about having fun with a person that I appreciate for more than one reason (physics). Well, sometimes I have no time to think about her other qualities but the bottom line is that marriage is "delo tonkoe" because it comes in a package with so many other things.

PS: Don’t forget that it is possible to fall in love and then no one can help you!

[hyebruin]

thanks guys:) especially thoth for all your elaborate answers!!...i don't know about an 'ugly' guy!!??? i prefer 'singledom' to that!!!!! ... i think it's a matter of opposites attracting...i'm functional...therefore, i attract the dysfunctionals!! TOTALLY TRUE CONCEPT!! i was talking to this co-worker the other day, and his son (who is my age) is married this pscyho!!! really! the kind who grab their kid by one arm and put them in the car kind of psycho!!! ~~ and you know what? the more i talked to him (the father) the more i saw this parallel of this responsible,loving guy who had been dating all kinds of 'damsels in distress'!!! the rescuer phenomenon as i call it! i don't know? maybe i feel like a guy who has everything doesn't 'need to be fixed' (nooo pun intended here!) so why should i hang around? ---i can honestly say, i NEVER dated a normal guy!!! they all had issues....mostly emotional issues... and ever since i said to myself i won't be no one's damn therapist, it seems like the pool has shrunk!! ....but that's a good thing! hey, besides it's a total fallacy to believe that just 'cause someone's an uglyass they can't screw you! ---i think my radar may be out of tune--- .......

[Caucasian]

Marriage : Leap into fire
Ring : Ball and chain

[THOTH]

LOL Bruin...well I really didn't mean ugly ugly...you should have your standards of course...what I am really trying to get accross is that often pretty gals (such as yourself! LOL) often are pusued by good looking, perhaps athletic and or sucessful (type A) guys etc...and tend to go out with these "pretty boy" or whatever types/...well these guys are often players - looking for trophy girlfriends or whatever...(not saying that some/many of these guys might not be OK...however) often these type of guys do have issues and are not the type to treat gals right (I have stories and stories regarding friends of mine in these sort of situations)...so all I am trying to say is that (if this is perhaps you...and I suspect to some degree it might be...but of course I understand I really don't knw..) (I would suggest that) you might want to broaden your horizons a bit....and perhaps consider being interested (even pursueing on your own) guys who you might otherwise not consider (normal guys...) - lots of them out there - and many are likely a lot more interesting then they might apear on first glance (same goes for the opposite...guys not going for beuaty queens but nore "regular" gals etc)...perhaps I just don't trust folks who are too into their looks...(but my experience...etc)...anyway hope iot helps...and yes I know that even "normal" people are not immune to nerosis or whatnot...but I am very relucaant to accept this concept (that you seem to put forth) that everyne has problems/is difficult/has an agenda or whatever...you just haven't met the right guy (who will worship you...but perhaps not to the point of not being able to hold his gropund)...anyway - just more thoughts - for what its worth...I just hate to see some of the attitudes that you have (particualry for someone your age/young)...life its too short...

[hyebruin]

thanks thoth you're so sweet! ....i just have one question! how in the world do you figure that i'm a 'pretty gal?' (as you put it?)...i could be some obese middle aged gray haired nerd with really bad skin from montana...think about it!

[Sip]

The question I have is .. why does marriage have to be a 24/7 type of a deal. Why not something like 3 days a week or maybe alternating weeks? What about a 3-day on, 4-days off type of a scenario where you are married Monday through Wednesday, but get thrusday, friday, and the weekends off to do whatever?

Seems to me like it would be something I would be interested in ... but this 24/7, day in day out, every day for the rest of life type of a commitment just sounds too much like biblical "eternity" clauses of punishment.

I mean to put things in perspective, I enjoy surfing the web but even that I can't do 24/7 EVERYDAY ... I sometimes like to go out, play some basketball, hit up a buffet, or just wrench on the car.

[hyebruin]

sip, i can't wait to hear thoth give you his take on this one!!! oh boy!!!! i can't wait!! come on thoth...tell him all the joys and bliss of marital life...by the way...the reason i view relationships the way i do, is because 99% of the guys out there THESE DAYS think like this!!! (nothing personal, sip jan we're still friends

[hyebruin]

eench anehnk? daar@ poxvehl aah!!!!

[Sip]

Yah let's see what Thoth has to say now but here's another point about these 24/7 long term types o things ... even something like an orgasm would get boring after like 40 minutes ... I bet after like 37 minutes you'd be like ok, enough already, let's see what's on TV or something like that.

I always get a kick out of all these religious people talking about torments in HELL with the fire and the maggots and the pitch forks and all that other stuff ... I mean ANYTHING for eternity would be extremely painful. Even heaven!!!!

But I think I know what Thoth is going to say Ah yes, the never-ending dynamics of a good marriage ...